How important is honesty in friendships?

Question

Where is the line between being open with your friends and saying too much? I am so tired of the superficial, faked geniality of some of my friends, but I find that if I let my guard down and lay my personality and concerns out there too quickly, people get very defensive and uncomfortable.

Is there a happy medium? How do you get to that point with people where you know you can trust and rely on them? Why are some people so distant?

I know you can't force someone to care, but I want more from my friendships than happy chatter and timely jokes.

Answer 1

if you really trust a friend, then there will be no problem telling a true friend something. You'll know when you meet the people. Some people are distant because of the lives that they have and they may not know how distant they are.

Answer 2

Honesty is very important and nothing is worth the things when lying causes it will eat at someone eventually one way or another so why lye and if there a true friend they wouldn't ask you too. Good luck but still i stand tall on this one Honesty is best in everything no matter the end results they will see you are a true friend if not then there loss.

Answer 3

I firmly believe that you can never be too honest with a true friend. I have a girlfriend who i am very very close to. We tell each other everything and are comfortable with each other in all situations. If you're finding that your so called friends are being defensive then i would say that they don't know u very well and don't seem to want to understand you. TRUE friends are hard to find, keep looking and until then be yourself no matter who you're around. I too have found that i tell too much too soon. The feelings get hurt but live and learn...you'll find true friendship if you are true to yourself.

Answer 4

Well the main thing is u have to be honest with urself and sensitive to other peoples feeling.Be open but dun let ur conversation effect in hurting others.People are usually uncomfortable cauz they have seen you for soooo long under the same limelight that itz hard 4 them to believe.Juzz give them time.And don't go about pouring ur heart out to everybody you meet.Just reserve it to people who care about you and you care about.

Answer 5

u need to expand Ur circle of Friends.find some that u can actually talk to about anything and u can keep the ones with the happy chatter for when u miss that.U can not change people.i believe even they have that certain Friend they confide in.

Answer 6

just be yourself, honest on everything but always trust your instinct, that is what i did.

i have one and only best friend other than my husband that i know i can open up with my whole being. there is no malice in our talk, no matter what it is. i guess i've been knowing him since we are kids that is why he knew where im coming from. we talk open on everything and i know he never judge me. we are closer than a brother and sister relationship, we love and care towards one another and i guess that is the only friend i need. someone you can trust, depend and rely on his advice and appreciate his understanding towards me and my problems. we lived thousand of miles away from each other but i know it does not matter cause we are just phone call away. we cry on each other, we share laughter and tears of joy on everything. everytime i go back home, we take vacation together, we enjoy every bit of it. we visits churches, shop together, karaoke bar, movies, arcades and we do travel far spending time together around the country or outside the country.

there is no line between our friendship, we are role model to each other. we know people don't understand our relationship, but we do not mind them at all, they are just jealous of our friendship. but then, if im single i want to marry a guy like him, and i know he always adore me and idolize me other than his mom. we almost gotten married, but then again, my family and his family been knowing each other before we were born. and now, my husband understand our relationship and i know that is rare cause he feel that we are bonded since we are young and its hard to keep a distant on that one. so im pretty lucky to have two guys in my life that i can cherish with..one with my heart and mind and another with my body and soul...those are the qualities that i have now and i know im lucky to have them both.....

however, i wish you will find someone you can open up to, like my friendship with the two best men in my life..just watch out, be good to yourself, be honest and hope your feelings won't get hurt..good luck...

Answer 7

Some people can only handle so much and if you get too personal and wussie then you get treated like a dweeb. So you usually know who can talk to honestly and it's best usually to keep it that.

Answer 8

There's a difference between being honest and being totally exposed.

Answer 9

sometimes when you're not honest to you're friends and later they find out its a huge problem so try always to tell them the truth but sometimes keep somethings to yourself

Answer 10

Honesty is friendship......................with out honesty you are not a friend to begin with and to say it with love.............you cant say to much.........................The people that get defensive and uncomfortable usually don't have many friends anyway........................and certainly are not ready to be your friend.................Some people just don't want friends............and you will know when you find a friend ............a real friend...........the openness goes both ways...............that is why they call it friendship....................friend is one who is honest and opens up and ship mean to be joined together in agreement.............................Hope you find a good friend and you will................................................