If yes, then good for you, if No, what's the big deal? I think it's an honor to take on the name of the man whom you have chosen to spen the rest of your life with.
2006-06-06 06:56:33 · 16 answers · asked by ladysea8 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I didn't change my name. I just didn't think I needed to change it for him. It wasn't a big deal for either one of us. He didn't care..my kids actually have both our last names and they are just hyphenated. ITs just a matter of preferance for both parties.
2006-06-06 07:05:33 · answer #1 · answered by SKITTLES 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Not a woman, but I can tell you our situation. The first time my wife was married, she did take her husbands name. After divorce, she changed it back. When we got married, she did not take my name, and I was more than fine with that. Changing your name is quite a pain logistically. She had already dealt with that hassle twice, and sure didn't want to do it again. Also, the woman taking the man's name has all sorts of history and implications that we weren't comfortable with; if it is such an honor for the woman to take the man's name, wouldn't it be just as much an honor for the man to take the woman's name? And yet people don't typically do that, because historically that wasn't what it was about. There has always been an undertone that the woman is somehow giving up part of herself.
That being said, while we wouldn't do things differently if we had to choose again, there are two reasons this is difficult.
1) People are stupid
As much as what we chose to do is not at all uncommon, a good percentage of the world can't seem to understand the fact that we're married and have different last names. We constantly get people changing our records so they match, sending mail to names that don't exist, etc.
2) Children
We had a kid. Clearly the kid needs to have some last name. We don't like the hyphenation thing, because I don't think anyone thinks about the long-term implications. It is all well and good if your kid is Eleanor Jenkins-Moody, but what happens when she marries Norman Maher-Oliver, and they have a kid named Julia Maher-Oliver-Jenkins-Moody? And so on. We considered lots of options, and what we ended up deciding was that the whole theoretical point of giving the kid the father's name is to "carry on the family name". But if you buy into that business, then a daughter isn't going to be able to do so anyway. So we decided if it was a boy he'd get my name, and if it was a girl she'd get my wife's name. And it was a girl. Which of course also confuses people, and they continue to insist on changing our names in records and so on heh
2006-06-06 07:07:29 · answer #2 · answered by dpawson 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, then you should think the same if the situation were reversed- for a husband to feel honored to take on the last name of the woman he chose to spend the rest of his life with. That's a possibility too, ya know.....
I think it has a lot to do with individuality. Back in the day, marriage was more like a man taking on a wife as a posession. She had no rights to vote, work, etc. So it made sense to give her a new name, as to define her as his. Today, we are all our own people, and the only reason it's still done is because it's traditional.
I did it because I didn't like my last name. That's all.
2006-06-06 07:23:43 · answer #3 · answered by punchy333 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did both. I kept my last name as a second middle name because I love and respect my family and where I came from and I am very proud of it. I took my husbands last name in honor of our families joining together. Turns out it didn't work out between us anyway but I will do the same thing when I marry again.
2006-06-06 07:03:25 · answer #4 · answered by in love with superman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was married to my ex, I took on his last name. I had been with him for 21 years and still had a hard time dealing with writing his last name after mine. So, when we divorced, I changed back to my maiden name.
Since then, I have found someone else and I have written his name many times and feel very comfortable writing it. So, when we get married, I will, definitely, take his last name. :)
Not being able to handle writing my ex's last name should have told me something about our bad relationship. He was verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive the whole time, lying, cheating, using/abusing drugs. At least I have someone totally different now and I love and respect him sooooooooooooo much that I will love to take on his name!
2006-06-06 09:09:19 · answer #5 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I took my husband's last name as well. It is a respect thing and it is a sign that you no longer are a part of your family of origin. By taking his name, it signified that I was now a separate person from my family. I am proud to have his last name.
2006-06-06 15:55:11 · answer #6 · answered by Pirate's Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately it is a gesture that is becoming outdated. In this era of quickie divorces it is becomeing a hassle.
As a man I think I would be upset if a woman kept my name after I divorced her but I have seen that too.
2006-06-06 07:04:50 · answer #7 · answered by observer212 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, when I got married I took his last name. I am proud to have it too. I love being his wife.
2006-06-06 07:01:12 · answer #8 · answered by cowgirl_nc_21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is somewhat about respect but also honoring the becoming of one together.......the family unit.
2006-06-06 12:28:12 · answer #9 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im not married but i plan on taking my husband's name when i do. it WOULD be an honor to take his last name as your own and if you wouldnt do that timy thing for him maybe you arent as in love as you think...
2006-06-06 07:22:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋