Why are young women with children looked down upon?

Question

I recently met a single 23 yr old mother who was working to provide for her son. She told me horror stories of her parents, friends and co-workers looking down upon her just for deciding to keep her son. I was so touched by her sacrafice that i wrote her a poem letting her know that her situation did not go un noticed and that in my eyes i had nothing but respect for her. I can closly relate as my mother raised me on her own as well for the better half of my childhood years. What i want to know, is why are young single mothers looked down on so much in our society, when in reality i believe they deserve the upmost respect. (Keep in mind i am not speaking on those mothers who abandon their responsibility or do not handle it with the care and devotion that they should). Any thoughts?

Answer 1

Even though the times have changed I think a lot of people still believe that women should get married, have children, and take of her husband, the house, and the kids. (In that order) That's a rarity this day and age. I believe that if you have a child, with or w/o a husband, as long as you can provide for that child and take care of him/her, you shouldn't be looked down upon. People will always critisize others if they don't think they are as good as they are, if they have different beliefs, or even if they are jealous. And although I wish I could change that, it's human nature and unfortunately will never change. But it's people like you and others who know that reality isn't all flowers and sunshine that can make a difference.

Answer 2

I don't know why really. i agree with you that they deserve so much more respect than people give them. It takes a lot of strength to decide to support and love a child all by yourself and millions of mothers do it every day. My mom got divorced when I was 4 and raised my brother and I with absolutely no outside help. Sure there were times when she was more absent than the average parent but now that I am older I see how amazing she really was to raise two (not very well behaved) children, work full time and finish college. She is my personal hero. I think it's because people are close minded to households that are run a little more untraditionally. It's really sad that they are put down when someone should point how loving these single women really are.

Answer 3

that is a question I sometimes ask my self raising my 2 children by myself don't get me wrong the father has finally moved in but he don't work so all he does is make it harder on me I am 23 yrs. old I take care of my 2 kids (4yr old boy and 2 yr. old girl)My boyfriend (30yrs. old) Myself and his Daughter (7yrs old not even mine) and I still see people look down on my I didn't finish School but i did go back and ge my G.E.D and I will be starting college next school year but some how people always seem to find the bad in all of this my children are very spoiled they have everything a child could every want but yet people say I to young to have 2 kids I am just a baby myself why in the world would I have two kids at such a young age. Having my children at an early age was not a plan but I wouldn't trade them for nothing is this world they are my reason for waking up every day so to all you single mothers and ladies that have the dad around but still do it alone keep your heads held high and SCREW em All they don't and most likely could never walk a mile in our shoes. I am strong minded and I know my babies are just as happy and safe and sound as they could be

Answer 4

I don't know why people do that. When I turned 18 I got married. Six months later my husband and I found out we were pregnant. I had people give me some bad looks before. I now have three kids, married, and 23 years old. I had a woman one time when I was pregnant with my first child I was in Wal-mart with my mom who has two girls and a boy who are the same as my kids. Anyway I was standing beside the cart watching my sisters why my mom was in the bathroom. This woman walked passed my then turn around and walked up to me an said are these of your children aren't you a little young. I told her no these are my sisters and this will be my first.She finally left. For the young mothers who are taking of their kids. I think that great and I do respect them . There are some that don't take care of their kids and just keep having kids or their parents are the ones raising their kids why their out partying. Insisted of taking responiably for thier own kids. I think thats why people treat them like that.

Answer 5

Young single mothers are looked down upon because everyone is stuck on the myth that every woman needs a man to take care of them or the family. In reality, in my opinion, females just as much as males can take care of the family even much more so than if a man were in the picture. Look at me, I'm 24, a registered nurse and I have one more year in earning my degree to become a pediatrician. I have a 15 month old daughter and haven't missed any of the milestones. I have been doing it on my own since the beginning, and am able to provide 3 times over for my daughter and myself. So people today just don't realize females aren't as reliant on men as they were back in the day.

Answer 6

I am a 21 year old sinlge mother of twins... the father does not help, but he likes to brag that he has twins.... I know that before I got pregnant I would look down on the VERY young mothers only because I beleived that they had no idea what they were getting themselves into or what possiblilities they had just lost. For some women and young girls that is the only thing that they want out of life... children to love and be loved by. Society doesn't understand their upbringing and therefore doesn't care... they just judge... much like I did... Although my pregnancy was planned by the father... meaning he did what he had to do to get his children... I stepped up and became the mother that these two precious little lives need... and hopefully they will grow up to make good decisions. However for the mothers who are married and younger... I beleive that they are the smart ones. When you have someone there to help and to lovingly raise the child/children, I say good for you. There is no better time to have them but in your 20's. Your energy is amazing and you can still, somewhat, remember what it was like growing up, so as to "go easy" on your little ones, I also beleive that it is more fun for the younger ones instead of seeing strictly all of the risks and dangers and responsiblities... again strictly.... we see a little more.... To all of you single mothers out there... I hear you and take up any resource you can find... it only make our jobs a little easier... and allows us to take a moment and enjoy the simple things in life.... like making our babies laugh... GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

because people are stupid. i know someone that has 5 kids
(from a marriage) that is 27 years old. The oldest just turned 9, the mom will be 28 soon. The youngest just turned 3. Her husband was abusive, so she took the kids and left. Ever since then people have given her a hard time about it. They think that she is a welfare case. Truth of it all is that the kids are for the most part behaved and she doesn't recieve any welfare besides day care because she works full time working midnights so she can with her kids during the day and evening.

Answer 8

I think that society is jealous! A young woman can raise a baby just as well if not better than a wealthy married woman, an older woman or a wealthy woman. Not only can that young woman relate to her child better but because she is a young mom she normally doesn't have a lot of money so she instills in her children all of the qualities that matter. She teaches her children that wealth is not always in the money you have but in your family and friends. A young mom is not always caught up in what society thinks but is more concerned about her child and how her child thinks about society. A young mom teaches her child about love, respect, working hard and not taking anything for granted. Most of all a young mom teaches her child strength. When things are at the worst, mom always seems to pull through and as they grow, children don't ever forget that. (I am also not speaking of the ones who don't take responsibility for there actions) I am not a single mom but i infact am married with 3 kids at the age of 25. I would never compare myself to a single mom because i too have the utmost respect for those that are out there but i will compare myself to young moms who aren't rich with money. Let me tell you from experience, what you lack in money you make up for in love.

Answer 9

I experience this also...I am 19 with 2 little girls, and single through it all. I am on welfare because there's no way in hell I would afford everything by myself....and I'm not heartless enough to murder my child (abortion). People always have something to say to me because I'm single and a young mom. Everyones situation is different, and all the women who talk crap on me have no idea what my life is really like...it's a lot of work and I agree with getting more respect than other moms. It was not my choice to be single, but I am and I make it work. And I couldnt' do it without the help of food stamps and welfare....honestly. Thank god for those progams.

Answer 10

Some people are just plain rude. No matter how old you are as a parent you are always look down upon from the outside public. Just tell your friend to keep her head up and she's doing what's best for her and her son. I had 3 kids by the time I was 23...I dont recommend it to anyone but I certainly wouldnt look down upon them. I am now 33 and I have 8 kids. I know a lot of people look down on me but my husband and I just love kids...the most common thing I get from people is this"You must be Mormons" and I politly reply "No we are not we are Italians, we like to eat and have sex" good luck