I'm a young adult who is married to a wonderful man. We have a three year old son together. But we ahve one little problem. When we were planning our wedding, I told him that I was going to keep my name. He agrreed and it was settled. Now that Everyone calls me my name and not his he gets all defensive. What should I do to make this problem stop. One thing is that I'm not changing my name.
2006-06-06 03:08:16 · 20 answers · asked by shonuff 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My name is the cutest thing. My first, middle and last name spell another name that my mother calls me. He cannot take that away from me. I love my initials.He can't take my trade mark. Plus his last name doesn't sound good with my first name and my middle name. I have the perfect name, everything works hand in hand. Plus it is a unique name. I'm a professional and my maiden name is the name that I use.
2006-06-06 06:18:48 · update #1
Ask him to change his name to your last name. If he doesn't like that idea, then tell him that's exactly the way you feel.
It's hard for someone to argue with himself. :-)
2006-06-06 03:13:32 · answer #1 · answered by my_alias_id 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand why he is upset, he sees this a a sign of rejection.
So, he changed his mind, we are all human and have feelings; now he feels rejected...perhaps some people/coworkers/family of his take this a a bad sign, although that is not the case.
I have an idea that might work for you. Why don't you compromise and try to go middle ground to settle this once and for all and preventing this name-issue from being a life long grudge that can hurt your marriage.
Try for a hypenaned name. That way you can keep your name and add his, as a sign of respect for his wishes. That way you can honor his family name and still keep yours. This way you can change your name on paper, for taxes, titles for property etc; but on your day to day, at work, chuch with family members, bussiness etc. they will still address you with your last name. Nobody call hypenanted names as a whole, they go by the first last name.
Good luck to you.
2006-06-06 04:12:14 · answer #2 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well why not change your name? I don't understand it!!! What last name does your son have his or yours? If he has his daddy's last name don't you think it is important especially if you are married to all have the same name? When he goes to school kids will comment on it believe me they do! and what is he to say? NO, my parents are NOT divorced they are too married...... now how are you goin to explain that to him? Think about it is it worth all of that just to keep it? Put your last name as your middle name and your new last name as it should be the last name.., that way you still have your last name as a part of your name this way you both are happy about it and the son wouldn't have a reason to be questioned later..............
2006-06-06 03:17:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your unwillingness to take his name shows you're not seriously committed to the relationship and don't see it as permanent. He should have made it clear from the beginning that if you're his wife, you change your name - unless you're an actress or something. If you fight him on this you'll fight about many trivial things in the future and not be a good 'surrendered' wife. I assume you got married for practical/legal convenience reasons and not love and a sincere caring for each other.
2006-06-06 03:15:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister has also chosen to keep her maiden name but she and her husband came to a compromise she used a hyphen to separate her maiden name from her married last name. This has worked for her so give it some thought her last name is written Withers-Chrisman.
2006-06-06 03:15:51 · answer #5 · answered by mhblast12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, If you think you love your husband, you dont have to change the name but you can add it on your names. I know you have your reasons for not wanting it, but that fails to convince him that you love him. Even in the law, it recognized; for a married woman to add her husband's name. Actually, you never know, but this may be the best gift you could offer him!!!
2006-06-06 03:14:56 · answer #6 · answered by lone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't change my name either. You two talked about it way before marriage and now just because he doesn't like people calling you by your name doesn't give him the right to rise up a problem in your marriage. Sounds like he's a jerk and wants things to change just to make himself happy in the marriage.
2006-06-06 03:15:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the reason why you won't change it and maybe he will understand. or you could do like my aunt did she took out her middle name and put her last name then his last name and now her name is like Cassandra Parker Alexander
2006-06-06 03:13:19 · answer #8 · answered by mdwillridge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make him understand u r a free individual just like he is.and one should never compromise with self-individuality.but yes,remember,he is ur husband,so try to work it out in a peaceful way.dont make situation get worse but only better.
2006-06-06 03:14:41 · answer #9 · answered by luckvin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well why do you not want his name? does your child have your last name or his? maybe you should talk to him and tell him why you don't want to change your name. just be honest with him and let him know that its not him.
2006-06-06 03:14:33 · answer #10 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋