My soon-2-b x-husband told me he wasn't in love with me anymore on Valentine's Day. This is the 2nd time he's done this, thus our 2nd divorce! I found out that I was pregnant (with his baby, of course) 2 weeks later. He said he wanted nothing to do with "it", that I should get an abortion, this baby was not made out of love and that it has no reason to live. We have two daughters together already and I'm due with our third in November. He was a good father to them, besides choosing the "single life" instead of the "family life". I refused abortion and literally hate him now cause of the words he has chosen about this pregnancy. He thinks I planned it behind his back (I DID NOT!). I was extremely devastated but am so in love with our unborn child already. If he ends up having a change of heart later on, should I let him "get to know" our unborn child that he said so many mean things about? I know it's his legal right but how could I or should I do?
2006-06-06 06:10:40 · 13 answers · asked by ophee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like your soon to be Ex, has a lot of growing up to do. Like it or not you are eternally tied to this man through your children. He can deny this latest child all he likes, but if it's his, it's his. If & when he finally becomes a fully mature man, & decides to be a part of all of his children's lives, remember this. Your new baby will be growing up in the meantime, and one day will either thank you for keeping the lines of communication open with his/her father, or hate you for denying him/her the option.
Meanwhile suggest to your soon-to-be-ex that the two of you work on changing your relationship from angry ex-lovers, to co-operative co-parents of your lovely children.
Cheers
2006-06-06 06:25:26 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he has change of heart, then maybe. But would always be cautious for the simple fact that he didn't want the child and that he thought this baby should not live. Sometimes people say things out of anger and they don't mean what they say. It is still wrong, but a mistake like any other.
I would consult with your lawyer and express to him what was said to you by your husband. Also be aware that he does have the right to see this child. Just don't focus on him right now. Focus on your unborn baby and your little girls. He's an a**hole and you know Karma is a b***h. He will get his sooner or later. Take care and God Bless!
2006-06-06 06:16:41 · answer #2 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you going through i just found out that I'm pregnant with my 3rd child my husband is not speaking to me and i kind of under since i just had a baby 8 months ago and he wants me to have abortion but i can't do it. we have said very hurtful thing to each other but if it came down to us getting a divorce i would let him see is kids even our unborn because it's not there fault and i think if he is a good father right now he will change.
2006-06-09 15:29:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u'd be ok to let him see/ get to know his child if he changed..but if he's said already is what he feels, do u think someone like that is gonna change? and i'm for sure u didn't plan it b/c he would've had to help ya w/ the baby thing...come on, if u missed a birth control or something, he still had sex w/ ya....this guy sounds like a jerk..i don't know why u would've married him a second time...but if he feels this way about the baby now, i'd leave him outta ur life along w/ the kid...maybe if the kid wanted to get to know his/her father later, and he felt the same go ahead, no hurt to it...good luck...thank God ur gettin a divorce soon! this guy sounds like a jerk! u could do so much better!
2006-06-06 06:16:29 · answer #4 · answered by ♥HOOTERS GURL♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wait and see what the future brings. When he sees his baby for the first time, he might fall in love with it too. If he does and wants to be a part of it's life, then yes. If not, then no. Love that baby regardless of what he does, and provide stability in it's life. It never asked to be brought into this world. Good Luck!!
2006-06-06 06:18:23 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, because its what is best for the child. If you were your youngest and Daddy paid attention to your older sisters but ignored you, wouldn't it hurt? As soon as he comes around, get him involved. If he cannot show the same love and affection to all 3 of his children, then limits need to be put on his visits with all 3. Nothing like feeling unwanted to scar a kid for life :(
2006-06-06 06:19:11 · answer #6 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes I think so, no matter how much you hate him, you need to give a kid the opportunity to see their father. I think maybe his comments were just made out of spite at the time, and he will love the baby just as much as his others, once it is born. Givew him all the access he wants, and then the ball is in his court as to whether he is a good dad or not
2006-06-06 06:14:48 · answer #7 · answered by gill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should let him know it is only fair and right since this is his child too! Talk to your lawyer and find out too.... He does however have a right to his children even though you are divorcing. Do not hate him as this is not the answer either. For give him and let him go!
2006-06-06 06:12:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say if, it sounds like he has already made his mind up however legally if he wants he has every right, i know you are hurt but if he wants to be a father then allow your child to know your father, doesn't mean you have to like him in any way shape or form.
2006-06-06 06:14:40 · answer #9 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want the kid, have it. If wants nothing to do with it. Fine, don't even ask for him for child support and get him to sign papers giving up all claims to the kid.
2006-06-06 06:15:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋