Ive been married for 5 years now and my mother-in-law is constantly putting her nose in where it doesnt belong. She bellittles me and says hurtful things to me when my husband is not around. We also have a 2 yr old son who she barely has anything to do with. She plays favorites with my husbands brothers children. My husband wont confront her about it...whenever I confront her she's just nasty to me. What to do? Please help??
2006-06-06 07:15:42 · 15 answers · asked by Mia 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that its on your husband to establish that YOU, not his mother, are the most important woman in his life. If he doesnt, he pretty much establishes that SHE is the most important woman in his life. He cant be passive and allow you all to fight each other, he has to set the pecking order.
2006-06-06 07:21:38 · answer #1 · answered by boomerang3que 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can't say that my advice is right, but it works for me. I'm in the same boat. We've been married for 5 years and have 2 kids, (3 & 4) and my mother-in-law is constantly telling me what I need to do. I always just go along and say "Yea, we'll think about that" or "I'll talk to my husband about that". And sometimes I may entertain her ideas but most of the time I ignore them. I always try to be very pleasant with her and act like I really am concerned with her input, when i really don't give a rats a**. And I rarely talk to my husband about her. Even though he would probably agree with me 99% of the time, she is still his mother and he will always love her no matter how she is to me or my kids. Which speaking of kids, she has nothing to do with them. She will tell people all day long it is because "I" never come to her house. It's never because she doesn't come down here. When the truth is we go to see her at least once a month, or when time will allow. She lives about 30 or 45 minutes away. But I can count on one hand how many times she's been to our house. But once again, I just keep my peace and turn the other cheek so to speak. I just keep in mind that no matter what she says or does to me or my family I only have to deal with her for a couple of hours and then shes gone. Hope I've been some kind of help.
2006-06-06 07:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by Wanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, Have you ever seen the movie Monster In Law?
Sounds like your life played out in a movie.
Just kindly let her know that she has raised her kids and you don't remember you being one of them, or go to your husband and talk with him and let him know she is not welcomed in your home if she can't respect you because no matter what he is a husband before all others and you are the queen of your castle and what you say should be agreed with and that's that.
2006-06-06 07:22:07 · answer #3 · answered by Lovely b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are all mother-in-laws the same way?! i had trouble with mine too sweetie and we had it out one day. i told her off so good. which is exactly what u need to do. once u stand up for yourself, she'll see that u do have guts and are not afraid of speaking up for yourself. just cuz she's your husband's mother doesn't give her the right to walk over u. and it doesn't mean u can't say what's on ur mind to her. show her that ur not going to take her crap. as long as you're quiet about it, she'll continue to do it. and tell ur husband to have ur back!! it's not about his mom's feelings, it's about yours. that's what i did, and now, his mom and are closer than i thought we would be after all. and guess what, after a few weeks, SHE apologized first. just do what u have to do.
2006-06-06 07:31:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her all the time act like she isn't even around and be yourself as if she really wasn't around and when you have to talk to her kill her with kindness just like AMBER M said they CAN'T STAND that. Cuz theres nothing they can do and it makes them look like an a*s*s. Don't worry about her picking favorites and having a relationship with your son who cares why would you want him around a person like that. He might just pick up her bad traits, or if you can move away from her. Don't pay attention to her most ppl like that just don't like themselves and are jealous.
2006-06-06 07:36:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is up to your husband to deal with his mother, it took my husband 5 year to finally tell his mother that i was his wife whether she liked it or not and that i wasn't going anywhere and to start being nicer to me, things have gotten better since, but by you confronting her you are just making it worse it is up to him so get on his tail about it
2006-06-06 07:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell hubby it's time to move 300 miles ort more away from his mother. If he wants to join you it's ok and if he doesn't, call a lawyer.
what she is doing is called passive agressive behavior. This rates right up there with child abuse and shouldn't be tolerated. maybe she has her son trained and now she wants custody of the little one (to screw up too).
get away from her or send her far far away.
2006-06-06 07:19:28 · answer #7 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just steer clear of her and stay with your husband. you are not married to her you are married to you husband... Do not go around her without your husband around either. Do not go and see her if your husband wont stand up for you either!
2006-06-06 07:22:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well stay away from her. Why would you want to be around people like her and mostly for you son. Do you want your son to learn that kind of behavior? the best thing is stay away. Good luck
2006-06-06 07:18:50 · answer #9 · answered by esperanza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get your mom to confront you mother in law
2006-06-06 07:17:01 · answer #10 · answered by Pandora Tommorow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋