Why do white women expect their husbands to give up their love and loyalty to their mother when they marry?

Question

Why do white american women expect their husbands to give up their love and loyalty to their mother when they marry?

And why do they use the bible to justify it?

Answer 1

When I married my husband, he had a very difficult relationship with his mother and some of those difficulties impacted the way he related to me. Although I understood some of what drove him crazy about his mother, it was important to our relationship that he came to have a better relationship with her. If you are lucky enough to find a man who really loves and respects his mother, be grateful, because he will also be able to love and embrace you. If a man is not loyal to his own mother, how can you expect him to be loyal to you? My advice to young brides: Do not try to compete with his mother, but turn to her as a second mother (think of Ruth in the Bible) and you will never regret it. If your husband has a difficult relationship with his mother, it's even more important to draw close to her, because whatever you can do to help heal that relationship will help your new family to develop more healthy patterns as well. The same is true for husbands with their mothers-in-law. (For some reason, fathers-in-law never seem to get the same bad rap as mothers-in-law.)

PS I see from your history that this question represents an issue that really troubles you. If you are having a problem with the woman in your life, you really need to find a way to deal with her directly. I would suggest marriage counseling to help facilitate more open communication. Just soliciting opinions on the Internet won't do it. Remember, you cannot change another person. You can only change yourself and how you respond to what other people do. If something in your marriage or relationship is not working, you have to examine the ways that you contribute to the problem, not just point a finger at the other person's problems. Good luck. I hope you work it out.

Answer 2

I don't think they think they should give up their mothers what they do expect is that their priorities to change.
The two loves and loyalties are totally different from one another, the love you have for your mother is not the same as for your wife in no shape or form, your mother will always be your mother, but your wife is your next of kin now that you are married.
If your wife knows this then there should be no problem unless, the husband is letting his mother run his home instead of his wife.
A husband should not compare the two of them either, your wife will not be able to cook as your mom, your wife will not clean in the way as your mom, they are two different women in two different places in your life and your heart, as long as you don't compare the two you should be able to face anything together.
I am blessed with a beautiful mother-in-law and of course she gives advice but, that is all it is, it's not law.

Answer 3

I don't know where you got that idea. Clarify your question, or at least let us know where you got your information from, because it is wrong. White American women do not expect our husbands to give up their love and loyalty to their mothers. My mother in law is my best friend, and I am very lucky to have her.

Besides, it is a fairly well-known fact that the better a man treats his mother, the better he will treat his wife. Women usually stay away from men who treat their mothers with disrespect.

Answer 4

In the bible it says that a man leaves his family and a woman leaves her family and when they marry, they begin their own family. The bible states that your spouse is to be put first even above your children.

I'm not sure what type of loyalty you are speaking of. I have a son and when he is old enough to leave home and marry I don't expect him to cater to me constantly. I expect him to go to work and go home to his new family everyday. He can visit me now and then. Of course, if I become ill or in need I expect my son and his wife to help me and I'd expect my son to do the same for his mother-in-law.

If you look at all the animals in the world humans are the only ones who try to keep their children around. No mama's boy elephants or mama's boy chimps. It's natural for men to leave their mother and start their own family.

Answer 5

first of all we don't . were you get that idea i do not know . second i am in a loveing relationship with my mother -n - law and so is my husband. we don' t see her as much as we would like but i talk with her everyday. You may have to realize that the love you have for a wife or husband is different than the love that you have for your mother. Both loves can exsist in a marriage without any problems. You just have to put your wife and children first above all esle. And be there for your mother when she needs you but don' t allow her to take advantage of you.

Answer 6

Be reasonable, please do not blame whole white community.

Regardless Religion, it is the duty of a Husband to take care of wife and family. Then he is suppose to take care of mother.
Mother is a responsibility of Father.

I don't think there is any Religion which says Mother first wife second?

After marriage most of the male can not manage to take care of mother and wife and they suffer a lot.

Using religious book for reference is a very good. What is wrong with it?

Use mind than anger. If you marry try to manage.

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Answer 7

I dont know why white american women do it however I really don t think it is a race thing. I dont think they want the husbands to give up their love and loyalty just want more compromise.

Dont jump everytime your mother call unless she really needs you. To respond to you regarding why they use the bible that answer is simple because it is there and easy to comprehend. Man to leave in mother and cleave to his wife. Simply said,uh,lol.

Just compromise a good wife will I mean I do it all the time. I bit my tongue so many times I cant even count.

Answer 8

I think the roles of "man of the house" and "somebody's little boy" are incompatible. If the man is still overly attached to his mother, he seems like he has not fully committed to the responsibilities of manhood. I can understand why this would worry a wife.

A married man's first focus should be his wife and family, because they depend on him.

Can't answer the bible part. But I don't think this issue is unique to white women.

Answer 9

I dont know who you are hanging with, but I think it times to refresh your social activities...

Nobody said anything about giving up love or loyalty

Yet if someone does request this or acts in a malicous way to acheive this kind of goal it is VERY WRONG , and derives from envy and fear of loosing.

Besides , hell...give momma some prozac and a blockbuster subscription, shell be fine

Answer 10

Don't know about the bible, but for the rest of your question, ignoring the sterotyping, my answer would be because they SHOULD! Wife is number 1. Or husband is going to get number 2'd on in about 3 seconds.