I am looking for Chuck Norris Jokes and need some good ones. Thanks
2006-06-06 03:44:45 · 18 answers · asked by Jami Moyer 2 in Games & Recreation ➔ Other - Games & Recreation
when bruce banner gets mad he turnes into the hulk. when the hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris
2006-06-06 03:48:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
CHUCK NORRIS' FAVORITE 20 FACTS (BASED ON THOSE HE'S SEEN)
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
ChuckNorris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity ¦ twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris¦ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn¦t lifting himself up, he¦s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn¦t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
2006-06-06 03:51:48 · answer #2 · answered by Shy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the Boogeyman is going to sleep each and every night time, he tests his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris does not learn books. He stares them down till he will get the know-how he desires. There is not any concept of evolution. Just a record of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to are living. Outer house exists seeing that it is afraid to be at the equal planet with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris does now not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is presently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and correct legs. Chuck Norris is the cause why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - two times. There is not any chin at the back of Chuck Norris’ beard. There is handiest a further fist. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris is so rapid, he can run world wide and punch himself at the back of the top. Chuck Norris’ hand is the one hand that may beat a Royal Flush. There is not any such factor as worldwide warming. Chuck Norris used to be bloodless, so he grew to become the solar up. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Chuck Norris doesn’t put on an eye fixed, HE comes to a decision what time it's. Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris does now not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost Remember the Soviet Union? They made up our minds to stop after looking a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV. Contrary to general perception, America isn't a democracy, this can be a Chucktatorship
2016-09-08 21:24:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These aren't jokes, but funny "facts" (not real, thus joke-like) about Chuck Norris at the Chuck Norris Random Fact Generator: http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=fact&person=chuck
Keep refreshing the page for a new saying. There are some really funny ones in there!
2006-06-06 03:49:23 · answer #4 · answered by l.marie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Chuck Norris can put out a fire with a gallon of gasoline.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris doesn t dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
2015-12-03 04:23:28 · answer #5 · answered by Austin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
life is like a box of chocolate, you never know when Chuck Norris is gonna kill you.....
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, Chuck Norris goes killing
why cant you talk when the teacher's talking? cause the first teacher was Chuck Norris
(play a chuck Norris game on http://www.addictinggames.com (you get to squish the brains out of people and eat their hearts. how fun)
when Chuck Norris goes to sleep he leaves a light on, not because he's afraid of the dark, but cause the dark is afraid of him....
2006-06-08 11:34:31 · answer #6 · answered by pupsaruff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mightiest of all Greek Gods, Zeus, has a striking resemblance to Chuck Norris. Coincidence? I think not. The Greeks created Zeus in an effort to replicate the awesomeness of Chuck Norris and to frighten enemies. As we can see from history it worked out well. They had to create Zeus because no one would believe the might of Chuck Norris, so they toned it down to Zeus.
2006-06-06 03:51:28 · answer #7 · answered by Battousai 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris once shot Bon Jovi through the heart for giving love a bad name.
2006-06-06 03:48:01 · answer #8 · answered by lexie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris doesnt mow the grass, he dares it to grow...
Guns dont kill people, Chuck Norris kills people...
The leading causes of death in the U.S. are: 1.Heart Disease 2.Chuck Norris 3.Cancer...
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down...
2006-06-06 03:50:46 · answer #9 · answered by Shaw1Net6 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris is a joke. LOL. sorry don't know any real ones.
2006-06-06 03:46:56 · answer #10 · answered by onemocc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What wars did'nt Chuck Norris win?
The ones Rambo won.
2006-06-06 04:01:02 · answer #11 · answered by zenan p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋