Help BKOKEN Up!!!?

Question

10 moths back had to end a 5 year relationship.She was okay and one fine day, while i was abroad in Australia, decided she wanted out, no reason given.To varous people ( my mum, her mum) she has given other reasons.For me once it was, i dont have to give you a reason, other time, I never loved you, i only pitied you ( 5 years she satyed coz of pity?).But my gut feeling is she met some one else
So i came home, to resolve it, as hard as i can, she never once met me, just calls.So finally i let her go, with pure blessings.hardest deed i ever did in my late 20s life.I still dont undertand how she could do that to me...I have tries to contact her or make any connections with her since i let her free 7 months ago.
my soule is still filled sadness, not that i want her back or anything.But it hurts inside.She comes to my head.I really havent been able to like some one esle either...
how long will it take for me?..what's the longest tim to recover fomr a brekaup?..she was my 1st

This persistent sad lonliness persists.I really want her out of her system.After all she didnt love me a bit.I feel so used.But i am not angry at her.
I need to move on....after all this time what keeping me..pushing me to her?..

Any experiances, ideas and support is more than welcome.
if some one like to chat or mail pls do.
[e-mail]

I hate living like this.

Answer 1

it's hard to say what u should do after being with someone for so long u come too count on them and u think yr life is over and how can u go on with out them in your life its hard. i fell the same as you do why, u do need 2 know why if ever u want 2 chat or talk 2 a friend do it it well be good for you . i wish i had someone i could talk too cause talking to my family is just a no no good luck

Answer 2

I have been though the same situation, however, sometimes you have to just let go. Go out and enjoy yourself. Just because she thought you weren't the one doesn't mean that others will think the same thing. There has to be something pretty special about you if you guys stayed together so long in the first place. I suggest taking this time to get to know yourself to figure out what YOU want to do with your life. You are the only one that can make you happy. You will have to one day just realize this is not how you want to live your life. Being alone sometimes hurts, but it is the best thing. don't go looking for another relationship. Mend your heart first. Pick up an activity that you might have abandoned. There was a reason you liked it before.

Answer 3

U need to spend time occuping urself in other places that does not remind u of her. I know this can be hard because she is ur first and obviously U love her more than she loves u. U r right to not date yet because U r not ready yet U will be using someone else to rid ur mind of her, U need a hobby. U have to clear ur mind, soul and body of her so that U can be ur best to ur next love. Love is strange but it shouldn't hurt. it takes hard work but not just for u but both. trust and believe the first love is not the best love U will have in ur life, there is others. No sonner u have forgotten U will love someone else when U didn't even notice..Love can sneak up on u, and U will still think U r stuck on ur first love if U don't be careful. good luck and try hard not to think of her. Want someone who loves U as much as U Love them.

Answer 4

Don't listen to people who say move on and forget. If they haven't went through it they can't tell you what to do. I found out my boyfriend of 7yrs. cheated and I left him. He begged me to come back and I did. I'm now pregnant with our first child and he is dating another woman with 2 kids. It will hurt like hell for a long time. She did love you. Try not to think about all the good or bad times, just keep busy with yourself and make sure she hasn't ruined you for the person who you were meant to be with. My childs father says he will always love me and even though he is with her, he will never forget me. What gets me by is to know that i won't have that problem bc i will move on and never feel that way bc of what he did......

Answer 5

Me and you both brother, I am coming out of a 5 year relationship myself. He was my first and his father broke us up, he didn't want us together. You are grieving and it is going to take some time. There is no one-day getting over this thing. You just have to learn to deal with it. There is no formula to help you learn either, it all depends on you. Try to keep busy to take your mind off of it. Also try to see how many positives lessons can come out of this situation to help you in future relationships. Concentrate on the good things.

NB. Firsts are hard to get over, you will learn to get through it because there is no getting over your 'first'.

Answer 6

Not until you have closure on this one. If you keep dwelling on the past, you will never be happy. What you have to ask yourself, or maybe another lady that's close to you, what are your faults? You need to say to yourself, "Self! I am not a perfect man." Make yourself a better man, not for the ladies, but for yourself. Once you know you're a better man, standing proud, then you will find closure. Then other women will find you a better man. You will never forget, but to forgive is divine.

Answer 7

she didn't do it out of pitty. she was nothing herself. she needed you more but wont say that because she is a self centered bytch. i know that it hurts but the one who throws slander is the one that hurts the most. she hasn't met up with you because she iether has someone or done something bad, and can't face you. she must want you to hate her. if it was simple she would have for sure told her own mum.

Answer 8

who cares about her you have to move on with your life your probably a handsome guy and a nice personanlity if shes just goin to dump u and say she doesnt have to have a reason theres probably another guy and shes probably been sleeping with him 5yrs is a long time but i dont know if you could keep her that long out of "pitty" she mustve had to like you cuz if she didnt she must like wastin her time on guys she doesnt like if you cant move on try talkin to someone get out there try and get a date maybe someday you'll find mrs. right but dont worry bout that stupid chik move on its the best thing to do

Answer 9

love is a hard thing to get over...i would say don't worry about her if she says that she was only with you for pity then obviously she didn't love you at all and there is no sense in dwelling over her

Answer 10

Sounds like your depressed, maybe you need some professional help to sort this out and move on.