by the time the baby would be born if i got pregnant in a couple months i would be about 20 1/2. i have a full time job and ive been w/ my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years & were talking about marrige. i know lots for girls my age who already have babies & i see some that are pregnant & i get so jealous. please give me ur suggestions. thanks.
2006-06-06 02:21:06 · 20 answers · asked by amandax086 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
You're probably old enough.
2006-06-06 02:23:48 · answer #1 · answered by the Politics of Pikachu 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would like to say that you're not too young because I'm pretty much the same age and am also trying to have a baby. I will say this though, even though you are with your boyfriend of 3 and half years I would wait until you married not just talking about it to try to get pregnant. Things may suddenly change and you two could end up not married but with this child. Be fair to the child and at least wait til you are married and are really willing to take care of the responsibility, not just jealous of other girls and what they are going to have. Even if you really want to have a baby, does your husband?
2006-06-06 13:33:56 · answer #2 · answered by Hope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 23 and I have a nine month old. I love my son but there is so much to life. When I was 20 I was with my boyfriend for 4 years, was engaged, in the process of buying a house. On my 21st birthday I went out with my friends and relized that was not what I wanted and broke up with him. Just like that. A couple of days later I went out and met the man of my dreams I wasn't looking for anyone obviously it just happened. We were together 3 months and I got pregnant. I love my family more than anything. But you are young, I am still to young I think. All of my friends have kids. It is so intense, I wish that there was a way that you could test it out before you had a child. My son is teething and still wakes up all throughout the night. I don't work and physically I don't think that I could. I got my dog when I was 2 months pregnant and I thought that was a lot of work. Well a child is 100x more work. Please think more into it, life can change in the blink of an eye. It is nice to have kids young but for the rest of your life you will be worrying about that child. Since the day my child was born I have not stopped worrying about him, between sids, suffocation, diaper rash, it seems like little things but there is so much more to it than that. This weekend we are actually going to a wedding, and sleeping over. I am already having withdrawals from him. The wedding is not more than 20 minutes away from my mom which is where he will be but it is the fact that he will not be in the next room is killing me. Just please think about it. Michelle
2006-06-06 09:36:35 · answer #3 · answered by verysexy29 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. Technically, you are old enough, but realistically, you're not! I made a decision to get married and have a child at your age and even though I love my son dearly, the smarter decision would have been to live my life first. Decide to have children when you know that regardless of what happens to you and your partner, YOU solely, can support your children. Having children now means you're willing to give up the next 19+ years of your life. Why dont you live first? What about turning 21? OMG! You really want to be at home with a baby in one arm and stirring spaghetti sauce with the other while your boyfriend/husband is working 16 hours a day to support his family and pay the rent?? This is reality! Establish yourself, your career, your future. You may adore this man that you're with, but there's an 89% chance that he will not be the one by your side when you're 30! So, with all that being said, the golden rule of successful women; when your income is three times what you need to live, have one child; when your income is five times what you need to live, get married. With a pre-nup!
2006-06-06 09:47:06 · answer #4 · answered by carolinagrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weather or not you are old enough has nothing to do with you being 20. you have to remember that once you become pregnant your whole life will change, and for the rest of your life (not the next 18 years like some say) you will have this child to love, mentor, and raise up to be a great person.
You will lose the ability to just go out or go to a movie without your little one to worry about. You'll have to quit your job, cut back your hours, or pay outragious money for day care.
Consider these things and if you think you can do it and you know you want to do it then you are ready.
It's of course normal for ANYONE to be scared. Once you make the decision to be a parent you can't go back.
lots of 20 year olds make good moms so being 20 has nothing to do with it. sure you are old enough age wise, but the question is are you ready? that's not something anyone can answer for you. only you can figure that out for yourself.
2006-06-06 09:28:53 · answer #5 · answered by eccenchic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well there are pros and cons to this situation, pro: if you have children now,by the time it is 18 you are still young and can go places and do things that you enjoy. con: if you have kids now, you can't go out partying with your friends while you are in your prime, you have to become the adult in the relationship because most men won't; their lifestyle doesn't change, only yours,
i tell you this because this is my life, i had my kids early my husband still acted like it was no big deal, granted he is a great father,but he did and still does at times act like my children.
I'm not saying that all men are this way, and i wouldn't change the way my life has been for anything, just be prepared for alot of changes in your life, and make sure you are ready for it, and maybe get married first , check out how that works for a few months first, then think of having a baby, and talk to your HR dept, if you have one to see what there policy on maternity leave is, different jobs have different policies.
good luck with what ever you decide
blessed be
2006-06-06 09:44:10 · answer #6 · answered by gin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your wanting a baby because your jealous of other girls then you dont need to be a mother. Sorry to be so harsh but there are more reasons to have a baby besides " everyone else is " which is what your post mainly talks about.
Are you ready mentally, phisically, financially ? Just because you have been with someone and have talked about marriage doesnt mean its going to happen...you have been together almost 4 years so why havent you gotten married yet ??
2006-06-06 09:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by Tiffany D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not get married first? I mean if you and him have been together for that long it should work out. Then after marriage give it a couple of years (at least 2-3) to get used to married life. Then have a baby. All of you will be alot more stable and secure.
2006-06-06 12:57:49 · answer #8 · answered by brm1981 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, i thought the same thing, but when you really listen to them, THEY are jealous of YOU. look at it this way, they have a child now, no parties, no sleeping in late, no lounging around all day, no 'alone' time with your man whenever you want it, no just getting up and going....you have to be sure you are ready for that, because i guarantee these girls werent and they probably still arent, you just think they are. i'm 23 all my friends have babies, and i've been with my b/f for 5 years and lived together for 1, and i was jealous to, until they told me how lucky i was to be able to do what i wanted when i wanted. but if youre positive you are ready for a lifetime commitment of another human, then go ahead. only you know when you are ready, and it is a blessing, i cant wait untill i am physically ready, i'm already mentally ready i just have to financially get my life straight
2006-06-06 11:39:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am exactly the same age as you. I am in the same situation. I think that if YOU think you are old enough and mature enough then go for it. just make sure that your relationship is stable, because you want the best for your baby, and it is good fo the baby to have both a father and a mother. Good luck! I am also like you, when i see other women pregnant or having babies I want one sooooo bad! My best friend who is 19 just had a darling little baby girl. Just make sure you can provide for the baby both financiall and emotionally. Good Luck!
2006-06-06 11:30:41 · answer #10 · answered by wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 19 when I got preggo with my first child. I wish I would have waited. I mean, I wouldnt trade her for anything, but I would have liked to have been older. My husband and I got married before she was born, and let me tell you, it wasnt easy. ITs hard being young, married for the first time AND becoming parents. It is the largest responsibility you will ever have. I would recommend getting married first and waiting a few years before having a baby. That being said, no one can make this decision for you. You have be to be the one to decide if you are mature enough to become a parent. Its not easy by any means.
2006-06-06 09:41:30 · answer #11 · answered by Jenn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋