what should i do if my husband doesnt want 2 go b-cuz he feels he has to live wit a family member i dont want 2 i already want r own place i'm 18 i want 2 get a job but he wont let me cuz i'm pregnant and no one will hire me.
2006-06-06 10:26:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It depends on why he won't leave this family member. If your husband has a valid reason not to move, that is one thing. But if he is just using that as an excuse not to move in with you, that is something completely different.
When you marry someone then you get their family members, fights, debts, problems and all. If your husband has a valid reason for not leaving his family member then you may have to be the better person. You may have to live with that family member. Perhaps you can convince your husband to move somewhere near to family, that way he can check on them and you still get your own place. Or you may be able to find a place with enough room for all of you. Somewhere that you can start over together, you, your husband, and his family.
If your husband is using his family members as an excuse then you have a problem. There are plenty of reasons he could be doing this. I won't speculate. You may need to find someone to talk to him with you or for you. A possible list includes, your parent, your pastor, your counsler (I'm thinking school), your best friend, his best friend, his parent, siblings, or even, the family member he is using as an excuse.
Whether or not you get a place on your own depends on your finaces. If you can afford a place on your own then go ahead and do it. Just remember not to move to far away. As a single parent you'll need all the help you can get.
I know that having a child is a very difficult and stressful thing. I think you should hold off on moving, by yourself, until after your child is born. This should enable you to find a job and daycare and then to save the money for your deposit, etcetera.
Good Luck
2006-06-06 10:47:59 · answer #1 · answered by nightbloomingrose 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a real hard question, and I'm not gonna be able to give you any answers but thught some pointers could help atleast!
: tell your boy friend that says he feels he has to live with a family member, that you are his family member. And he should take his part of the responsability in helping you out and try work together.
: I've gone to a boarding school pretty much my whole life and at his age I'm v.sure he'd be able to be without his mommy and daddy, besides, you guys can visit often if you live close by which I think could be a great idea.
: all the best! hope stuff works out for you to!
2006-06-06 17:34:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old is he? While he may not have the money right now to buy a house, surely you can rent? My suggestion is wait till the baby is born, you only have a few months to go and any help you can get right now is not a bad thing. Plus, your husband is probably worried about money for the second child. After that, stress how crowded the house is with two kids, you two and grandparents around. Do some research and present some options for both houses and apartments in his money range. Talk about why it is important to you and the kids, and make sure he knows that you are not trying to alienate his family. Infact, look for some places that are near his parent's house. Best of luck to you !
2006-06-06 17:32:34 · answer #3 · answered by manderstwin1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People will hire you, it's illegal for them to discriminate, BUT your life will change so much after you have the baby that you may not want to go back to work. Also, if it's a job where you're on your feet all of the time on hard concrete floors, it could end up causing you some unwanted pain and preterm labor.
Remember to pray for your husband and ask God to show him what to do so that you all can stay in agreement and have what you both want and need.
God can and will do this for you if you trust Him.
I know how it is to be an adult living with relatives, and, in my opinion, this could become too stressful and affect the baby negatively, also.
So, in Jesus' Name, I pray that God help you all and show His favor and mercy on your behalf.
2006-06-06 17:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by BizMomof3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can afford it you should definitely get your own place, it is time for him to grow up, it is not fair to his parents when he has 2 kids and is still sponging off them and it is not fair to you that you cannot raise your children in the environment that you chose. If money is the issue then you can get government help for rent, down payments, utility deposits and childcare, have him go with you to talk to a social worker and discuss the best options available for your family.
2006-06-06 17:58:31 · answer #5 · answered by greeneyedprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell that person not to hold onto Mommys apron strings anymore. Tell him to grow up and be a man. You guys gotta live out on your own..with your own family.
2006-06-06 17:30:11 · answer #6 · answered by daddydoggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell you think that it would be a very good idea to move out. About the job thing... just tell him to stop controling you and you want a job so go out and get one!
2006-06-06 19:23:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your own place... go with it. He will not be able to stand it that you are not with him and he will follow... and if not, you will know that he is never going to grow up.
2006-06-06 17:30:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all lil ***** need to grow up and make sure his toddler a** got a good enough job to take care of u, ya'll kids and himself and to help out both of ya'll parents just in case of emergency.
2006-06-06 17:32:35 · answer #9 · answered by lil iesha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't really to answer your duestion but you answered one of my questons and I had another question for you? COuld you email me at kayla_ann_simmons @yahoo.com
2006-06-06 20:46:35 · answer #10 · answered by kayla_ann_simmons 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋