I've been going out with my girlfriend for the past 1 1/2 years. Shes 19 and all she ever does is party, and i completely understand that because she is very young she wants to enjoy it. Im 24 and a medical student with my goals in life set out, in a couple more months i'll be an intern at a hospital. I'm not going to ask her to grow up because she is only 19 she still has many more years to be young. She knows that i will have no life once i start my internship at her fathers hospital. She knows doctors have no life because her father is a surgeon and he rarely spends time with her. Should i let her go before she gets even more attached to me?
2006-06-06 04:48:51 · 25 answers · asked by mikeysmarty82 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Let her take the decision, just let her know your stone printed goals
2006-06-06 04:52:37 · answer #1 · answered by lion61_mx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, sorry to say. It looks like you and she are in completely different places in your lives right now. That said, as much as you may love her and she may love you, your lives are incompatible right now.
In your teens and 20s, five years is significant. Age is less significant the older you get, but it is significant when younger, because you are growing and maturing at different rates. Not everyone matures the same mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically.
At 19, she has graduated from high school, may be in college and/or working, and she probably doesn't have many responsibilities right now. I partied too when I was 19 (half my life ago! LOL). But now that I'm 38 (14 years older than you), I am more like you and you are more like me. I have a job and a marriage and a house and need to work out. There seem to be fewer and fewer hours in the day, and I'm a teacher, not a doctor. I cannot imagine the life of a doctor. I know I get significantly more time off, and still don't have enough time.
It will be hard, but I think you should break it off. You say you have only a couple more months before your intense internship starts.
I have some compassion for this girl; she has an absent father, and an absent boyfriend. I hope she doesn't think that all males are normal if they are emotionally absent. And as brilliant a surgeon as her father probably is, I wonder how doctors' kids deal with not seeing their father or mother if the parent is a very busy doctor. Do these kids know what a good, functional, loving marriage is? I have to wonder.
Good luck, and I applaud you for looking ahead and being thoughtful, albeit in a slightly clinical, detached way. ;)
Cheers, K
2006-06-06 11:57:40 · answer #2 · answered by Kate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Almost sounds like you made up your mind. Are you two going to actually have a real relationship. You're not even going to get any sleep for a long period of time. She's going to still want to party when you're not able to and you can't blame her (yes, you said that). Do you not want her doing anything right now except be with you or is it really okay with you that she's out and about having a good time? You have to take this information from your heart. Obviously something is bothering you. Good for you for going to be a physician. I wish you a lot of luck!!
2006-06-06 11:55:14 · answer #3 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are at 2 different points in life. You sound like you have your life planned out and she's still in party mode. I suggest you talk to her and let her know how how intense your internship will be and that you won't be able to spend as much time with her. Judging by her response you will know if you need to let her go. Good luck!
2006-06-06 11:53:59 · answer #4 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me she knows all this information so she can make up her own mind if she wants to be with you or not, she doesn't need you making up her mind for her. I think the problem may be that you are the one wanting out because you can't deal with the fact she might dump you or be off partying while you are working all the time. If you want to break up with her because of your feelings then do it, but don't go and do it because it is what is best for her.
2006-06-06 11:53:10 · answer #5 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dr., it seems that, at least right now, you two are on two different paths heading towards different destinations. she's on the "Fun Sidewalk" (sidewalk because she's not even on a road yet at 19 years old and you're on "Professional Freeway". the sidewalk will only take her around the block until she's ready to venture out on the open road. your freeway will take you wherever you want it to.
two cannot travel together unless they're going in the same direction along the same path. who knows, perhaps in the future, you two can reconnect, but right now heartache may be just over the horizon. good luck...
http://miltizme.blogspot.com
2006-06-06 11:56:18 · answer #6 · answered by mradelbert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just as responsible for your relationship as you are. If she got into the relationship knowing that you were going to be a doctor, she should know what to expect.
It seems like you have more of a problem with her partying than she has a problem with you not being able to party. (Unless you just failed to mention that in your post).
I would say just have a talk with her and make sure she knows what the future looks like and if she still wants to share it with you.
-Dan
2006-06-06 11:54:24 · answer #7 · answered by djmoe1987 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If being with her is going to disrupt your studies and internship, then maybe you need to tell her that you need to break up. If you really like her, tell her you need to lay low and maybe not get together as often, possibly easing her out of the relationship. Whatever you do, don't let her get even more attached because that isn't fair to her.
2006-06-06 11:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by iLOVEpirates 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that depends, did her father get you this internship because you are her boyfriend? Because then she might feel like you used her. But I say that you should tell her that you just want to be friends and you don't want to hold her back from anything else. Don't blame it on her partying if that is not what is bothering you. Just blame it on yourself and say that you aren't gonna have time and you will feel like your neglecting your relationship, blah blah.
2006-06-06 11:54:11 · answer #9 · answered by datchic412 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should ask her what she thinks will happen bettwen you too. Does she think you too are going to get married or is she looking for someone else new . I think you should sit down and have a talk with her before something happens between you two .I think if you two are wanting to get married she should stop partying its not a good thing to do when you are in a relationship. IT's not healthy.
2006-06-06 11:58:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think u should sit down and talk 2 her and tell her if she don't think ur med life is not import just let her go i know if i was with you i would help u frist 2 fill ur dreams
2006-06-06 11:53:33 · answer #11 · answered by baby girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋