My fiance isn't very forward sexually and most of the time I take control and come onto him. He has some family issues at the moment, which he is finding very difficult to deal with. Anway, my question is - Sex always happens at night, in bed and only once - I have told him until i'm blue in the face that this is enough and i'm getting bored but nothing seems to be changing. Do you agree that I should not be available for the night time sex until things change? I don't know what to do? Pls help.
2006-06-06 04:18:22 · 18 answers · asked by Sasha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If your fiance is not as sexually confident as you, maybe you need to help him. If I was you, I would wait until the family issues are sorted (the stress won't help him) and try showing him that you could enjoy having more adventurous sex (different times of the day/ different room/ hotel / even al fresco! etc). Seems to me that you need to help him to become more sexually confident. I was very simillar to your fiance, but my current partner was tremendously understanding and gentle with me and showed me how to be more forward sexuallly. Now we have a very good, and thrilling love life with us both happy to take control! Withholding sex at night seems to me to be a bit like cutting off your nose to spite your face!
2006-06-06 04:28:19 · answer #1 · answered by sally r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
want my opinion? here it is, unadulterated:
he's your fiance which means you're not yet married so, sex shouldn't even be an issue until vows are exchanged. having said that, assuming that this won't change i offer the following:
you stated that your fiance has some family issues that he's having a hard time dealing with. is it possible that these issues are effecting his behavior in other areas? if so, have a little understanding for him. do what you can to help him through this.
when two people get married, basically they MUST both be willing to throw the "this is how i've always done it" mindset out. you are to cleave to one another and become one flesh. in other words, you'll both have to forget how "I" did things and learn and establish how "we" will do things. this is a process that takes YEARS! both parties must be patient, compromise and be wlling to change.
that's all.
http://miltizme.blogspot.com
2006-06-06 11:27:46 · answer #2 · answered by mradelbert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the 2 of you are a bad match up. If he's not very interested now it will get worse after you marry him. You have a high sex drive and his is low. It won't work. Find someone who has the same needs as you.
2006-06-06 11:23:23 · answer #3 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is only one way to find out...try it. Don't give him any at night for a week and try coming onto him during the day...he may protest a little but push him in return and see what happens. Good luck.
2006-06-06 11:22:09 · answer #4 · answered by Luna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are stupid like this sometimes, my man, too, is boring in bed with the routine of same time, same place. Again, the burden falls on the woman's shoulders to bring excitement and spontaneity to the sex.
2006-06-06 11:23:46 · answer #5 · answered by sadiebleubabygurl707 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't hold out. That is just childish. Think about how you would feel. Ok, you are having family issues and your boyfriend is humping your leg and asking for more. You'd be pissed. Then he holds out on you. You'd probably leave him. Be considerate, give him space, and things will eventually change, or you can leave him.
2006-06-06 11:21:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That might just push him farther away.Sometimes us men have a rough time being romantic when we are stressed out about something.With a little more patience he will probably come around to seeing your way of thinking and be more responsive to your needs.
2006-06-06 11:25:32 · answer #7 · answered by asmikeocsit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Must be soooooo boring!! Whatever happened to spontaneity?? Far more exciting places and times to have sex.
2006-06-06 11:28:50 · answer #8 · answered by wuddy092000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah make him wait it out sometimes. Don't always be so available. Maybe after a few rejections he will get the picture!!!
2006-06-06 11:20:47 · answer #9 · answered by mZgRoW*N*sExY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a relationship is not all about sex & you should only do it when it feels right. if your fiance is having family problems, don't add to them- tell him you love him & that you will support him. if you do he may just suprise you in the bedroom department.
2006-06-06 12:10:34 · answer #10 · answered by canim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋