should i stay with my husband after all he did???? help?

Question

here is my story. My husband is young like me 23. weve been married 1 year. we have been fighting alot because im always jealous. Im jelous becase he always was going out staying late not too late but didnt always answer his phone. I also put a key logger on the computer and caught him visiting some sites like friendfinder.com u can meet singles in your area he made a profile but u have to pay for the site but he didnt pay but i saved his profile. He denied it and said its his friend who came by at 10 am ???. he wasnt making love to me much just pleasing himslef and thats it. one night he came home with a valet tag i asked him whats this he said his friend borrowed his car while his was visiting his brother. I was pissed i didnt belive him so i visited my friend whos husband is close with mine. I told her i felt something not right. She told me yah your husband told my hisband him and his brother were at a strip club.He told me alot more stuff too.

His friend saw me cry and told me your husband has been looking at girls alot and told him you can m,eet girls easy on the internet in the area. I begged him to tell me more and swore not to say anything he finally did. He said at my old work my husband told him he had sex with one of the girls there in the basement. I dont know if my husband was joking with him this freind also said he goes to night clubs alot and likes older woman in there 30;s. My husband and i were in a big fight for several days and he said he wanted a divorce because im too jealous and this and that. He said im putting an x on you and were done. He was so serious and slept on the sofa. He went to his firend that i know and stayed till 4 am . His friend said he was on the computer and talking with a girl she was on a webcam and they wanted to meet but he didnt have a car.MY husband after treating me like **** for 5 days came to me and said do you think I can live with out you. We made up. Should I stay with him???

He said I should have come and say sorry and tell him we can work it put which I did. I cried saying you want to leave me like that. My husband thinks he can have any girl he has a big head. Now he thinks everyhting is ok but I know alot he doesnt know I know,. I love him but dont trsut him what should I do? he is also getting his green card form me. he said if i wanted just a green card ill be so nice to you and do whatever you want. Should I belive his friend? HElp

PS now hes having sex with me all the time and pleasuring me and treating me good.

Answer 1

Sounds to me like your husband isn't really ready to be married yet. I don't think a person has to stop having fun just because they get married but it sounds like he hasn't even cut back and doesn't include you in his fun. When a married guy goes out with his friends he should always communicate with his wife where he will be and when he will be home. If the wife is jealous then he needs to change his habits and talk to her so that they can find a resolution to the issue. The fact that your husband is lying to you and all just makes it worse. You two need to sit down and discuss if you are both ready to be married and if you are then decide what changes need to occur so that you can stop the fighting and the jealousy and be happy together.

Answer 2

I feel that it's dishonest, however no less than he did not have intercourse together with her and being under the influence of alcohol makes you do matters you in no way could have dared to do or else. This is from a piece of writing that I wish will useful and reply your query: "Choosing among staying with dishonest companions or calling a divorce legal professional – is among the first dilemmas within the tortured and agony brain of the betrayed partner. You don’t realize what to do and dozens of specific factors for each instructional materials – flood your head all in combination. Here you're going to become aware of the way to uncover the proper reply and what questions you must ask your self as you whether or not to search marriage support, or divorce. Should You Stay or Should You Go? If the intellectual surprise of identifying approximately an affair isn't sufficient – Thinking approximately divorce is an extra devastating segment you appear to ought to cross by way of. It’s like a blow in your intestine. Emotionally speakme, a difficulty in marriage is moment handiest to handling dying of a cherished one. When your dating is at this sort of low factor and you're angrier that you just gave ever been to your existence – Divorce turns out just like the “average” answer. But, that's now not always actual, although you feel that it’s the one solution to salvage your misplaced delight and self esteem. Also, if you happen to haven’t even attempted to clear up your issues along with your dishonest companions earlier than the divorce – You might remorse it for the leisure of your existence. This is a LIFE CHANGING choice. Here Are The Most Important Questions You Should Ask Yourself: Is your partner regretting the affair and is sorry for the discomfort he triggered? Has your partner ended the affair for definite? Has your partner mentioned that he wishes to see your issues and store your dating? Is your partner inclined to check out marriage counseling? Does your partner nonetheless love you? If the various solutions to those questions are YES – Saving your marriage and deciding on marriage counseling over divorce is undoubtedly endorsed and feasible."

Answer 3

Ok what is it going to take for you to see that something aint right.The day that he comes and telLs you that he's wants a divorce or when he no longer cares and you see another woman riding in your car. I think that he wanted you to check the computer i think thats its a trust issue.
Why was he at home at 10:00 am does he work?
HELLO
If you share a computer why would he go to that site when he knows that you use that computer too.I think that he wants you to see what he does so that he would like for you to become jealous those are the games that men play.
If you feel GOOD ABOUT YOUR SELF THEN LEAVE THAT ***. thats why I left men alone I dont have time for DRAMA
Get a woman

Answer 4

Man, you got some issues to deal with. First of all your very insecure and second you should leave him if you feel that strongly about him cheating. Just because things seem great now doesn't mean they won't get worst again. Your history with this man shows that.

Maybe you married to young. You may not be mature enough to deal with the responsibilities of a marriage. Seek marriage counseling o counseling for yourself. Good Luck!

Answer 5

I'm a man and I'm telling you to leave this guy. You have a right to be jealous because of the things your husband is doing. What you are telling me you would not be as jealous if your husband was not doing these things. Have you thought about going to a marriage counselor ? This might work. I hope things work out and I will be praying for you both.

Answer 6

You both need to have a good heart to heart.
Tell him you need the truth or you have to leave him.
Tell him you can't live like this anymore.
I wouldn't just give up, suggest counsellings. Talk to his brother, family, friends.
Jealousy will get you NO WHERE fast. You need to get past that. Can you go out with him? Explain you want to go out with him, his friends, his brother or whatever... find out just what is going on.
Do you share bank accounts?, Do you have kids, Do you own your own home?
Seek the help of family and friends.
Hope you 2 can work something out, but otherwise get out of the relationship, seek counsellings for yourself to end the jealousy issues you have, grow up some and look for someone new.

Good luck in whatever it is you choose.

Answer 7

OMG honey, yes someone said for better or for worse, but that doesn't apply if one in the marriage or both is not ready for it. Your husband is obviously not mature enough to be married he is behaving badly, very badly, if you think he is worth it maybe you should seek counseling run it by him and see how he reacts to that. If he loves you enough and wants this marriage he will agree and try to change, if not he will continue to behave badly. You are a human being and a special person with feelings you deserve to be happy in a happy marriage that will grow strong with someone who is true, honest with you and who respects you and your feelings. Honey don't settle for less than you truly want, you should hold yourself in higher esteem, be strong and do what you have to do, but don't waste your young life on a loser, sweetie there are so many other fish in the sea and you can do bad all by yourself, god bless you and good luck with this. Okay I just read your additional notes, baby you must leave this guy don't walk but run. You said he is getting his green card from you, you better believe he is possibly using you. He is already having sex with other women, and you are crying over this guy that isn't the way love goes pumpkin. This boy is not worth your tears anybody who will make you cry is just not worth it. Please just leave that mess alone he has shown you his true colors, please leave. You should not be crying over anybody you don't deserve that, that is not love, you should be happy, don't you want to be happy with someone you can trust and you know in your gut that you can. I will be praying for you precious.

Answer 8

I know that you are hurt. I'm sorry. Cheating hurts and love is NOT suppose to feel this way. You are young and deserve to be happy and you are NOT happy. Don't wait until you are old and bitter to figure things out. I have to tell you that things don;t get better, they get worse, and the lies will keep on coming and you will be just waiting at the window waiting for him to come home. LOVE is not like this and marriage should NOT be like this.

My heart goes to you and I hope that you get smart and for your own good, get out of this relationship. I know that is a difficult decision to make, specially when you love someone...but honey, he doesn't respect you, he is inmature and looking for someone else.... LOVE YOURSELF and make a decision soon, you DESERVE to be happy .

Good luck

Answer 9

You should try to work it out. I know it is very painful. I have been through a lot of stuff with my husband of 10 years. Some of it very similar to what you are describing. Talk to your husband - go see a counselor. Marriage is all about working through the hard times together.

Answer 10

I would find out why he is doing all of these things and then base my decision off of that. The important thing to remember is how do YOU feel about him doing all of these things. If you have a problem with it; leave no matter what anyone else says. If you think his behavior is okay then stay regardless of what anybody else says. If you choose to act based on someone else's opinon, then you may always regret it.