Doe this mean he is cheating?

Question

take care of him and our newborn baby. He recently had an incident that put him in ICU I nursed him back to health.
The funny thing is that when he was in the hospital I called his job to call him off. When the secretary found out she ran down to the ICU department to check on him like 15 minutes after I called.
I was taking with the doctor and when I came back in she was there. She told me to leave my husband and let her stay with him, while he was in ICU. She gave him a $100.00 gift card and does other special things for him. I also found her cell number in his phone. When and several missed calls from her. When I called her on the cell of course our number came up but she gave me an alias number. He described her as having big breast. He says that I am just too jelous. He does not sleep with me and we are not physical much because the baby is 2 months. I have not got my looks back yet although I am working out again. Should I worry? Is she just nice am I just paranoid?

I had to ad since my last post. I decided to ask about it. And immedietly he said let's get a divorce. Right off the bat no questions asked doesn't wanna talk about it

Answer 1

Wow, I am sorry hear what an A$$ this man was to you. You can do better than him anyway honey. I know it will take time, but it is probably better this way then having a child with him and him not wanting to take care of the child when he/she is older.

Answer 2

I really hate that for you. So now that you have the answer what are you going to do? I know it is a wide range of emotions that go on when you just had this man's child and then this!?! Confusion, anger, guilt, desperation, maybe even depression. But just trust that this happened for a reason. Easier said than done, truly. Really just take the time to ask for guidance from God. Don't make any sudden moves or decisions. Take the time to ask and listen. I wish I would have done this. But it is important. To sit still with all of this drama going on is not easy but so important, especially since there is a child involved. I hope everything works out and that something I said may help but you ultimately must make the decision.

Answer 3

I am so sorry to hear about this kind of situation. This to me, where obviously your husband had this friendship going at work, before he got very sick and in the ICU, increased feelings on both sides. I don't think you are being paranoid at all. It is hard enough going through being pregnant, having a baby and you're now stressing out and worrying about this? I think your husband sounds like he is a child himself who is worrying about his own needs and not yours or his new baby!! I don't know your ages but have to say, he doesn't sound too mature. He sounds like he needs and wants to be taken care of, instead of knowing how to or learning how to help himself. Or even better, that he help you out, with the chores around the house, the baby, and all of it. That first year of adjustment, is the hardest and to me, he is being a coward, and choosing the "easy" way out. Now you write, called him on it and he says he wants a divorce? No questions asked, just what is that? He doesn't want to try any kind of therapy. Sounds like bad news and it is very hurtful to you. I am praying for you and the baby and that you two have a good support system of friends and family. You're going to need it!!! Will keep you in my prayers extra tonight........take care of YOU and your 2 month old!!! :)

Answer 4

Your now living you you and you baby and if you think that he is cheating all this is going to do is depress you I say test him if you have a good male friend then allow him to do some similar things for you if he notices thane it is because you and the baby are what is focused on but if dose not notice anything say example you friends calls late at night or drops by unexpectedly or even offers to babysit but if he doesn't notice ant of the following then maybe he is but at no point in time allow him to take more form you then your getting from him no husband and I had a very ruff patch in our marriage but all the kidding aside pray to Thar Lord and ask him to fix and thing that is wrong in you marriage and hold to his word and stand when there is nothing else to do.....

Answer 5

I am so sorry to hear that you have to deal with this type of situation so soon after bringing this little angel into the world. There is nothing anyone can say or do that is going to make this any better for you at this time. Just be greatful that since he is having this affair that you have not been exposed to anything that could cause significant harm to your health.
Good luck with your new angel and focus on your little one who will need you forever.

Answer 6

well sorry to say this happens alot when a child is born. ( I'm very sorry for you and the baby) If you read the Book ( His Needs, Her Needs) By willard Harley Jr. he shares reasons why affairs happen in a marriage.
to put it in basic language ( 1 or more of his 5 basic needs went unmet to the point that his love bank left him vernerable to another woman)

During pregnency usually the mother is showered in love and affection. while hubby is barraged by the demanding wife ( Honey can you run to the store and get me some sardines and ice cream?) to ( You bastard you did this to me) They even hear horror stories from other men about how ( sex ) his most basic need will never be cared for again ( usually true unfortunately)
But he also looses out on ( quality time alone with his spouce) another of his basic needs. Below I listed each genders ( usual basic Needs) all 5 of these need to be present in a healthy marriage if any one is missing then that person is ( vurnerable ) to another person for an affair.

Without knowing the whole story my guess is not even marriage counciling can save this situation. BUt that does not mean you should at least give it the benifit of the doubt. Men do not understand emotional needs like women do. maybe by showing him how he made the mistake he can be a man and admit it and ask forgiveness. ( the question is can you forgive him?)
If you do you still have to understand
( He is not going to easily leave the other women. basically his love bank is in balance or slightly in her favor and quite honestly your going to be hurting him initally by forcing him to be accountable to you and to NEVER EVER see the other woman again. if he does then her sweet tongue will lead him down the path again before he has the ( Love Bank) or Emotional resistance to resist her offer.

Some how during this period the other woman was able in some way to communicate to your hubby her ability to care for his basic needs. weather it was through your misunderstandiing or simple because you was so focused on ( the baby) is errevelant. It's what you do from this day forward that matters.
( It may be a blessing for you as he might be a real {JERK} either way
It's going to be very painful but as you come through this time a very powerful life lesson.

( QUOTE FROM MARRIAGE BUILDERS ON BASIC NEEDS)

A wife tends to find her husband irresistible when he
learns to create an environment of affection that clearly and repeatedly expresses his love for her;
sets aside time every day just to talk to her with undivided attention and interest;
is completely honest and open with her;
provides financial support for her and;
is committed to the moral and educational development of their children.

A husband tends to find his wife irresistible when she
learns to join him in a sexual relationship they both find satisfying and enjoyable;
becomes his favorite recreational companion;
maintains overall appearance in a way that he finds physically attractive;
manages household responsibilities and;
understands and appreciates him more than anyone else.

BTW ( Sexual Fulfillment Understand & Appreciate, and Recreational Companion tend to be the top 3 although in different orders usually)


May God and his son Jesus be with you and grant you the strenth to meet the challenges you are to face.

God Blessing on your family

Answer 7

He may have given her a poke or two, but nothing serious yet.
If he tries to blame not wanting sex on you, feel free to turn the tables. Make him stay home with Jr. I don't care if you go out for an ice cream cone, let him stew in his own mess. Start to dress sexy, show extra boob around the house, get him worked up, then slam the door shut. Hint that HE needs work out some.
Make him beg.
Remember, guys think with the small head.

Answer 8

wow...that's all i can really say. you did so much for him..it's a shame to see such a great wife wasted =( i am so sorry to say this, but it might definitely be a cheating situation. just the secretary alone makes me shudder, let alone his automatic "let's get a divorce" statement. i hope things work out for you..and if you really do catch him creepin' around, i hope you represent all the women who've been cheated on and get even with him once and for all. men like that are nothing but a waste of space. kudos to you for remaining calm and rational!

Answer 9

i was going to answer until i saw what u added on. im really sorry. at least he answered it for u. now u can stop wondering and try to move on. he did the right thing by not continuing to live a lie. good luck to u and ur baby. if u have close family and friends, go to them now, u will need them.

Answer 10

take your pride and walk away with your baby and be happy. i've been through that and its no good on anyone, thank god your child's too young to understand what will happen in the next few weeks/months to be hurt by it.

once a cheat, always a cheat, i learned the hard way!