My peers say if you "wonder" about guys that your gay,but adults say that's just a normal part of growing up.

Question

whos right???

Answer 1

Your parents are right. Any guy, especially a teen is not going to admit wondering about other guys. And they will fill your mind with all the BS they possibly can. Quit worrying about it. You are normal !!!

Answer 2

Hi, you did not say what you mean by "wonder," nor what your peer group is, but for general information:
Since Freud, students of the human condition have accepted that almost all people in gender-balanced societies (societies like ours where men and women regularly socialize and see each other every day,) go through a "homosexual phase" (as opposed to a homosexual or gay identity) during puberty and early adolescence. At this time, we tend to socialize largely with our own gender, and begin to construct our own identities based on gender models in our society (like sports figures, media icons, mentors - usually just a few years older than we are.) This concept is so accepted that we can find it everywhere from medical textbooks to web sites
http://www.webhealthcentre.com/general/sexual_medicine_adolos.asp
So comparing our "equipment" in gym, having "strong" feelings for a friend of the same sex, and even some basic sexual experimentation are all accepted as "normal" within the current theories of development.
But more than that, recent studies have shown that even in gender-separated societies ( where men and women are educated separately, and it is unusual for men and women to see each other every day - outside of the family,) where homosexual activity (usually as part of an "initiation,") is the norm for adolescents ( http://www.gettingit.com/article/56 ) the same general percentage of people end up leading what we would call heterosexual lives (marriage to the opposite sex, children, etc.) They are no more "influenced" by homosexual experiences than gay people in our society are influenced by "heterosexual" experiences.
In other words, it is indeed part of "growing up," to "wonder" about other guys now. No amount of wondering, or reading or learning is going to "make" anyone gay. If experience, or thinking, peer pressure or laws could change any part of a human, then long ago everyone would have become the same. It is our differences that keep us developing (as a culture) and interesting (as individuals.) Good luck.

Answer 3

I'd say the adults are right. It's pretty normal. But I guess that's coming from an adult's point of view. But I am pretty new at this being an adult thing.

Answer 4

Adults. LOL
Seriously, though, it is a normal part of figuring out your role in society. Especially nowadays with so much information out there. If you DIDN'T question things, that would be more unnatural! Your friends say it's gay, though, because they're afraid of their own feelings. Terrified.

Answer 5

You think all kinds of stuff growing up! I use to like seeing boobs and I'm not gay!
The adults are right. Just a stage.....

Answer 6

adults r right. ur peers don't know what they r talking about

Answer 7

it depends on what you "wonder" about. if its just a compare contrast that normal. if you wonder what certain things feel like then you maybe want to talk to someone about it.

Answer 8

adults remember they have been there and done that and lived to tell, and thats the truth that they speak

Answer 9

depends on what your "wondering"!