How come our parents think that we don't know what love is when we really do?

Question

The reason I asked this question is because when I was walking home with my boyfriend name Daiquan, he kept on telling me he love me and we kept on saying it back and forth to each other. Then he had called me that same night my mom was listening to our conversation and we was saying I love you I love you more and all this other stuff. Then when I got off the phone she called me and asked me do I know what love is and I said yea a little then she said what I said it's the opposite of love it's a strong word and it's how I feel about my boyfriend Daiquan then she said okay if that's what you think your wrong. So that is the reason why I want to know why they think we don't know what love is!!!!

Answer 1

I am assuming youre a teenager. You'll change so much during the next 10 years and your perspective on what "love" is will too. Its not very nice of her say that you dont know what it is at all, but you probably havent had enough experience to totally understand it. Try to cut your mom a break, you'll feel the same way when you have a teenage daughter.

Answer 2

you don't she is right, It took me a long time to figure some of it out and I still don't have it all figured out, and I thought I knew it all. what you and daiquan have is infatuation, there is a big difference in that and love. if daiquan went out and had sex with another gurl, you would be mad or upset, right? that isn't love, love forgives all. you would think, that's what daiquan needed and you would forgive him. love is not selfish. love is not possessive.
love is wanting what is best for the other person even though you may not want it. when you love someone, you never have to tell them, they know. mom is right sweetie.

Answer 3

There is a huge difference between feeling love and knowing what love is. Since humans have been able to talk, many great minds have tried to define a complex feeling in such a way as to make everyone understand it. And they have failed. While I agree with you and your perception of your love is valid, you need to understand that your Mother is speaking from the viewpoint of several more years of experience dealing with her own concept of love. She is trying to show you that you will learn more about your feelings as you get older. She's probably being mindful of how so many teenagers think that they are in love, have children, and struggle for the rest of their lives and undermine the possibility of having as good a life as possible because of the circumstances related to the inability to deal with the changes in life. We all change so fast well into our 20's and she doesn't want you to make a very common mistake that is an epidemic in our society. I don't know your mother or your situation but my advice would be to keep your mind open to her advice and don't reject it right away. Think about it. I don't condone her spying over the phone but she seems like a truly concerned parent and that isn't widespread as it should be. Take it from someone who was there.

Answer 4

I believe that there are different stages of love and yes, even teenagers are capable of having "adult" like feelings. What you're feeling won't last forever, love is ever changing. Love can't be defined by just one person, it's a unique feeling. New love is wonderful, thinking about absolutely nothing but when you'll see that person again....yes, I remember how that was....I've been with my husband for 12 years and even though that "newness" has long since worn off and albeit not a perfect marriage, I can look at him with disgust one minute, and with complete adoration the next. When you're with someone for a long time and you can wake up in the morning beside them and be happy about it, you're still in love.

Answer 5

There are differences between love and infatuation. Your mother probably thinks you and him are infatuated with each other. Basically, at the beginning of a relationship, two people are so excited about each other, so overwhelmed, that these feelings are mistaken for love. They are not love, they are an emotional high. True love takes a long time to develop, is not something easily broken, and takes a tremendous sense of commitment.

Answer 6

There's so many different kinds and levels of love and you probably do love Daiquan. But is it the kind of love that keeps people together through bills, babies, boredom, fights, sickness, etc.? Probably not, and that's the kind of love your Mom is talking about.

Answer 7

I don't know how old you are but maybe you are in love and your mom just doesn't think you really are. But also, a man will use the L-word to get into your pants. It sucks when he's done with you, it really does. And maybe your mom is just concerned. And anyway, if you are young, you will understand when you are older... that LOVE in your teens is VERY different from LOVE in your 20's. Be patient. Live, Love, and Learn.

Answer 8

Do you know that love is a decision you make about another person, not just a bunch of warm, fuzzy feelings you get when you think about them? Did you know that sometimes you have to decide to love someone as often as from one moment to the next? Did you know that sometimes people who have decided to love you will still say deeply hurtful things about you, even curse at you, perhaps throw things because they are so angry at you?

There's lots more, but I think you get the point: your mother has seen what it can cost to love someone and so has a very, very different view of what love is.

Answer 9

Parents are afraid of their children growing up too fast.
And it's true, most kids and teenagers do not know what love is.
There is puppy love, which most first loves are, but your not emotionally ready to make a commitment to someone. You're in school you have grades and projects and papers and college to worry about.

Even then, most adults do not know what love is either.

I don't doubt that you care deeply for this boy and I can not say wether you do or do not really love him, but your mother is just probably fearful her daughter is growing up so fast.

That's how my mother felt when I was younger. I had many lectures.

Answer 10

Because we are young and they don't think we understand, but when you are with someone and all you can think about is that person. You know what a meaning of love is. Parents were once in our shoes and they just don't want us to get hurt. I know I don't know the true meaning of love but who honestly does? They might know a meaning but who know the whole thing? Just keep it up with this guy, you never know he could be the LOVE of your life. Good luck.