When do you give up on a marriage with kids?

Question

Here's more to the story....I've been married for over 20 years...We have a business together...I moved out here to be with him....The life I left is so different than the one I'm living now.....
He has been emotional abusive on and off for over 12 years....but I don't know when to let go....

Answer 1

You didn't say why you've asked ...
So, I'm assuming that you are wondering if you should stay in your marriage ...
I think you'll probably find the help you need to weigh the pros & cons, in the following articles. They've helped Lots of folks (including myself), so I am confident in suggesting them to you:

http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2001/1/8/article_01.htm
Can We Save Our Marriage?;
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1999/7/15a/article_01.htm
Wholesome Communication - A Key to a Good Marriage;
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2002/4/15/article_01.htm
Empathy--Key To Kindness and Compassion;
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2005/6/1/article_01.htm
When Marital Disagreements Arise;
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2003/9/15/article_01.htm
The Bible Can Help You to Strengthen Your Marriage;
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/1999/4/22/article_01.htm
When a Mate is Unfaithful :
...Infidelity - Its Tragic Consequences
...Is Reconciliation Possible?
...The Option of Divorce
...Why Some Stay Together
...Who Is Responsible?
...Children Do Not Deserve Divorce
...Does God Hate All Divorce? ;
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/5/8a/article_01.htm
Why View Marriage as Sacred?

Of course you know that Every situation is different.
No one can decide for you, either way. that's a very hard choice to have to make. But I can say that everyone I know that have considered the Bible-based articles (above) & appleied what they learned, have been satisfied that they did their best ... whatever the outcome has been for them. Even when they received no cooperation or support from their mate.
https://watch002.securesites.net/contact/submit.htm
To Request More Information or a Free Home Bible Study.
http://www.ebible.org/bible/ASV/index.htm
The American Standard Version of the Holy Bible

Answer 2

Staying together for the sake of the kids is not good in most cases. The kids know more than you give them credit for most likely. If the marriage is over try to end it on friendly terms, that is for the sake of the kids. Involve them in the process to a point so they dont feel like they are losing both parents.

Answer 3

Humm,
That is a hard question to answer without the details. I would say there are really only two reasons to give up on marriage.

1. Abuse of any type, that has been identified and nothing done about it.
2. You simply do not love the person anymore and you know you never will.

Answer 4

Just imagine how you would handle the problems in your marriage if there were no such thing as divorce. Think about that really hard. You made a covenant with your wife/husband and God when you married him/her. Are your problems really worth throwing that away. Is there anything else you can do to help the situation?? Sometimes it's good to think about what you can do for your spouse instead of about what they don't do for you. If it is a really horrible situation then get your kids out of that.

Answer 5

as you probbably have been told you shpuld sayt in it for the kids that is dead wrong,the minute you fall out of love with your wife /husbund and there is no more relationship and you think it cant be overturned then you leave,your kids are better off with two parents that are not together and can be civil and get on with there lives possibly in new loving relationships than a relationship that is toxic and your kids suffer and dont forget your kids see everything they learn what they are shown ,you know in your heart what to do,i know you think about your kids but primarily you need to be taken care of and thought of to be taking good care of your kids and to make the right decisions show them you know how to do that

Answer 6

Girl, you've been with him 20 years and you also have his kids and he got the d*** nerve to disrespect you. enough is enough. you have given this man everything and he does not appreciate nothing you've done in the last past "20 years" because if did he wouldn't dare speak to you so bad. I know you can do better , because it takes a strong woman to deal with a man like that so long. do your self a favor for once and let him go.

Answer 7

When all you do is fight and can't stand to be in the same room together. This is when you call it quits. Try going to marriage counseling. If your spouse refuses then this would be a good indicator that the marriage is over also.

Answer 8

When there is emotional and physical abuse. Anything else, in my opinion can be worked out some way through counseling and good communication!

Answer 9

well its hard especially on the kids. i kno how that feels. my parents split when i was 8 years old. and it wasnt easy then but then the kids get used to it. some even like it cause they get double presents and everything like that but from experience its not easy. but i guess talk about it and see how u guys feel about it and how it will affect the kids

Answer 10

Ask yourself, is it healthy for the kids to witness the emotional abuse? Are you happy? Can they sense your not happy?