I've been knowing this guy for the last 3 and a half years and we've had a sexual relationship for 3 of those years. And at one point we were together for about 5 months. He's been with his girlfriend for 4 years. Now we decided to get back involved sexually only. So that means no kissing or hugging just freaking. Now he wants to kiss me, hold me, and hug me before and after sex. We still sleep together every week like 4 times a week. I don't want to be with him. We tried and it didn't work, but the sex is great. I know that he wants more, but I don't I just want the sex. I feel that if we start kissing and hugging that it will lead to him having feelings for me again and I don't want to go down that road with him again. I ended it once before and he went crazy calling me, driving by house, and coming up to my school. I don't think he can handle it, but it needs to end. Should I end it now before things get worse?
2006-06-06 07:21:59 · 42 answers · asked by BrownSuga26 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You can say that I'm a slut or whore but whatever. I had the samething happen to me and you're right it feels horrible and I hated it, but I beat her *** and his*** first though. I'm being honest maybe you hoes should try it. Don't be mad, because you don't the guts to tell anybody because you know you did it or is doing it too. I'm putting it out there because I wanted to know what people thought. But thank you for all your advice and I'll take the slut and whore commits too much appreciated!!!!! Love
2006-06-06 08:24:06 · update #1
Yes it is wrong.
It's wrong because you obviously know the difference between right and wrong or you wouldn't be asking us...So in your heart you know that your actions are causing harm to the other girl.
First off if he would do this to her, then he would do it to you...and who says he's not? Do you really want to get pregnant by this guy or catch a disease from him? What sort of father do you think he would be to your child? What makes you think he's not going to cheat on you....or better yet, isn't he already cheating on you?
Bottom line, he's a jerk and you can do MUCH better!
I think you should call his GF and tell her. Wouldn't you wanna know if your BF was cheating on your or would you rather sit wondering? I feel really really bad for his GF. What if he comes home with a disease and she'd have no clue.
At least you know what's going on...his poor GF has no idea! Leave him, tell her and find youself a better man.
You need to evaluate yourself and figure out why you would settle for such a low life in the first place.
If he was a REAL man he would have ditched her before ever starting a relationship with you. It just proves him to be scum and if you keep seeing him, that makes you scum too!
BTW it's called a restraining order. Get one from the cops and keep him out of your life, away from you and your home. Get rid of him now before this gets worse!
2006-06-06 07:23:51 · answer #1 · answered by Corn_Flake 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you pretty much know what you need to do. OK so we've established one thing which is he's a good lay. How could you not have stopped this when you found out he had a gf ? You know how he is as far as calling you, following you so why would even have anything to do with him. If you can't handle a friendship then you shouldn't talk to him at all. All your doing is unintentionally leading him on to believe that he might have a chance. So maybe you don't let him kiss, hug, or hold you BIG FREAKING DEAL. The fact is he still gets what he wants. You should end this now before things turn to the worst. There's plenty of guys out in this world why would you go for one that has a gf, and one that is so obsessive as he is. I'm pretty sure he isn't the only great lay in this world. Let him go! Find yourself someone who can like and love you for you. Who you can have something more than just sex with.
2006-06-06 07:29:58 · answer #2 · answered by Mia A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, end it now. It's really not fair for the his girlfriend. I could see getting it on if you were both single, but she's really the only one that wil get hurt in all this. Just sit back and think...if you had been with this same guy for 4 years, and you JUST found out that he has been seeing/sleeping with someone else for 3 of those years, how would you feel?? He shouldn't be with her if he wants you, and you shouldn't just be sleeping with him. Who cares if the sex is great. I'm sure him having a girlfriend was a good reason why your relationship with him didn't work out so great. End it now, and start dating someone you have feelings for.
2006-06-06 07:27:43 · answer #3 · answered by MentalCaseMaggot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your sake and for his girlfriend you need to end it. If he goes "crazy" again talk to your parents and have them help you place a restraining order against him. But that would mean no more contact with him on your part. The fact that you knew he goes crazy and then got involved with him again shows a lack of standing up for youself.
Think of his girlfriend - it's not fair to her.
Plus you deserve a boyfriend who is going to pay attention to you and want to be with you. Not someone who is using you. Even if you think you have the upper hand of this situation by not cuddling - you don't He has the best of both worlds!
He gets to sleep with you and then he has a girlfriend too - That's every man's dream.
Time to end it before it continues. Give yourself a little more credit.
2006-06-06 07:26:54 · answer #4 · answered by OohLaLa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most deffinately, he is only going to become even more attached to you, because if you say that he is capable of being the "stalker" type like how he was in the past, who is to know what he'll do if he felt even more for you!
Furthermore, I mean why waste your time with a taken man anyways? The sex may be great but there is also some girl out there who has no idea that her boyfriend of the past 4 years is sleeping with someone else, YOU! Why be that kind of person? I mean I am sure you wouldn't want the same thing to happen to you right?
I suggest that you find yourself a new **** buddy there are plenty out there that you may even probably be more compatible with, and who knows...maybe a relationship could happen? Don't waste your time with this fella, he is trouble...and you know it! He'll have to deal with you breaking it off, I mean even use that you are going to go and tell his girlfriend what is going on if he doesn't agree with you...hey it might even work..
Good luck!
2006-06-06 07:29:04 · answer #5 · answered by micheypoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stop. I have thos co-worker I can't stand. She's always bitching about how much men are cheaters. In the time I've worked here, I've known her to be having sex with two different guys that she knew he had a girlfriend. I don't understand why women complain about men cheating, I don't see how girls being with men they know are taken are any better.
2006-06-06 07:25:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have created what is known as a false dilemma. You are looking at a problem selfishly and immaturely; thus, you are overlooking the obvious option. You are using phrases like "even though it is wrong" and "before things get worse" ~ so you must know that the situation is wrong but you are creating a false dilemma for yourself that is prolonging a conflicting relationship. You need to look beyond this situation and ask yourself "what would I really like to do?" Which we all know that you want to move on~now THINK of all the things that you could do to move beyond this situation before the conflict amplies out of control. You have the answer already so why are you prolonging the situation? Remember when one door closes, another opens~so close the door and find a relationship that would better suit you and be more beneficial in a healthy way.
"Those who know they do not know
Gain wisdom.
Those who pretend they know
Remain ignorant.
Those who acknowledge their weakness
Become strong.
Those who flaunt their power
Will lose it."
2006-06-06 07:33:21 · answer #7 · answered by soplaw2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you need to end this affair. You are going to cause a lot of problems if the girlfriend finds out. This is the kind of thing that drive people mad and hurt or kill someone. Get out before it's too late.
2006-06-06 07:28:58 · answer #8 · answered by ccharleston81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun just because U know him or have known him for years does not mean U have to sleep with him. He is slum and really he doesn't know what he wants.As for right now he thinks the grass is greener on the other side. soon he will have u and he is already aware u will sleep around with or without a man if you will do it with him knowing he is involved. He will make u think it is all about U ( because I see he has ur nose wide open..thinking he can't live without U) have u willing and ready to love him and be sleeping around with someone else. it is bound to happen because what goes around comes around. U r seting urself up for failure. let the whore out and tell him there are more fish in the sea.
2006-06-06 07:37:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit playing with men. Even though they are men. They still deserve respect. You are playing with someone's emotions. Don't be stupid anymore. You already new how he acted. Yet, you still continued. You deserve what you get. Next time I hope you think a little more about the person and not just sex.
2006-06-06 07:24:50 · answer #10 · answered by kitty kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋