I have since forgiven him we have been married for 15 years, but I find myself treating him very badly, with putting him down or ignoring him or just giving him a dirty look here and there, I cant seem to just forget it, does anyone have advice to help me resolve this issue about myself. It just really hurt me and I want to feel better again.
2006-06-05 13:54:39 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i have had a similar experience. You need to understand that everybody makes mistakes. What really matters is if they learn from their mistakes. If you think that he knew he was wrong and he loves you unconditionally now then you need to forgive him and stop thinking about what happened. If you keep putting him down, chances are he will feel desperate and lonely and will do the same thing again. If you don't want him to do the same thing again then stop punishing him. If he is really sorry for what he did then forgive him and forget the past. You can't build future living in past. Forget it and try building your future with him... =)
2006-06-05 14:03:53 · answer #1 · answered by GlamGurl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once again now, repeat, its not cheating if they did not trade fluids somehow. I didn't say it was a good idea but it was not cheating. Your type of jilted behavior only reinforces his attitude. Perhaps you should offer a bit of what he was looking for on the internet. I have to know, was this like a web cam with nudity or just chat. The chat stuff is no different than reading a book actually. If you're angry that he's talking to another about sex it could have been worse. There are strip clubs where you can leave lots of dollars and still not have contact physically.
2006-06-05 14:41:50 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
15 yrs is a long time....if you truly value the relationship, maybe try counseling. If you don't address the issues you will only resent him further. I was with my ex almost 10 yrs when he cheated on me with my best friend; then after I divorced him, he married her within 2 months. They were only married a year, then she divorced him as husband #3. Before that happened, I had caught him online cheating with a lady he met in a poker room and they started calling each other. I'm not sure if he had problems with infidelity early on in our relationship & hid it well until the lies unraveled. So, his mistake, he learned the grass is not greener on the other side and lost me forever as a result. I am glad I didn't end up the rest of my life with him in his lying & cheating... I feel online cheating is just like in person.
2006-06-05 15:24:36 · answer #3 · answered by SMILEYGIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn after 15 years and you cant forget?!!! I dont know except try a councelor or find a lover it will make you feel even, not taken advantage of. I feel sorry for you. I have been through the same thing it's been 2yrs now, It's horrible. I was just hoping it would fade but I guess it doesnt. Find a lover it will make it feel better.
2006-06-05 14:02:02 · answer #4 · answered by janet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to marriage counseling you both need it badly! This will be the only hope and way of even trying to save the marriage from the damage you have both caused.... YOu do need to forgive him for the past and you definitely have been treating him badly... Remember we are not held accountable for what happens to us we are held accountable for how we respond. Unfrogivness is the poison we drink while we wait for the other person to die!
2006-06-05 14:11:39 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a marriage, there is a "sacred Trust", as I call it, once it is trodden upon, it's not impossible to get back, but it is hell warmed over to get that trust back and it takes time, because there is always that doubt in the back of your mind, it causes you to lash out, I would'nt treat him badly if any part of you still loves him, but I would'nt be eager to jump back in the sack with him either, this is going to take a lot of time and you have both been very hard on yourselves over this I'm going to borrow a saying from my grandparents "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" but my personal experience says that love is sometimes better the second time around, it took me ten years to learn that hard, painful lesson, let me know how it goes! GOOD LUCK!
2006-06-05 14:14:58 · answer #6 · answered by trekkie1972566 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok well how was he cheating on you on line ?
there really isnt a way for them to cheat on line at least none i found
the only way i no of cheating online is if he meat her online and met her someplace and had intercourse or kissed her
even if he was doing something he shouldnt have watching a cam it would have been him and his hand so unless he was intament with the girl i would say he wasnt cheating my husband talks to females all the time online and it doesnt bother me cause i no my husband is at home he maybe talking to girls online i no i am lucky just to no where he is and no he isnt out messing with anyone
2006-06-05 14:08:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The scary thing is online relationships are becoming too real. Don't tolerate his crap and tell him how you feel and if he doesn't stop or you catch him again you will leave. Also save the emails because if **** hits the fan you'll need them in court
2006-06-05 14:14:01 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is cheating online first of all? and my husband cheated on me almost 2yrs ago and i still do the same things to him, so we are going to go to counseling, i think that is the only thing that will help.
2006-06-05 14:02:44 · answer #9 · answered by dari98dae99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u havent fully forgave him yet. when u forgive him fully u wont do al them things u doing to him. pray and ask GOD to put forgiveness in your heart and to help u to treat him like u suppose to. GOD is the answer and can work your marriage out, trust and lean on GOD,JESUS and the HOLY GHOST.
2006-06-05 14:02:14 · answer #10 · answered by caramel_sexy20 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋