Ok me and my girl friend have decided to have a child.We are young but we think it will help our relationship.

Question

She is 15 and I am 16.I have doubts as does she.We still want the child,so will yall plz help us amke our descision.Also we want this child to help us with our familys.it might get us out of our parents custody who misatreat us greatly.

Answer 1

having a child is not an assurance for the relationship to last long... don't think about yourself... think about the future you can give to your child... having a child is not easy as it sounds... About getting out on your parent's custody.... have you ever asked yourself why your parents are acting or treating you that way... be mature enough to solve things.... solve your problem alone not at the expense of your future child...

Answer 2

Okay I am not trying to sound mean, but you need a dose of reality here. First of all, are you ready to give this child a home, food, clothing, toys, health insurance, just to name a few things? Second of all you are only 15, are you going to quit school so you can work full time to support your child and girlfriend? What kind of job to you want to get? Chances are you are not going to get a good one without a high school diploma. Also, you say that your parents mistreat you badly. How old where they when they had you? Where they in the same kind of situation? Do you think maybe they are stressed out by providing for you? I am really sorry that your parents are like that and it is not your fault. I would tell a councler at school how your family life is. A child will not cause you anymore freedom from your family. It will cause you to be more tied down and have much less freedom then you have with your family now. Children are a blessing, but they take alot of time and support. I was 19 when I had my child and I still wasn;t as prepared as I would have been if i was older. I wish you luck and hope you and your girlfriend can come to a decision that is best for everyone.

Answer 3

Bringing a child into the world is definately not the solution to relationship problems.

True, everyone loves a baby. But the baby is not the mechanism for solving your problem because the problem exists before the baby. In fact, the advent of a baby might make things worse for all concerned in the end.

Also, theres a tendancy to use the same child rearing strategies that our parents used...mostly because it's the only ones we know. I would say, if theres abuse from your parents...ultimately, this is where YOU yourselves are headed when you become parents.

You break the chain by waiting, watching other parents, and learning new strategies for child care. This takes time and lots of friends that have babies.

Babies don't come with a user manual or instructions - no one expects anyone to be a perfect parent...however, there is an expectation that you are a responsible parent capable of providing for your infant.

Answer 4

If your relationship cannot survive by itself, adding a child will only make it worse. Taking care of a baby requires massive amounts of work and stress, which could seriously damage your relationship. Ever wonder why married couples fight? Have a baby and find out! The stress of work, raising kids, and trying to have enough money to take care of a family, and still have some kind of life, can be enough to drive some to drink, literaly! And at your age, since kids cannot generally have full time jobs, and have school to worry about, it will be even worse! Add to this the fact that the two of you aren't married, which makes having any kind of normal family impossible, until you two get married.

If you are having problems with your relationship, the last thing you need is a baby. That would be like trying to take the pain away from a paper cut by breaking someone's leg. What you need is to work on the relationship, and find out what the problem is. Sit down, talk it out, and work it out.

Also, as for your parents, having a baby isn't likely to help you get out of their custody. In fact, it will likely just make you MORE dependant on them. If they mistreat you, you need to get help! Talk to a teacher, a principal, a guidance counselor, a church minister, a police officer, SOMEONE! There are laws against parents mistreating children, and getting help is a sure-fire way to break free from their custody. Don't be afraid to ask someone for help.

I hope and pray that everything works out well for you and her. And I hope and pray that you both make the right descision and wait, don't act rashly, and get help. God bless you!

Answer 5

To be honest it might get you away from your parents but you two will still continue to have problems, dont you both want to do something in life, I always had dreams wehn I was younger, I am only 22, I am not ready for a child, I am still a child myself, I say don't do it, it won't solve problems only make them harder baby are expensive, maybe run away educate yourselves get a good job, get rich then have kids so you can give them the world, raise them with minimal money too hard... just my opinion though, are you really ready to give up your lives for another little one, I am not, I love partying doing what I want, you can't do that whn you have a child.....

Answer 6

no no no....bad idea. A child will only make things harder, and with you two being so young it would be really hard to provide for a child. It doesnt matter how mature you are...even if you were the two most mature teenagers in the world, most people wont give you a job until you are 18, so how are you going to feed it? You should wait! You've only got a couple of years to go with your parents...just be patient then you have a lifetime of whatever you want to do!

Answer 7

A child will probably not help your relationship. And if that's the only reason you want to have a child, you're not ready for one. Your relationship with your girlfriend should already be solid before you even think of bringing a third person into it. Especially when that third person is a defenseless child.

Answer 8

I feel that bringing a child into this world to help "YOUR" relationship is selfish. You are both too young, it would be children looking after a child. Have you thought of how your going to provide? you mention doing this could also help get you away from your parents, so just how are you going to provide? for yourselves and this baby? I think you should listen to your doubts! I'm sorry but its selfish, think of the baby please! Also think of yourselves, you are both young, you have all your years ahead, you are going to be stuck with a baby 24/7! A baby is not a toy to help situations, it's a real little person, please think about what your doing!

Answer 9

A child is only going to cause WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY more trouble then relieve any. You both are two young to even have jobs and support it, so guess who carries the burden, YOUR PARENTS, and if they are mistreating you. they are going to mistreat the baby as well. If you guys are having family problems talk to a school counseler. If they are that bad call the cops. There are REAL people out there who can help you, NOT A BABY.

Answer 10

HORRIBLE idea. its a lot more work then you think. as for getting out of your parents custody, i dont know what the rush is. and if you do have kids, youre going to need them more then ever. you're too young to realize how much life you have in front of you. You're going to change. Your ideas and opinions and goals and dreams are all going to change drastically. If you have a child, you could lose out on a very important part of your life.