Im i invading my husbands privacy?

Question

.My husbands chats online for hours with his friends in french and when i ask what they are talking about he gets all mad and says "aw come on giveme a break" i dont see what im doing wrong?? I was just courious.I love him so much but he always acts like he's hiding something. He tells me im always suspicious but he is always doing suspicious stuff like closing windows on the computer, putting a password on everything, im not allowed to ask questions. Is this my fault what should i do?

the thing that makes me most mad is why doesnt he just ask nicely for some privacy instead of getting all defensive and hostile and belittling me in the process i would give him some privacy he just needs to be straight up and ask for it.

i did the translating stuff and most of it doesnt translate because they speak slang, like break to the crib(that wouldnt translate to french.

Answer 1

I could not answer any better than "smw" (above)

She is on the money!

Answer 2

You have a right to know. This is your relationship, your marriage, and there is something wrong. This isn't nit picking or being nosey. There's a thing called a keylogger that you can get, it's pretty inconspicuous but you can use it to find out what he's been typing on the computer. Then you take a copy to the library or something and try to translate it. You can also use it to find out passwords. Check out this website.

http://www.womansavers.com/

It has information on how to catch a cheater and info about the keyloggers too. Read it before you confront your hubby. It has info also on what to look for in his behavior that might tip you off to cheating. And it has forums where you can ask questions and get support and advice from other men and women. It's very good, done in good taste and the people are compassionate and understanding.

Answer 3

Wow, I'd like to know what that guy is hiding. Okay here's the deal. He's very protective of his privacy. It's important to know a lot of things about each other in married couples. But it is also important to have quiet alone time, or otherwise you'll blow eachothers brains out from being together all the time. If I were you I'd find something private to do while he's on the computer. Like read a book, write a letter to someone. When you start doing this he'll be curious and wonder what you're up to. Eventually he might spend more time with you if he knows you have better things to do than wonder what he's doing on the computer.

Answer 4

have you ever thought that its a way for him to escape and be 'one of the boys' and talk about dirty things and whatnot, while not harming anyone, he probably knows you will get the wrong idea if you saw what they talk about/joke around about.

So he comes off looking as though he is hiding something because he's scared you'll think he's up to know good, when its probably just harmless fun.

Closing down windows and acting suspicious doesn't always mean he is up to no good, cut him some slack and just trust him, I would only really get concerned if he started acting differently away from the computer as well. If not let him have his own fun with his friends, and try not to let it worry you.

At least he's doing it at home and not out at a club.

Answer 5

He could be cheating (long-distance gf)...or there are other possibilities:

1) It is standard to password protect these days, everyone does.
2) Maybe he is closing windows because he is done with him. Heck, I minimize Yahoo Answers so my wife doesn't know I am wasting my time here instead of planting flowers or something!
3) Maybe he is looking up "naughty" stuff on the Internet. Should you be concerned with that? Probably not.

I would be concerned with him speaking another language, and not translating. My wife is Chinese, and she always translates for me, even if she is having a private conversation with her friends on the phone. Secrets aren't healthy. You are his wife. You should be the one feeling the red flags. If there is something there, you should sense it...we cannot, we don't know you or him. He does sound controlling and freakish though...is he from France? Maybe that is the reason!!

Best luck.

Answer 6

here is the answer to your removed question about your plight in life...

growing up in a unloving enviroment with no good role model will pretty much gurantee you end up in poor choices in men, seeing how you are a poor judge in character and more than likely compromise just for the sake of feeling loved and validated, you seek to please someone so as not to feel abandoned but lack the inner strength to have high standards for yourself, you have not forgiven yourself for your past even though it's NOT your fault ( hence the opening statemnt of bad luck from day 1 ), and thus like those who feel like life is pre ordained and their destiny written in stone you see no upside much less a promising future and thus settled. I can guarantee you there were signs of you current soon to be ex husband that you choose to ignore and hoped would not be a problem for the sake of getting married, it no different that those who bough real estate at high prices with risky loans because they felt if they waited they would be shut out for life, and all the while the "friendly" loan agent was working you emotinally just to get a big fat commission, later in hindsight when interest rates rose and your ARM loan payment went you go into denail that you got taken.. later in foreclosure you finally admit you were wrong.
and that's were you must learn to go..
to admit you errored in judgement is powerrful and reaffirming
as you LEARN from error ( and hopefully never repeat the same mistake again ) and grow up anf go foward from there. Those who sulk in there failures do in deed self sabotage there futures by there own valition. So divorce, the road ahead will be hard, I would not wish your fate on anyone, but from there you must remain true to yourself ( I am sure deep inside remain a loving mother, a beautiful and vibrant women ), be strong for your children ( less they repeat YOUR mistakes ), be happy for them and have faith in the future and mankind.. seek a better enviroment pysically and emotinally, and free yourself from the chains of self doubt and pity.

Mahala

Answer 7

NO , its not your fault. What you should is make him tell you and tell me to give you the password. There is no reason for him to have a password. If you have suspicion than they are right and follow your heart. Is that the way you want to live wondering what is he doing. Its makes you think what else is he finding. You are the only the one who knows him . Good luck!

Answer 8

no i don't think this is your fault. first his your husband he shouldn't shut you out of things. its a bit hard to say anything because i dont know either one of you. he might just want some privacy to talk to his mates. but if this was happing to me i would think somethings up but if its just on the computer i wouldn't worry to much as long as he dosn't start sneaking off or lying about being at work.
sorry i couldn't help any more

Answer 9

That is a hard one. I don't think you invasive enough. If he is hiding things then think of it as hide and seek. I don't snoop necessarily on my husband, he never gives me reason, but I do ask questions, as he does of me. Tell him how you feel, and figure out how to break in to his past activity, where there is a will there is a way.
Good Luck

Answer 10

Well if u feel he is hidding some thing then talk to him. what kind of relation is that between husband and wife if u cant ask questions about his friends and give him a break?? from what

Answer 11

Walks, talks, and acts like a cheat..... sounds like a cheat to me. Maybe get your own computer, get on those chat lines, and when he asks you what your doing, tell him to buzz off. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Good luck.