I am with a girl to who I have no feelings besides sexual attraction, and that isn't going anywhere because she has a one year policy when it comes to sex. On the other hand, I am completely and utterly in love with my best friend, and have been for several years, she tells me she loves me all the time, but she is in a relationship. I am very touchy, and we have had sex many times, but I want to be with her and she doesn't seem to want to break off her pervious relationship. What should I do, I am twenty now, going on twenty one, should I wait a few more years for her or should I keep trying to move on?
Also, should I break up with the person I am with right now? We haven't even had a romantic date, all we do is "Hang Out"
2006-06-05 16:23:38 · 7 answers · asked by Alex LaCroix 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
First of all.... have you told your best friend that you want to be with her? If not, my first suggestion would be to swallow your pride and tell her..... if you have already told her, but she has chosen her current partner over you, you definitely need to take steps to move on. In my experience you will only cause yourself more pain if you keep waiting for her (which raises another question..... how much longer would you be willing to wait? A year? Two?? Five???) Life is too short and too precious to spend years hoping that one day all your secret dreams and desires might miraculously come true.... dreams are only realised when you make conscious positive steps to make them happen! And this is stating the obvious, but it takes two to tango.... unfortunately we can't make somebody fall in love with us, so any relationship that is going to work takes TWO dreams. If you are meant to be together, life will provide the opportunity for that possibility..... if you aren't meant for each other, you will only come up against obstacles. Right now though, you need to be really honest and ask yourself if you truly believe that a relationship with her would actually work .... if the answer is no, you have to let go and move on. I know from my own two unrequited love experiences that it is far too easy to convince yourself that just the possibility of having your love returned one day will make up for years of unfulfilling, esteem-damaging, lonely, isolating heartache. If I sound dramatic it's only because in hindsight I can clearly see that I wasted years of my life waiting for my best friend to return the feelings I had for her.... I was miserable! And for what? Absolutely nothing! So Alex, I really think you need to ask yourself why you and your best friend aren't in a relationship already. If you have had sex many times, and are really best friends, what is preventing you two from being together? If you can't answer that, maybe your friend can. If it is only because she is a relationship with someone else, you need to respect her choice and wish her every happiness, and as I said, if you are meant to be with her, that opportunity will present itself to you both when the time is right. But I would still advise you to try to move on.... it's just not healthy to hang on indefinitely.... you are young and obviously intelligent and in touch with your feelings, so get out there and enjoy life. And if you happen to fall in love with someone else along the way..... how can that be a bad thing? Or, if you and your friend both enjoy relationships with other people for a while, but end up together in the end, your life experience will only add to what you have to share. Just trust that the best thing for you will happen.... when you can stop chasing so hard, you know you will have found what you truly need. If you love and respect yourself you will understand that when you give your heart and open your soul to someone, the very least you deserve is their love in return. Don't settle for being second best..... you're better than that!
Oh, and if "hanging out" with your current girlfriend isn't doing it for you, tell her you need more. If she's not willing to come to the party, find someone a little more giving. There are plenty of great, sexy, funny, caring, sharing girls in the world..... you just need to put yourself out there and you'll find one! Good luck :)
2006-06-05 18:35:11 · answer #1 · answered by moo71 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are cheating on your girlfriend now so yes you should break up with her. It is clear you don't care for her and will only hurt her if you keep doing things behind her back. That is not honest and unkind to keep her hanging on when you know you like somebody else. One the girl your sleeping with, you should stop because your becoming "the other woman" and that makes her a cheater. Find someone new. Move on. And try to be honest in your next relationship.
2006-06-05 16:42:33 · answer #2 · answered by MindStorm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, break up with the girl, it is getting you no where fat and isn't fruitfull to you at all, there is nothing she can do that you can't do to yourself. that would be symbol one to your friend, tell her that you broke up with her becasue it brings you one step closer o being with who you truly want to be with, her. If it pains you to see her with that other person tell her "Look i love you, you know how much you mean to me, and you have told me you feel the same." It isn't just hurting you, it will also hurt her and the girl she is with if they stay together in a semi unhappy relationship. I just helped my best friend with this problem. but the girl he loved would tell him that she couldn't stand to be without him and that her boyfriend wasn't good to her, but she never would break it off with him. And they were doing stuff together having sex and what not while she dated the other guy. It hurt him, her, and the other guy cause they all knew what was goin on. So finaly my friend told her, she had a month to either break it off with him or her boyfriend and that he couldn't just be her booty man any more. Cause really who wants to buy the cow when the milk is free!! Well she didn't break it off with either of them and wanted him to still wait for her. but he said no, it hurt really bad for a while after that, cause he saw them together, but he stood strong and found this new girl who makes him happier than she ever did and they are now to be married. he is the weakest person i know of, he had no back bone and would not stand up for himself at all so if he can do it so can you all it takes is a little courage
2006-06-05 21:01:32 · answer #3 · answered by spookiebutt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems as if you know it's not right with this current dating situation. It doesn't seem to have any substantial meaning to you.
But, if your dear friend isn't ready to be involved in a sincere love relationship with you, then by all means please move on and make the most of your life.
2006-06-05 19:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by Toolooroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just do it and stop making a yearly policy on sex
2006-06-05 16:39:32 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut the chick you "go out wit" and wait a little longer for the one you wanna be with......If all goes well...........
2006-06-05 16:54:56 · answer #6 · answered by T. Emopire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know.
2006-06-05 16:27:02 · answer #7 · answered by observing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋