Please Check my Grammar.?

Question

This is my uncle's Profile(choir). I live in Korea and we have to show this paper to American conductor. Please help me. Does this paper make sense?

Bucheon Choice Choir was formed in January, 2000 by Mr. Hong-min Choi, Music Director and Principal Conductor and quickly became one of the most respected and successful choirs. They have shown essence of Chorus music with delicated harmony, clear sound, and a combination of riveting music.
Bucheon Choice Choir features of 23 female professional singers who graduated from University, majoring in Music. They perform many different genres of music such as Classic, Modeern, Jazz, Pop, Aria, Gospel, and Folk Songs. Also, They has been an inspiration to Korean Choral World.
Choral music which consists of an abundance of harmonic and facinating melody purify the mind of audience. It will give comfort and pleasure to people who are exhausted in life.

Thank you for you guys' helping.

It might be a huge help for me.

Answer 1

Bucheon Choice Choir was formed in January, 2000, by Mr. Hong-min Choi, Music Director and Principle Conductor. It quickly became a respected and successful choir. They have expressed the essence of choral music with delicate harmony, clear sound, and a combination of riveting music.
Bucheon Choice Choir features 23 female professional singers who have graduated with a major in Music. They perform different genres of music: Classical, Modern, Jazz, Pop, Aria, Gospel, and Folk. They have been an inspiration to the Korean choral world.
Choral music consisting of an abundance of harmonic and melodic differences has the capability of easing the turmoil in the minds of an audience. It can give comfort and pleasure to people exhausted with their everyday lives.

Answer 2

Bucheon Choice Choir was formed in January, 2000 by Mr. Hong-min Choi, Music Director and Principal Conductor. The Choir quickly became one of the most respected (location??). They have shown excellence in Choral styles with delicate harmony, clear sound, and a combination of riveting musical accompanyment.

Bucheon Choice Choir is composed of 23 professional female singers. They perform many different genres of music such as Classical, Jazz, Pop, Gospel, and Folk. With their inspired melodies, the choir has become an inspiration to the entire Korean Choral Community.

Answer 3

Bucheon Choice Choir was formed in January, 2000 by Mr. Hong-min Choi, Music Director and Principal Conductor. They quickly became one of the most respected and successful choirs. They have demonstrated the essence of chorus music with a combination of delicate harmony, clear sound, and riveting music.
Bucheon Choice Choir features 23 professional female singers. Each graduated from a university, majoring in music. They perform many different genres of music. These include Classic, Modern, Jazz, Pop, Aria, Gospel, and Folk.
They have been an inspiration to the Korean choral world.
Choral music, which consists of an abundance of harmonic and facinating melodies, purifies the mind of the audience. It will give comfort and pleasure to many people.

***It would help if you sat WHERE he is a music director and also WHERE they have become respected as a choir.

Answer 4

Hey. I included my changes and make the langauge a little more elequent. Hope I can help.

Bucheon Choice Choir was formed in January, 2000 by Mr. Hong-min Choi, Music Director and Principal Conductor. It quickly became one of the most respected and successful choirs. They have shown the world the essence of choral music: delicate melodies, clear sounds, and a combination of riveting harmonies.
Bucheon Choice Choir features of 23 professional female singers, performing many different genres of music such as Classic, Modern, Jazz, Pop, Aria, Gospel, and Folk. They have been an inspiration to Korean Choral World.
Choral music, which consists of an abundance of harmonic and fascinating melody, purify the mind of audience. It will give comfort and pleasure to those in need of spiritual renewal.

Answer 5

I have edited it for you so it flows better gramatically, though it probably needs more work it should be ok.


Bucheon Choice Choir was formed in January, 2000 by Mr. Hong-min Choi its Music Director and Principal Conductor and quickly became one of the most respected and successful choirs (in Korea?). They have shown essence of Chorus music with a combination of delicate harmonies, clear sound, and riveting music. Bucheon Choice Choir features 23 professional female singers who graduated from University as music majors. They perform many different genres of music such as Classic, Modern, Jazz, Pop, Aria, Gospel, and Folk Songs. They have been an inspiration to Korean Choral World.
Choral music consists of an abundance of fascinating harmonic melodies which purify the mind of its audience. It can give comfort and pleasure to people who are exhausted in life.

Answer 6

I'll paste your paper here and make a few minor changes:

Bucheon Choice Choir was formed in January 2000 by Mr. Hong-min Choi, Music Director and Principal Conductor, and quickly became a very well respected and successful choir. They have shown the essence of Chorus music with delicate harmony, clear sound, and a combination of riveting music.
Bucheon Choice Choir features of 23 female professional singers who graduated from University, majoring in Music. They perform many different genres of music including Classic, Modern, Jazz, Pop, Aria, Gospel, and Folk Songs. They have also been an inspiration to Korean Choral World.
Choral music, which consists of an abundance of harmonic and fascinating melodies, purifies the mind of audience. It will give comfort and pleasure to people who feel exhausted by life's challenges .

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Bucheon Choice Choir was formed in January, 2000 by Mr. Hong-min Choi, Music Director and Principal Conductor, and he quickly became one of the most respected and successful choirs. They have shown essence of Chorus music with delicate harmony, clear sound, and riveting music.
Bucheon Choice Choir features 23 female professional singers, who all graduated from Universities, their major being in music.They perform many different genres of music, such as Classic, Modern, Jazz, Pop, Aria, Gospel, and Folk Songs. Also, They have been an inspiration to Korean Choral World.
Choral music, which consists of an abundance of harmonic and fascinating melodies, purifies the mind of the audience. It gives comfort and pleasure to people who are exhausted in life.



This should ALL be correct.... I aced English class....Yeah, i am a loser, but a whiz!

Answer 8

Bucheon Choice Choir was formed in January, 2000 by Mr. Hong-min Choi, Music Director and Principal Conductor and quickly became one of the most respected and successful choirs in Korea. They have shown the essence of Chorus music with a combination of delicated harmony, clear sound, and riveting music.
Bucheon Choice Choir features of 23 female professional singers who are University graduates , majoring in Music. They perform many different genres of music such as Classic, Modeern, Jazz, Pop, Aria, Gospel, and Folk Songs. Also, They have been an inspiration to the Korean Choral World.
Choral music which consists of an abundance of harmonic and facinating melody purify the mind of the audience. It will give comfort and pleasure to people who are exhausted in life.

Answer 9

Bucheon Choice Choir was formed in January 2000 by Mr. Hong-min Choi, Music Director and Principal Conductor. It has quickly become one of the most respected and successful choirs. They have shown the true essence of Chorus music featuring delicate harmony and clear sound in a combination of riveting music.
The Bucheon Choice Choir features 23 female professional singers who graduated from University after majoring in Music. They perform many different genres of music such as Classic, Modern, Jazz, Pop, Aria, Gospel, and Folk Songs. They have also been a huge inspiration to Korean Choral World.
Choral music, which consists of an abundance of harmonic and fascinating melodies, can purify the minds of an audience. It can also give comfort and pleasure to people who are exhausted in life.

Answer 10

Bucheon Choice Choir was formed in January, 2000 by Mr. Hong-min Choi, Music Director and Principal Conductor and quickly became one of the most respected and successful choirs. They have shown the essence of Chorus music with a combination of delicate harmony, of clear sound, and of riveting music.
Bucheon Choice Choir features 23 female professional singers who graduated from University, majoring in Music. They perform many different genres of music such as Classic, Modeern, Jazz, Pop, Aria, Gospel, and Folk Songs. Also, They have been an inspiration to Korean Choral World.
Choral music which consists of an abundance of harmonic and facinating melody purifies the mind of the audience. It will give comfort and pleasure to people who are exhausted in life.

there you go! Good luck!