The Neighbor
You were the neighbor,just right down the road.
We were just kids, and you did not know.
How I did try to just get a glimpse of those beautiful eyes.
But I was so shy.
My brothers taunted and teased me, till I was begging on my knees.
This made me so shy that all I ever felt was deep,silent crys.
When saw you I would hide, with tears rolling out of my eyes.
I was afraid of rejection, Afraid that you would think of me as
"stupied"and i would be a outcast in your eyes.
The years slipped away and you never knew, how I really felt for you.
Soon, to soon we moved away. It tore my heart out, deep in to the roots of my very soul.
Why did I not just tell you how I really felt?
Now five hundred miles away, I lay in my pain,fear and my own doubt.
But why?
2006-06-06 09:51:53 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
im 13 !!! :)
2006-06-06 09:52:04 · update #1
its a beautiful poem
10/10
you have a talent my darling
pursue it!
Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish
2006-06-06 09:55:00 · answer #1 · answered by kiss2envy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your poetry changes as you have more experience and get older. It's something you should keep doing because you have a lot of creativity. Keep a journal of all the things you've written. I still have stuff from way back but not the very first things. I wish I would have saved those too. You'll go back and see how your style and content changes and it's pretty cool to watch that happen.
2006-06-06 09:57:29 · answer #2 · answered by tshnobodysfool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR 13! Exaclty... there will be plenty more people to catch your attention. The most important thing is that you learn from your mistake, and remember how you feel now, if you remember the pain it will make you strive to avoid feeling like this ever again, and can give you courage. 500 miles whoa to far for long distance, but over time you will heal and before you know it you will like someone again, just dont repeat your mistakes, speak up, and speak out.
2006-06-06 09:59:46 · answer #3 · answered by Always right 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i think of the poem? I like it but you need to check your spelling. Those are very deep feeling for someone that is 13. You go girl!
2006-06-06 09:55:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good, However to improve dont repeat the same words, you have used eyes three times. Try to use a metaphor for eyes instead.
2006-06-06 09:58:02 · answer #5 · answered by ian m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is awesome! i m 13 and i couldn't write anything like that. i also feel like i m going through the same thing w/ my crush. it now has given me an insight of what i m gonna feel if i don't tell him. that really was an awesome poem. u should enter it into a poetry contest. u'd totally win.
2006-06-06 09:56:44 · answer #6 · answered by lucky13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's beautiful - you are extremely talented dear.
"Silent crys" should be CRIES
Should it be "When I saw you, I would hide"?
"Stupied" should be STUPID
"Soon, to soon" should be SOON, TOO SOON
Sorry, I just HAD to do that, don't blame me, I have editing in my past..he he he
That's a great poem though, you should be very proud of yourself.
2006-06-06 09:57:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is very good for 13. Keep it up.
2006-06-06 09:55:10 · answer #8 · answered by allknowing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it a story or a poem?
It is really sad and i feel the pain.
I LOVE IT.
Dude./dudette
Keep on writing.
It was sweet.
2006-06-06 09:56:03 · answer #9 · answered by Rawrnonymous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep on writing
2006-06-06 09:57:01 · answer #10 · answered by embai@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋