my seventeen year old son seems to be going nowhere. any suggestions out there?

Question

flunking some courses, has to be forced to do anything, and seems to have just a few good friends who seem to have themselves undercontrol.

Answer 1

I was in a similar situation. My mom made a deal with me, if I went to school full time AND PASSED they would pay for school and let me live at home. If I didn't fulfill my part of the deal, I had to get a job and pay rent for my room and pay for my own schooling, or get a place of my own and do it all. I ended up getting a place of my own and learning that I had a lot to learn about life, but I did what needed to be done.

Answer 2

Maybe he is not enjoying what he is doing in school, or has a deeper problem worth recognizing. My youngest brother had the same problem and my parents went ballistic on him, thinking he was fooling around and not being serious about his studies, and they were constantly on his case, which in turn didn't make the situation any easier on him....as the constant pressure only made it worse. It turned out he had a hearing problem (which was pretty serious - he has an operation recently to try and fix the problem), and because of this he couldn't concentrate, it wasn't that he didn't want to but he couldn't.

What I am saying is that, your son may be dealing with things you have no idea about and he may not be enjoying the subjects he is doing at school, with that he doesn't have the motivation he needs to succeed at it. Selecting his friends may be the only thing he can control, and seeing them moving forward is probably just making him feel even more of a failure (even more to if you tell him the same thing he is feeling)

So, talk to him, see what he wants, see where he wants to go, his dreams for himself...move from there...you may find out things you never knew before!!

Answer 3

Sit him down and have a talk. Maybe he's afraid of the fact that he's getting ready to be a real man soon. See if it has something to do with something from his past. Take notes on the way he acts when you tell him to do things. Does he understand those courses? Is he getting the attention he needs sometimes as parents were so busy helping others that we son't notice or own child needs help. Do something he likes for a day for a change maybe that's what he needs for you to show him how much you really so care. And let him no that no matter what he decides to do with his life you have his back and tell him the only thing I wish to see before I pass is for you to graduate that's the greatset gift. That should help and touch him.

Answer 4

Okay first every child has heard of the human centipede so many say that they've watched it when they got freaked by the trailer. It's not suitable for a child of 10 it's an 18 for a reason. And it may affect your child's mental health state and development more than you may think. I wouldn't recommend anyone watch it let alone a 10 year old

Answer 5

I have the same deal here at my house. I've told my son he has to have a job this summer and take drivers ed (Or I will sell the car). I'll pay 1/2 of the insurance but he has to pay the rest.

My son was failing a couple of classes and I said if the last report card has even one F on it there will be NO video /computer games all summer - I'm mean. It worked and he has NO F's as of the last "walk around" or progress report.

Answer 6

You better get a handle on it NOW!, My younger brother is now 19, cant hold down a job, didnt graduate high school, is the most disrespectful punk youd ever meet, and also going nowhere. You need to quit supprting his problematic behavior and boot his sorry *** out. At this point the only thing that will save him is the school of hard knocks. Tough love is a ***** but saves many lives. If you dont he will be a loser forever.

Answer 7

If this continues for awhile or if your son does not sustain attention to anything other than video games or TV, doesn't seem to listen when spoken to, never follows through on projects, has been disruptive in class, fails to give close attention to details, fails to follow through on schoolwork or chores or is disorganized, he may have Attention Deficit Disorder for which any amount of "tough love" may not work. Find an ADD specialist in you area and get him checked. He may need medicine. If he is really just lazy or bored, then tough love may work........Been there!

Answer 8

He's 17. Be patient and loving. Loving doesn't mean let him do what he wants. Loving a child is disciplining them when necessary. Maybe there is a mentor at a local church or PAL program in your area that can help him out. Unfortunately, if a teen or younger person tells him the same thing you said, he'll believe them and listen to them first. Good luck!

Answer 9

give him time. He is only 17 and not like every other 17 year old. Most 17 year olds are out doing drugs and having sex. Maybe he is going through a rough time right now and needs some attention. Or maybe he would rather be left alone. Give him advice, don't come out to strick on him right now.

Answer 10

Don't worry too much. He's seventeen and they're all a nightmare at that age. If he's still that insistent on doing nothing a couple of months from now, tell him that you want him to pay rent. That'll **** him up. It worked for me!