I have gained 40lbs due to taking medicine to try to have a baby, unfortantely the medicine did not help. My signinficant other has been constantly telling me I need to lose the weight. I am working out twice a day 5 days a week. However he has said some very hurtful remarks to me. "He told me if I keep crying, maybe I will lose a few ounces." "What's cruel is making love to someone my size" I'm way past walking I need to start running etc." He also listen to radio talk discussions and twice there were discussion regarding to women who gain weight, and called me and asked me to listen to other people point of views to show that he is not the only one who feels the way he does. I told him how he makes me feel and he says "he so sorry and that he really loves me, but when he's around me he has this look of total distaste, and he acts really nervous. I really am not a desperate woman and I do really love him but I don't think I can stay in a relationship that's so mental abusing!
2006-06-06 01:17:39 · 12 answers · asked by Fe-Fe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm 5"9 and now weigh 185
2006-06-06 01:23:13 · update #1
Good LORD!!! 40 lbs ... JEEEEEZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUSSSSSS H. Christe!!!! That's a lot of weight. And you ain't even pregnant yet. holycowdoodie ... DAMN!!!!
Oh yeah ... and I totally agree ... Stop Walking and Start RUNNING!!!!!! Then again .. if you can't take the heat ... get the hell out of the kitchen ... don't drag him down because you're "putting up" with his mental abuse ... hell ... leave him! Go find someone that don't mind a "weighty" woman.
2006-06-06 02:01:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What an a**!! If the medicine caused the weight gain, what does he think pregnancy would do? Look, you don't need to be with someone who is so uncaring and hurtful. Mental abuse is far more damaging than physical, in my opinion. Physical wounds heal, but verbal abuse can stay with you for a very long time. I've lived it. You owe it to yourself to be happy. Maybe when you find the right man you will become pregnant. Maybe you're not meant to have a baby with this man for a reason. Leave him and be happy in your life!! Good luck!!
2006-06-06 01:28:13 · answer #2 · answered by fungirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi hon, sounds like you are in a Cr*PP situation. I'm assuming that you at least love him a bit or else you wouldn't want to have a baby with him or even be asking this question.
He is abusing you - mental abuse is often more scarring that physical abuse. He certainly isn't helping with the weigh issue if he is being verbally/mentally abusive - people often comfort eat when they are subjected to that (this may not or may not be relevant to you).
I think for your health and the health of the child you are yet to conceive - you should seek proper help with your marriage. Lets face it men can be stupid - they just don't get things. Perhaps you should try therapy - if he wont go with you, go alone. it is not a good sign that you are considering staying with someone who treats you the way you are.
This might annoy you (because you are not currently experiencing it), but there are men out there with loving hearts and kind souls - they aren't easy to find, but they are out there.
Stay strong, and good luck with having a baby. xxx
2006-06-06 02:17:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't, no one has the right to make you feel inferior or hurt your feelings. There is no reason for his behavior and if he really loved you he would not say those things.
Maybe you need to talk with him and tell him he is being hurtful, if it is possible, he might be trying to motivate you (although he is being cruel doing it). Gaining weight is not necessarily bad unless it is excessive. IF there are health problems associated with YOUR weight gain then you might need to work on it. Otherwise, you are trying to have a baby for both him and you not just yourself, so tell him to be more sympathetic.
2006-06-06 01:24:47 · answer #4 · answered by HK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you should stay. I assume that you both had made the decision to try and have a baby, so since he was a part of the decision process he just has to deal. I would say you don't need him though. You need someone to support you in all that you do just the way you are, not how he/she wants you to be. Good luck and I hope it all works out for the best.
2006-06-06 01:23:30 · answer #5 · answered by beccasmom1224 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, he is nasty!! dont let his rude remarks get you down! God created a lovely woman whom He loves very much! Dont try to change the way you look just to keep your husband happy! He is breaking your self-esteem and he is the one making you look fat!! And who cares if you gained a little weight, you tried to give him a baby, for heaven's sake!
i know how hard it is to let someone go whom you really love!! but in the end it might be for the best! Dont ever let him treat you like that! You are pretty and healthy, thats what counts!!
2006-06-06 01:27:19 · answer #6 · answered by winterose* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to such a man. He was cruel and mean to me. When I was pregnant with twins he constantly made fun of me. I was large in the gut because I was carrying two babies. He would say things to my OB like isn't she fat? Can't you put her on a diet? My OB made him leave the room on several occasions. Told me in that he was abusin me. He said my breast look like cow udders. He refused to be seen with me in public when I got to the end of my pregnancy. It was awful.
I would say your husband is a mean person. I know how you can lose a hundred plus pounds quickly. Divorce his butt. He doesn't deserve you.
2006-06-06 01:48:23 · answer #7 · answered by Constance Olivia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dr. Phil basically had a female on a pair of weeks in the past that became on your comparable place. He advised the husband to 'GET genuine' what he became doing to her became a variety of abuse & all she will do is insurrection against it. in the adventure that your determining two times an afternoon, it is a number of muscle that your gaining additionally. i might particularly think of two times approximately having toddlers with this individual. in case you do in contrast to him speaking to you like that, your gonna be particularly annoyed while he talks to the main invaluable human beings on your genuine looking that. you will finally end up getting divorced with the aid of fact which you won't be able to agree. you would be able to desire to get your husband some help, no longer you. Your nice basically the way you're, in case you want to shed some pounds, then do it. in the adventure that your happy the way you're, they do no longer. yet do no longer enable everybody enable you be responsive to methods you will desire to experience approximately your self.
2016-10-30 07:30:23 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out! If he can't stick it out with you the whole way and help motivate, you don't need him. Find someone who will be there in a time of need, no matter the situation.
2006-06-06 02:38:29 · answer #9 · answered by princeofdaarkness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, move on he doesn't really love you. See your doctor about loosing the weight.
2006-06-06 01:24:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋