My husband and I got married in September 2005. He has a few ex girlfriends that email him and he emails back. But he doesn't tell them he is married. He is currently in Iraq right now. He still hasn't told his sons mother that he is married because if she finds out right now she might not let him see him for awhile like she has a few times before.
I just don't get why he is still letting these girls email him and not telling them he is married and kind of leading them on that they might have anoher chance. The emails arent like I love you so much, miss you, blah blah, it's like how are you, I am fine, ect...
Actually one was, he asked for a picture of her and if she has yahoo messenger..But I confronted him about all of this and he said he will take care of it. I just don't know why he still has contact with them and wont tell them he is married. I only know of 1 ex of his that knows that he still has contact with because I know her sort of...kinda hard to explain.
2006-06-05 22:47:05 · 16 answers · asked by missy61886 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
He's not cheating or anything. Not telling the girls he loves them ect...Just talking...It bothers me and he knows it...We havn't talked about it in a while because he said he would take car of it. He just talks to them like normal people but what bothers me is that there ex's.
2006-06-05 22:51:59 · update #1
I know he loves me I think is is just scared if he tells them they will hate him and he wants to be friends.
2006-06-05 23:05:59 · update #2
I totally understand what you mean and how you are feeling my boyfriend did the same thing, he has this ex and for some reason he never would tell her we were dating... i got pissed as hell when she would message him and he would go running to answer her message. i finally had enough and screamed at him eather its me or her. he of course found every excuess for why it was ok for her not to know... but i stood my ground and gave him a certain time. when the time got closer i started packing my stuff. he finally told her, and she had a **** fit. I didnt care and i told him "thats it its me or her" he picked me.
you gotta stand your ground... he shouldnt be hidding you in the dark., these women need to knwo YOU are the new wife... YOU are the one in his life and they have no chance. as for the one who has his kid..... he can fight against that. you are his wife and will be a part of this kids life as well. the mom will have to get over it
2006-06-05 22:56:37 · answer #1 · answered by Kittie_Nash 5 · 8⤊ 1⤋
Look, this could all be no "big deal", but it could also lead to something worse. I'd let him know how you feel, and then if he continues, tell him it's really bothering you and you don't understand why hurting you doesn't affect him. Seriously ... I've been in the Army for a long time and I've seen stuff like this turn really nasty. Not saying he's cheating, just warning of what could come ... If I were you, I'd let the ENTIRE FREE WORLD know that ya'll two were married. There should be NO REASON whatsoever that he can't admit to ANYONE (including his ex) that he's married to such a beautiful and loving woman as you. This may not be nothing to worry about ... then again ... it could be alot Bigger than you think.
Good luck with all this.
2006-06-06 01:32:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know you or your husband well enough to be sure of things.
It's possible that, since he's in Iraq, he feels lonely and needs communication in order to feel secure while there. The last thing a person wants to do is cut himself off from his limited support network. He's afraid the girls might cut loose if he lets them know there's no chance to get together with them.
(Still, is he e-mailing any GUYS? Or just his "ex's?" He should have a well-rounded support network of men and women, not just ex-gf's.)
It's also possible that he's still not sure about marrying you and is not wanting to burn his bridges. That's not a great sign for your marriage -- it means he is still considering a strategic retreat and isn't committed. Asking for a picture of one is another sign that he still has feelings for these other women.
The issue with his son's mother is a different one. There might be legal recourse for that, to enforce custody, but it will be some work and energy to implement.
Since it sounds like he was divorced or at least his old relationship did not work out, he probably is bringing that baggage (distrust of wife) into your relationship as well. That's something to think about as well.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
2006-06-06 05:30:19 · answer #3 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in your shoes before, you cant stop them (well i can't stop my husband) he said that this is only friendship conv.
What i will do is doing the same thing as he does, and if he asking you why you do that then you can says "i want to know what kind of feelings do you have when you are chatting with your exes" i know probably it is not worth it but at lease you try and you know how it feels when you're chatting with your exes and from that you will understand what exactly his feelings when he chatted too and when you start to feel bad and you thing its wrong then you tell your husband that when you chat with your ex without telling him that you are married you felt guilty and ask him if he has the quilt like you do or not.
Its all depend on trust even though im not 100 % trust my husband but at lease i trust him that he will not going to hurt me.
2006-06-06 05:19:47 · answer #4 · answered by Diamond 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Missy--girl you are in the middle of a classic play day fiesta and right now YOU my dear are the pinata---married men can have female friends but not ones that do not know he's married---he is lying to you all---to them by what he is not telling them and you for what he is---there is only ONE reason why a married man conceals his "commitment" and that is to allow himself the options that come with the preceptions that he is free and available---and I guarantee you that the ones you know about are simply the tip of the iceburg my dear--God only knows--get this cleared up or prepare yourself for some extremely rough days ahead.........
2006-06-05 23:09:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am an Army wife and before we got married he was telling everyone from his exs to his family and we were engaged a week before we got married. Something is not right he should be bragging.
2006-06-06 02:01:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
********, you know it and he knows it!! it is a cop out for him to be afraid to tell his sons mom that he got married, asumming that your husband isn't stupid, I'm sure he knows that he has rights to see his son, and just needs to persue them in court, as far as the rest of his cyber friends ,they may just be to pass the time in Iraq,however the real test comes when he gets home, any real friend would respect his marriage,so if there's no relationship with benifits going on he should man up and confess his marital status to his ex's,unless of course they might cut him off from whatever he was getting... stop making excusses for him, either he loves and respects you or he doesn't and you allow it to continue.
2006-06-06 00:14:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's got all the signs of a cheater you need to get rid of him his babies mama can't legally not let him see the kids because hes married so that's just lazy not going to court when she does that and with all these exs hes emailing and not saying hes married hes looking for something other then you
2006-06-05 22:53:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds like a style of chest banging adult males. no longer something rational, and smart will artwork in this form of guy. A 4 twelve months previous would not understand sexuality,and your stunning they don't be responsive to male or woman it particularly is a TOY! . yet your husband seems to be making it an argument approximately his sexuality. So, I advise you innovations F*** him and injury it down so even he can understand. You ask him, So what your asserting is...IF Barbi became a real female status in front of you stunning now. you will possibly you turn her away? (would desire to be an thrilling answer) the two way...gay! with the aid of fact in accordance to you, in case you needed to "play" together with her, you would be gay, stunning? Then say, perchance our son basically enjoys the corporation of an attractive great BOOB BLONDE female! might you quite that your son see's Barbi bare, or G.I. Joe? reason i will enable you be responsive to which one might certainly make me think of he became gay!
2016-10-30 07:27:02 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really Loved you he would be bragging to all his girl friends about the wonderful wife he now has.A least thats the way l would see it if l were in his position. Ask him why he's hidding this from his friends, is he ashamed of you?Don't give him sex til he gives you a straight answer.
2006-06-05 23:03:00 · answer #10 · answered by catsclaw 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋