what do u think about....?

Question

my 10 and 8 years attending their greatgrandmothers funeral?it will be closed casket?they both want to go.

Answer 1

Take them, they deserve the experience. If you shelter children, they won't know how to process the basics of life.

Answer 2

I went through this two years ago with my boys, who at the time were 5, 4 & 1 month. My boys had never met their great-great grandmother, but I took them any way. The wake was open casket. Before going to the funeral home I explained to them what to expect and why we were going. For what to expect: she was dead and in a casket, but it was just her body - her soul was already on its way to heaven. We were going to hear people talk about what they remembered most about her and ALOT of praying (mexican catholic funeral) There would be some crying from those who were having a hard time saying goodbye. For why we were going: mommy needed to say goodbye & mommy wanted them to not be afraid because death is natural and something that happens to everyone at some point. And that if we were all lucky like their great-great grandmother we would live a long full life.

I chose to take my boys and have them go through that experience because I come from a large family and it seems that while I was growing up at least every 2 years I was attending a funeral (both open and closed caskets) This experience helped me understand that it was okay to be sad as long as we celebrate the life that the person lived, and I wanted my boys to understand death in their terms without fear. Plus since they did not know her it was more of just a process for them. When the time comes that someone close to them does die, they wont be in a "culture shock" without understanding what's going on.

I believe that your children will be just fine attending their greatgrandmother's funeral. They are older than my boys so you should explain to them what to expect in their terms.

Good luck with what you decide.

Answer 3

Its o.k for 10 and 8 year olds to a funeral. Explain to them that it is a celebration of great grans life (I am assuming she was old) I think kids that age are wondering what a funeral is, best to be an older persons for the first funeral they go to. Don't want to sound mean but an older persons funeral although sad is not as sad as a younger persons for there first experience.

Answer 4

This is reality. They need to experience the good times and the sad times.
Last August I lost my Grandmother.
I thought hard about it and decided to bring the children.
They were 7,8,11. My 11 year old chose to stay outside. Later on he joined us, staying right by my side for most the time. Each one of the children were able to go, by choice, to the casket. They placed a photo with her and I think a drawn picture. My daughter, 8, asked to go a second time. My other son, 7, was curious about where his 'Nana' would go. I answered him with what I believe.
They didn't cry, although, I believe they felt sadness.
I cried...they saw me.
My son brought me a kleenex. my daughter held my hand.
Death can be a teaching of true sadness, peacefulness, and love.

You have to make the choice.
God Bless

Answer 5

I think it is a good idea that the children go to say good bye to their grandmother. When i was young and my pa died the funeral home suggested that for the part at the cemetery when the coffin is going down that you give them a helium balloon and they let it go so that they can watch the balloon going up to heaven rather than watching the coffin go into the ground. I think it adds a nice touch and then they are occupied for the saddest part of the funeral.
Sorry for your loss and i hope this helps!!!

Answer 6

Let them. They have to see the process of life and what the end has in store. Just make sure that you explain to them about the natural process that life take. They will understand. I was 8 when I went to my first funeral. Plus this is the way that they can mourn thier loss. And I an sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

I think that no matter what their ages are, it is going to be hard. Death is always a touchy subject. I believe if they were close to their great grandmother then they should attend. just tell them what they need to expect, that there might be alot of people there crying, and even in some cases people will reminisce on the good times they had with her. So i think that as long as they know what is going to take place, you should ultimately let them decide if they want to go. Explain to them if they decide not to go, then it is their decision.
Good luck.

Answer 8

They are old enough to know about death, and everyone needs to say goodbye. My son attended my dad's funeral at 10 months old. And ever since I have still talked about him and from that day told him that he is in heaven. Ten and Eight are definitely an ok age to have your children there. Just remind them that it is not a place to play and that it is a time to mourn the one they have lost.

Answer 9

It's going to happen to them at least once in their life....but why do the WANT to go?.....

I went to an open casket funeral when i was in the 3rd grade..i'm fine...i would have been much easier if it was closed though.

Answer 10

They already know more than we ever want them to at that age. I like the advice of giving them a little heads up before and explain to them, since this is an adult matter, as adults, what it is that they are going to attend. Especially if they are the ones that want to go, a chance to be there to honor their grandmother would be wonderful for them.

Answer 11

yeah, its a good idea. I attended funerals when I was younger than that, casket open, and I didnt freak out.
Good luck!