what you did to me
I have loved you all my life.
Since the day we first met, I loved you,
You were my hope, my dreams,my love.
For months all I did was dream about you.
I saw your face in every cloud ,and herd your voice in every whisper.
Your deep mysterious eyes were all I ever thought of.
We met each other from time to time.
Months passed by and our friend ship grew,
I counted down the days till I could be with you.
Soon I called you mine.
The years went by,and your love for me faded.
Your deep miserious eyes were no longer a mystery,
but soon becoming a nightmare.
For now the love was hate, there was no depth,
nor love in your once tender eyes.
Only hate,fire and rage possessed your once loving eyes.
I was then all black and blue just for loving you.
I dreaded that look of anger in your eyes,
now haunting me in every shadow.
I herd your screams in every howl of wind with shriek and cry's.
You tore my heart in to peaces, but I could not help loving you.
I called you "mine", you called me "worlthles".
I held your hand and tried to help you up , but you riped it away.
Now those days are over , and so is your life.
But why do I still love you? thought all the hate,all the pain and all the scars.
I still love you just the same.
Even now that you are gone from me, out of my reach for ever
2006-06-06 09:50:43 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
im 13 :) do ya like it ?
2006-06-06 09:52:37 · update #1
I really like it. Good job!
2006-06-06 09:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from a "teachers" perspective - first - you need to frame your poem in a more readable, visionary discipline. The way people read poems help them to understand the poet's point of view. Also,it helps with the "flow" of how you read. (where you want the reader to pause, stop, etc.) What you 'see' on the page is important. Second, and this might be first - make sure you spell your words correctly, unless you have a specific type of poem that is supposed to create diversion by the misspelling of words. Other than that, you're on a roll!! Keep at it.
2006-06-06 16:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quite a few spelling errors, but the poem does have some depth and good use of images.
If this is really the story of your life, I hope you never get into another abusive relationship. My sister in law is a moron magnet. She gets out of an abusive relationship, only to get into a more abusive one. Recently the guy actually tried to LITERALLY BREAK HER NECK by twisting her head. He spent the night in jail, apologized and now she's back with him.
I will never understand why these women are so stupid to stay with these types of men!
herd = a group of animals
heard = past tense of "to hear"
2006-06-06 17:00:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very well done. I would have to say that this took a lot of time and a lot of lessons learned. Take this to heart and remember the words always. Never accept less than what you recive. Someone is out there to give you everything that you ever hoped or dreamed of and more. Best of Luck and Kudos I liked it
2006-06-06 16:58:20 · answer #4 · answered by Leo Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's really good. especially for only 13! don't give up on poertry! you might be able to persue a career in it someday! you're really good at it too! this poem has great emotion and it sounds like it took you a while to put all of this together! keep up the good work!
2006-06-06 16:54:54 · answer #5 · answered by honeiibunz09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have a big heart. It sounds as tho you were abused. The person gone was a very lucky person to have you to love them. To bad it wasn't given back. I would say you are expressing your feelings to heal. You will find someone who will love you. Please don't settle for anything less than someone being good to you. God bless you.
2006-06-06 16:58:14 · answer #6 · answered by sandra g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I like it a lot. Its really emotional and seems to sum up your feelings. Its also sad if you were that badly hurt. Hope you find someone who is worthy of you one day!
2006-06-06 16:56:02 · answer #7 · answered by skybound767 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's sad, being a poet myself i would say you have great talent for a 13 year old and keep writing. this poem hit me where it hurts
2006-06-06 16:54:48 · answer #8 · answered by HAWK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a look that came from inside u its real deep and some justified **** thats the best ****** poem i read all damn day
2006-06-06 16:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by j.man101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a very deep poem but it is very good
2006-06-06 16:52:35 · answer #10 · answered by Bowwow's Baby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋