ok--- i had my first Love 15 years ago , my only real love ever?

Question

For years after we broke up , he would call me once a year to come over & be with him- and the next day he would have a friend to come over bright and early & say come on dude we gotta go, so that i would leave.
Well , this year i called him up to see how his life was going. And , he told me what a coincidence i have been thinking so much about you lately. When we got together , he told me that he had never had another relationship like the one that we had. He also said , that no one ever made him feel the way that i did.
So , we tryed getting back together . I told him if things did not work out , i really hoped that we could be friends. I told him that i really wanted him in my life , however i could get him.
And , everything was wonderful- until we had sex. It turns out that our rythems are so off , that it is not even funny. I stupidly said something about it , and he moved away . How can he still talk to me after what i said?Does it mean anything , that he still does?

He hasn't called me once a year , in about 10 years. And this time when we talked/hungout , it was on going for 2 months. I myself think that i have something that he needs when he breaks up with someone , that helps him to heal enough , to be able to start again---> with someone else . Since he only calls me when he has broken up with someone else.

Answer 1

Well I guess I'll just come right out and say it...

1) If he truly loved you and wanted your relationship to work (other than an occasional evening with you - in or out of bed), he wouldn't call once a year, right?

2) If the comment was that offensive to him, I doubt that he'd continue to speak to you after that! Althought I believe it to be an excuse - to once again walk away :(

3) If he LOVES you and wants to be with you, you don't 'run away' and then call now and then.

You truly may be his first love and things may be different with you and all that. What you need to hear clearly though, is that MEN do not let a woman slip through their fingers for NOTHIN! They are afraid someone else wil catch you and that scares them! They will pursue and pursue... and he doesn't appear to be doing that.

My last observation, is that you are using this relationship to hold on to 'what could be' versus what reality IS today! He's not there with you, he's not real interesting in BEING there with you for anymore than 1 time a year right? So that TELLS ME all I need to know, and I hope it does for you too!

Take this as a learning lesson.. you cannot move forward until you let go of the past, and I REALLY hope that you find your way, and find a most wondeful relationship, that is way better than you ever dreamed of this being :)

I wish you all the best, and mend your broken heart, don't call and ummm 'cut him off' with gotta go! When he calls.... if he's that interested, he'll come RUNNING.. or at least calling more regularly and then you'll know that HE has to chase in this case so if yuo want it to finally work.....keep him chasing :D

Answer 2

Listen Sex is a big thing. Maybe he got dissepointed too. Give him some time. Talk to him, tell him how you feel. If you want this relationship to work. You gotta be able to talk. Sex is a compromise. A big step to take together. Something you two are supposed to be able to talk about!