do you like this one?

Question

Many years it has been,
Since I took that train.
Many times I stood in the rain,
Wondering what became of my love, my Rose

Many nights have I sat alone,
Staring in the fire.
As the moon climbs higher,
What happened to Rose?

At last one nigh I had my answer,
While strolling one summer night through park.
I heard a soft sound in the dark,
And rushed to see the source.

I found the source to be a flute,
Playing the sweetest sound I ever heard.
And my heart soarded like a bird,
For the one playing was Rose.

She had not changed,
She was the same as I saw her last.
With her I had a blast,
Talking about years past.

At last I have found her,
My Rose, my love.
I have found my dove,
I am hers and she is mine.

Answer 1

it's cool man. and u sound like a damn lover

Answer 2

This section:

I found the source to be a flute,
Playing the sweetest sound I ever heard.
And my heart soarded like a bird,
For the one playing was Rose.

She had not changed,
She was the same as I saw her last.
With her I had a blast,
Talking about years past.

could stand some tweaking. I don't like the blast/past rhyme, it doesn't fit with the language of the rest of the piece. Also the emotional change is a bit abrupt here. Perhaps talk about the music and how it was sad but then led to happy tunes and led you into happiness, and not finding out it was Rose until after it had elevated the mood.

It's a decent start. It doesn't suck, put it that way. You could stand working a bit more on it though.

Answer 3

Your Rose

A thing of beauty to behold
Wrapped in dew waiting to unfold
She waits patiently alone each day
Far into the night drifting away
Wondering how it would be
If only love were to set him free
To reach out and touch Roses' heart
Never again to be torn apart
By doubt or wondering
Hate or regret
Always to be there
Never to forget
I love you my dear as you will see
If you will purchase a ticket for me
On the train to Utopia
Riding in the caboose.
If I could have a dream come true
I'd wish on a star to always be with you
Never to leave each other again
Always to be there until the end.

This was written several months ago by me for a special person but was never submitted to them. Coincidentally it kind of answers your poetry above. Just thought I'd let you see it. :o)

Answer 4

I'm happy for you, but aside from the typos, your pentameter is way off. Try to work on the flow instead of the rhymes. Its a good message though. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Yes, i do like this1.....Its what true love is all about.....finding Ur soul-mate....or rather the 1 that U love with all of Ur heart. Its rare that U lose that special some1 & find them again...May U both live & love 4 an eternity.

Answer 6

I think it is very creative, and sweet. Rose is one of my favorite names. It is a little bit too rhymey, yet at the same time had many visuals. Not bad at all!

Answer 7

very good did you write it! the word Blast does not seem to fit in with the rest of the poem. But its great otherwise! ;-)

Answer 8

It's pretty good, but try to think up better ryhmes that past and blast and last.

Answer 9

The person who has written this is a grt lover and mad in the love of a girl. Damn good man!!!!!!!!!1

Answer 10

Dude...U should be alone bro...read this thing to some chick...U will be in bed in 5mins.
Oh...don't forget to cry a bit when U r reading this to her!

Answer 11

i read it twice , tender words but there's no deep meaning. that's what u've to care about ,,, the meaning .so i like the words . good luck and go on .u've the talent.