If you are a married individual, I need your true and honest opinion. I have been married for three years and I slept with another guy about three weeks ago. I totally regret ever having an affair or contact with this guy and my concience is eating me up with guilt. I love my husband very much and I don't want to hurt him. Do you think it is a good idea to tell him about the affair or should I take it to the grave? I don't plan on having any further contact with that individual, it was just a one night thing. HELP PLEASE!
2006-06-06 08:42:38 · 17 answers · asked by ez2luvtyb 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Are you religious? First and foremost you have to be truthful with yourself when you say that you regret it and it will never happen again. Then, you will have to ask God for forgiveness. If you and your husband are religious, you should be able to tell him, explain why (to the best of your ability and hope he understands or relates) and you have to ASK HIM TO FORGIVE YOU. The bible says if you ask him to forgive you then he is supposed to. God forgives you, then he shall too. BUT, that doesn't mean that he wont reciprocate, retaliate or hold it against you. He might forgive but not forget. It depends on WHO YOU ARE MARRIED TO! Only you know your husband. If he is not religious then ask God to forgive you and take it to the grave.
2006-06-07 04:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I am on the other end of this story. I asked if he was having an affair, I am the type of person that would want to know. Some people says don't tell the innocent party, that you are just trying to ease your quilty concience. I think you should tell, because he proably all ready suspects. I knew something was going on, and not knowing what it was, was worse for me than finding out that it had. Look long and hard at why this happened, because if you love your husband so much how could this had happened. If your were drunk, don't drink. If you were out by yourself and feeling lonely you need to really talk to your husband. Something is going on whether you want to admit it or not, and you are going to have to deal with the results. And unfortunately that maybe divorce. I wish you good luck, and if you truly love your husband don't let this happen again, because a one night stand lasts only one night, and marriage is a life time.
2006-06-06 08:53:46 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This realy is your decision - it could go bad/good either way you decide to go. Can you live with the guilt for the rest of your life? It's probably better for you and the overall situation if you told the truth - but be prepared for your hubby to be very hurt, angry, and upset with you. Not to mention it's going to take some time to get his trust back. Keep in mind you are the one who had the one nighter and him being upset is perfectly ok.
Getting things out in the open and clearing the air now will help your relationship move on in a health direction with no secrets. Talk to him about why you feel you did it, tell him how sorry you are, and how you regret it. Offer to go to marriage counseling - which will help you both through this ordeal.
2006-06-06 08:53:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok not to be cruel but why did you slept with this other if you love your husband. Now I had an affair on mine but we are having marital probs & I can't stand his guts. He doesn't know I slept with someone else nor will he ever. Every woman can have her secrets. But your situation is different. You say you love him. Ok, then maybe you should first figure out why you slept with this other guy? Then if you truely love your husband then I think you should tell him after you know for sure why you did what you did. I am sorry for what you are going through. Good luck.
2006-06-06 08:52:04 · answer #4 · answered by chellebeth75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont say anything. Ever hear of the phrase what you dont know cant hurt you. Live it. Dont ruin your whole marriage over one little mistake. You will regret that forever. I dont know if you watch Sex and the City but theres an episode when Carrie cheated on Aiden and she told him and he said I just wish I never knew about this. Its true! Dont tell him!
2006-06-06 09:39:48 · answer #5 · answered by lovelyone707 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT TELL HIM. Why do women always want to tell. That is going to hurt him and ruin your relationship. He then might feel the need to get even. If you are sorry and arent planning to do it again then just make it up to him. Sexy dinners, backrubs, sexy text messages. Whatever you do. DONT TELL HIM. I have been on both sides of that and believe me neither I nor him, appreciated the honesty the pain is unbearable and honestly I think about cheating on him all the time. It hurts even after two years passed. DONT TELL HIM
2006-06-06 08:50:19 · answer #6 · answered by janet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to take it to your grave. Chances are your husband will not forgive you. But watch out though because you will pay back some day. Maybe not the same way but you will feel a little of it........sad but true...sorry!!
2006-06-06 08:47:10 · answer #7 · answered by yo_010180 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hurt him? You already did. And that saying "What he don't know won't hurt", is bull****! You need to sit him down and tell him and if that ends your relationship then so be it. He will eventually find out because I will bet that you will eventually tell on yourself or you will become suspicious of him just because of what you did. And that will cause you more problems.
2006-06-06 09:02:48 · answer #8 · answered by florie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suggest you tell him rather than him finding out.it might take the weight off yur conscience.tell him what you specified in yur question you know,about it being a one time thing and the other stuff about you and yur husband's relationship.just don't admit it to him on television.oh yeah,and tell him yur sorry and you regret ever doing it.tell me how it works out,hope it works out good!
2006-06-06 08:51:25 · answer #9 · answered by oreosluver1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRUTH IS YOU CAN ASK ANYONE YOU WONT BUT IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HAVE. I WOULD WANT MY HUBBY TO TELL ME, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND I DONT KNOW IF I COULD TELL HIM IF I DID. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES I FORGAVE MY HUBBY FOR CHEATING ON ME. IF YOU ARE GONNA TELL HIM DONT WAIT.........BUT BE PREPARED FOR THE LONG ROAD YOU HAVE AHEAD OF YOU. HE WONT BE THE SAME FOR A WHILE BUT MARRIAGE IS HARD AND IF YOU LOVE HIM AND HE LOVES YOU...............YOU CAN OVERCOME ANYTHING THAT YOU ARE FACED WITH. GOOD LUCK
2006-06-06 09:11:30 · answer #10 · answered by mrsurgtech09 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋