My husband and I have been together for about 8 1/2 years. The other night we were arguing and he told me that he wasn't in love with me. He loved me but wasn't in love . What should I do?
2006-06-06 11:40:05 · 22 answers · asked by mjmj0103 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ouch, I've been on your side of that conversation before. In my case it was the beginning of the end for our relationship though it took another year for it to completely dissolve. The first thing to find out is if he has moved on to another relationship. If he has then it is over and there is nothing to do but file for divorce. If not then see if he is interested in saving the relationship and will consider counseling.
2006-06-06 11:44:59 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counsiling may help. That is an old saying that I dont truely believe in. I think that people mistake the excitement of meeting and getting to know someone as being "In Love" but in actuality, or at least my opinion, there is not much of difference. If they were in love with you once, they can be in love with you again. After almsot 9 years there may be a bordom factor there. Try learning new things about each other (after 9 yrs you both have surely changed) or doing new things together.
2006-06-06 18:46:49 · answer #2 · answered by kahizinn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out what went wrong. Sounds like the two of you lost the magic along the way. Getting back into the romance and doing things that have not been done in a long time may help. Work on it now or kiss the marriage goodbye. He does not understand that love is something you realize you had after it's too late.
2006-06-06 18:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by old codger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop and cool off first. There are a whole bunch of variables here. Anger, love, commitment, children, time together and on and on. There isn't another woman here right? Take what he said with a grain of salt. Women fall in love much easier than men. Men with experience and long term relationships still doubt if they are ever in love. Just relax. He found a way to hurt you in the heat of the moment( a verbal argument )
2006-06-06 18:50:26 · answer #4 · answered by Irish 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for counseling and soon. If he has any love left for you at all it will help.(own experience here) If it's gone on too long and he really has no love left for you then it may be best to go your seperate ways. I know you dont want to hear this but Why would you want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you. If his mind is made up theres not much you can do except move on with your life and find a man who will love you the way you deserve. I wish you all the best of luck.
2006-06-06 19:14:39 · answer #5 · answered by Mia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion , if he still loves you there is a chance at fixing it.
But don't let him treat you bad and show him why you are better than anyone else. I think sometimes men say that because they
want you to change maybe one little thing that really bugs them, and they are so tired of that one little thing. Maybe you can ask your man what you can do to help fix the situation.
2006-06-06 19:10:43 · answer #6 · answered by Careerguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your husband's way of saying he is either cheating or thinking about cheating on you..He is projecting the reason for doing so on you..."I'm not in love with you"..that is his reason...You could ask him directly, or I would recommend hiring someone (a PI) to watch him, don't say a word to him about your concerns.
2006-06-06 18:52:02 · answer #7 · answered by kickingblonde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The good news is, you aren't the only woman to hear that from her spouse (although you feel that way!). See if he is willing to go to a marriage councelor. If not, it may be the beginning of the end. It happened to me, and he was gone 3 days later.
2006-06-06 18:48:38 · answer #8 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he must have said that he wasn't in love because he was mad at that time. talk to him when the time is right, when you are not arguing anymore. if the same thing, then you can not force him to love you.have to let go if there's no more love.
2006-06-06 18:50:13 · answer #9 · answered by ali 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl you need to put the spark back into the relationship buy some sexy Leandra and candles and roses and some music of your choose and get to work and don't stop there buy him cards go for walk start talking to each other communication is the key with a little romance try it IT worked for me and i got 9 years here
2006-06-06 18:47:17 · answer #10 · answered by trouble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋