how will i know if abortion is the right thing to do???

Question

basically im 18 and my boyfriend is 19 we recently found out that im 10 weeks pregnant, it was not planned and my boyfriend does not want a baby yet cuz of our ages also we have no financial backing and well because we want to live life a bit before settling down properly together u no marriage an kids, i have a counsellin appointment and am seriously considering having an abortion but i cant help but think how will i know if its the right decision? i no if i keep the baby ill lose my boyfriend but its so hard making the desicion, i was told a year ago that i have a blood disorder which will leave me infertile but yet here i am 8 weeks pregnant so is this a sign that its ment to be??? please help as im really really confused.

just like to say as well i never intened this to happen i was told i COULD NOT have kids so for everyone who is sayin u souldnt have let this happen if u didnt want it please dont its painful enuf makin a desicion without u ppl havin a go at me, also i dont think i am ready to be a mum yet physically and emotionally,

Answer 1

When I found out I was pregnant My boyfriend asked me to get rid of it. He told me the same exact thing you did. Becuase of money, and we're too young. Well if we're too young to have a baby, why were we having sex. Everyone knows that is a consequence. Now you got what you get for having sex....Take it and love it. Because that baby is going to be the best thing in you life. Some day when you are older and wiser...you'll understand that. Even if you have to raise that baby by yourself.

Answer 2

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant and by bf was also 19. Like you I was told I couldn't have kids, boy were they wrong. And also like you my bf told me to have an abortion.

I know at 18 you aren't ready for a baby. And I completely understand what you are saying about finance and stuff. But truthfully only you can make the decision as to what is right.

But I just want to let you know, that you sound a lot like me. I considered abortion (even though I think it is wrong) and I thought that maybe that was the route to go. But in the end I decided to keep my son, for one reason. And I think you have this too. You are doubting yourself when it comes to having one. You need to make sure that it is your decision and not your bf's.

One of my close friends got pregnant a couple weeks after me. Her bf told her he would have nothing to do with her or the baby if she kept it. She had an abortion and she still regrets it. He left her anyway and she lives with the guilt because she was unsure about what she wanted.

I'm not trying to talk you out of it or anything. I just wanted you to see two point of views. Just make sure you can live with the decision. And it is hard if you keep the baby, but there is always help out there.

Good luck!

Answer 3

That's a very hard decision. I am not a pro-abortion person, but I do believe in a woman making her own decision on whether she wants to have a child or not. You said you have a blood disorder which will leave you infertile, I would have the baby, it might be your only chance and you dont want to live with regrets, do you? If your boyfriend didn't want children he should have controlled himself or gotten protection. If he really cared about you, he would not have wanted to get you pregnant in the first place. I have known a few people who have gotten pregnant two times or more with the same person and they kept getting abortions. That shows you how selfish a man can be, since it's not him having to get the abortion, you have to go through the emotional and physical damage of it. Good luck in your decision and be strong.

Answer 4

Wow, sounds exactly like what I went through. I got pregnant at 17 with my 19 year old boyfriend. He wasn't ready either but I went forward with the pregnancy. We stayed together and got married when our daughter was 8 mos old and then divorced when she was 3. She is now 12 years old and I love her more than anything in the world. I'm very happy I made the decision to have her. She is a very special part of my life. I have also had 2 abortions and I have a 3-year-old with my current husband. Abortion may seem like the easy way out right now but you will have to live with your decision for the rest of eternity. It's not easy. I can't tell you what decision is best for you. If you are concerned about money and being able to take care of your baby you can apply for government assistance temporarily until you can finish school. Talk to your parents, I'm sure they would be willing to help you out. And don't underestimate the support you will get from your boyfriend's parents. After all, this is their grandchild.

Answer 5

First off, because I suspect you haven't heard it much... Congratulations on your baby!

Regardless of what you may have heard, there are no such things as accidents. Rembember: situations can change- I know plenty of people who weren't sure they wanted kids, but who wouldn't change a thing after they arrived. I also know several folks who wouldn't be families without the miracle of adoption.

Ready or not, it sounds like this could be your only chance at having a baby- how might you down the road, when you're older and married, and you wish you could have a baby, but you can't... and you have to live with the knowledge that you had a chance and threw it away?

Also- if you're 10 weeks, did you know your baby has a beating heart already, and his or her own blood type that may be different from yours? Cool, huh?!

Anyway, these are just some things to think about... I hope they help. Good luck!

Answer 6

If you're so torn up over whether or not to have an abortion, why are you even asking this question? If you have doubts (which you obviously do, judging by the way you've worded this post) then I think you know the answer: Don't abort.

FYI--I had early ultrasounds with both of my babies, and at 7 weeks, I could see their heartbeats on the ultrasound machine. 7 weeks old...they were barely bigger than a grain of rice, yet they had hearts that were pumping blood through their bodies. And people say life doesn't begin at conception. Bullsh!t is what I say to those people.

Honey, this is ultimately your decision, but I can't help but think that carrying a pregnancy to term and giving the baby up for adoption would be THAT difficult to do. When I got pregnant with my first baby, my husband and I weren't married yet. We were just above the poverty level, living paycheck to paycheck. He had dropped out of college. Basically we were stuck in a rut, then I find otu I'm pregnant. Six months after that baby was born, I'm pregnant again. I'm now the mother of two beautiful, healthy, wonderful little boys, ages 27 months and 11 months respectively. Are we still in a rut financially? Eh, sorta. It's tight...especially having two of them in diapers at the same time and one still on formula, but you know what...we make do. Do I ever wish I could just have FIVE FRIGGIN MINUTES OF PEACE AND QUIET every once in a blue moon? Hell yeah I do! Do I sometimes want to sit down and cry because my two year old is having a terrible-twos mad screaming tantrum because I won't give him candy for breakfast? Of course! Do I get tired of changing poopy diapers and lugging two kids and $300 worth of groceries every two weeks up three flights of stairs? Uh, yeah! Do I ever wish I'd had an abortion? No. no no no no no.

i can't begin to tell you what a feeling it is to walk in the door after a miserable, long, tiring, horrible day at work, and see this little blonde haired blue eyed boy come running up to me with his arms out squealing, "Mommy, I'm home!" (Hey, he's only 2...he knows what he means, he just can't say it yet! LOL). To look around the corner and see his equally beautiful, chubby little brother smiling and squealing at me from his walker, clapping his fat little hands with the dimples in his cheeks just BEGGING to be kissed. It makes it all worth it, I can tell you that.

If having a baby means you'll end up in the slums on welfare, never getting anywhere with your life, then please carry the baby to term and put him or her up for adoption. Do you have any idea how many thousands, hundreds of thousands of infertile copules there are in this world right now who would give their left arms for a baby? You could give a couple like that a chance...and they could give your baby a wonderful, loving home.

One more thing...Please don't ever consider killing an innocent baby because of some dumb man. Men are like the breeze...they come and go. If your boyfriend is that adamant about you having an abortion becuase he doesn't want the responsibility of raising a child, he can go f*ck himself...at least that way nobody will get pregnant.

Answer 7

You are 10 weeks pregnant. Your baby has a heartbeat. It is living. I got pregnant by accident also. But My son is 3 months old and he is my world. There are other options. Tons of people can`t have children. Adoption is a good thing to look into. There are many different types. Ones where you have no contact with the child and there are also ones where the parents let be there for his or her birthdays.. ect. You are young but you were responsible enough to do the deed. Many states will pay for all of your hospital bills and after the child is born you can get assistance also.

Answer 8

Your not the first person to be in a situation like this.Abortion is not the right way to go because if you do have an abortion there is a 100% possibility that you wont gent pregnant again with you situation and everything.I not trying to tell you what to do,but losing a child that might be your only child you will ever have. If your boyfriend cant accept that you want to keep this baby tell him to go because he doesn't love you the way you think he does.He only want to receive and give pleasure but don't want to accept his responsibility, he's not right for you sweet heart.

Answer 9

you could always try adoption, but let me tell you something. my sister was told that she could never have a baby got preggo and had an abortion and now that she is at a point in her life where she feels she is ready for child, she is unable to conceive, and she has been trying for a year, and has used invito and everything and still no luck, now she is looking into adoption! I feel that you got preggo for a reason, it was meant to be, and I will tell you that if you BF leaves you cuz you decided to keep it hes a dead beat and an A**, but you need to do whats right for you and your life, make sure you really think about it, talk to your family, if there is someone you trust enough, you maybe surprised at how willing they are to help you though this! Good Luck!

Answer 10

Abortion is not your best option. You could be left regretting it the rest of your life & resenting your boyfriend. Don't forget that you always have the option to put your baby up for adoption. With the limited information that I have about your situation, it sounds like it would be the best option. However, many women keep their babies & raise them on their own. It is a difficult road, but when you look back, you will never regret putting your baby up for adoption or keeping him/her. On the other hand, you would most likely regret an abortion.