Has anyone ever had the problem of speaking too complex?

Question

A lot of people think that I am talking down to them because of the way I speak. I speak in analogies, which is the best way for me to explain things. Some people understand, but others get really offended. I know for sure that if they get to know me it would be different. Is there a manual to speaking simple, or a website on simple communication? Truth is that i have traveled around the world and all the people who i associate with haven't. What do I do? They think that I think That I know everything.

Answer 1

I totally understand your problem. I share the same situtation, to a T.

Anyways, here's my thoughts:

1. Learn your audience.
2. Seek feedback from the other person - often sprinkle your conversation with the question "Am I making sense?" or "are you following me?" that way, they have a chance to clue you in on when you need to stop trying to make your point.

Somebody else posted that "You shouldn't have to change the way you speak. If they don't understand too bad. It's not your fault that you picked up some education and they didn't. Avoid simple minded people."

To some extent, I agree.

However, if you wish to improve your communication skills, your going to have to work hard at it. Beleive me, I know. My girlfriend always bitches at me for being a "know it all".

Keep in mind that sometimes people get offended at you, but really, deep down they feel flustered that they can't keep up with your wealth of knowledge, and they are really just mad at themselves for being dumb or ignorant. You become a type of measuring stick - to which they are unable to measure up. In those cases, there's not much you can do but avoid those types of people.

People who are not interested in learning, (often prideful or lazy people) tend to get irritated the most at people who are willign to learn and who enjoy teaching others. A proud person has not the humility it takes to learn. Therefore, they remain in a perpetual state of ignorance. There's nothing you can really do about that, but move on. In that case, it's not your fault.

Remember: not even God can make all of the people happy all of the time.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I don't know if there is a website on simple communication skills, although I am sure there is if you researched it. There really isn't a manual on speaking in simplistic terms, either. The key rests solely within yourself by having an awareness of how you
present yourself to others. If you know that you have offended people when you speak in analogies, then you need to be aware why this isn't the best approach. As odd as this might sound, you might want to ask them why your words offended them. If they give you an explanation, your best bet then is to apologize and say that wasn't your intention, assuming it isnt. You might also want to ask them what you might do to change this. They may be willing to share their thoughts with you, provided that you are willing to hear them. Everyone wants to feel heard, as much as they want to feel that their opinions are of value. So ask them.

Basically, you need to put yourself in another person's shoes sometimes to have a greater understanding of who you are and how you present yourself at times. Think how you might react if someone constantly felt the need to explain things to you when you, in fact, understood their intent and didn't need an analogous explanation as a follow up. You might react offensively to it because it seemed that the person thought you were stupid. Thus, you would come to think of the person as being arrogant and obnoxious, condescending and demeaning, grating and irritating. Consequently, you will dislike that person and find them to be annoying and a know it all.

Let me give an example: At work I tend to answer the phone very seriously, where I say hello or Good Morning, and then I identify myself by stating my first and last name. This is standard in my office. For the most part I think I come across as professional and polite, but apparently the women in my office have told me I sometimes have an edge in my voice when I say it. Even my husband has told me so! Contrary to what I think, I have been told I sound kind of cranky and unapproachable! Not always, just sometimes. Unapproachable? Me? I am a gentle lamb. Instead of getting angry about it, I laugh and ask them to mimic me. When I hear it, I get why I sound that way and I work hard not to sound like a cranky puss on the phone, even when I am in a bad mood! So, the key is to ask them how you sound - to get their feedback.

Answer 4

You've got to learn how to relate to your audience. Take me for example, I'm a writer of adult fiction. I would never use the F word if I were writing for kids. Learn your audience poet. I mean, why do you think Jesus spoke in simplistic parables? You say you've been around the world, well then you should have learned that you must be able to adapt to different cultures. Speaking to people isn't any different. As I've said: learn how to relate to your audience. If you need help, then go to a bookstore or a library. Believe me, they have a bunch of books on public speaking.

Aria

*The illnovelist*

Answer 5

No one knows everything about everything. Many people have an area of expertise. I tend to speak in metaphor es and love to talk about spirituality and world religions. I write poetry. Some people read my poetry and get bored because they don't get it. Others love it and want copies.

Friends should have respect for each other. I should try to ask as many questions as I answer. Because there are many topics where I am not an expert.

Answer 6

If you are so intelligent then you should'nt have trouble figuring out how to speak the same as everyone else. I used to have that problem and I still do in some senses but I have just learned to talk in a way that other ppl wont misunderstand. Its the ONLY way to eliminate this problem.
Otherwise, live with it because other ppls predjudices won't change.

Answer 7

You shouldn't have to change the way you speak. If they don't understand too bad. It's not your fault that you picked up some education and they didn't. Avoid simple minded people.

Answer 8

I understand your situation. I think, on the other hand, if you spoke "simply" to them, they may be offended as well. Then you might have the other situation where they feel like you think they wouldn't understand you if you spoke to them as you normally do. If you do tend to speak this way and you are known for it, then they will notice the difference and might be offended if you didn't act as yourself. Just my thoughts.

Answer 9

Try other ways of communicating your thoughts- for example ask a question rather than posing it in the form of a statement.

Answer 10

If they think you are talking down to them it is probably because you are responding to their statements with something that sounds like an order.

smile, listen,
If you disagree, don't jump on them. Don't say negative words like "no"
or tell them what to do.

Listen...listen...listen..

It is probably that you ARE talking down to them without realizing it.

There was a weekend course I took in Cambridge Mass once. It was called the "conversation" course. It was great for something like this. Perhaps there is something in your area similar.