When I first met this guy he is almost perfect. No alarms went off. He took me to Hawaii. He says nice things to try to impress me. He proposed to me after geting my parents consent. He buys me flowers. He has a glow in his eye everytime he looks at me. He has a good job. He's diffinitely in love with me. However, he is messy, unorganized, owes the world debt, cant pay bills on time, loves video games too much, isnt impressed by physical fitness and is so-so in bed. I think I'm misserable. Somehow, I cant leave him. He always sneakily convinces me with his reasons of why I should stay with him. (ex. 1. no one is perfect. 2. You knew all this when we met. 3. I'll change. 4. He totally avoids the subject when I bring it up.)
2006-06-05 13:33:07 · 19 answers · asked by vividcaramel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your right there are two sides to one story. I cant have him write his side down. But if I could somewhat interpret it. It would be more like... I love her, Im straight out of the military, I'm changing (slowly but surely), I've never had to live for someone else. We need time to learn from eachother. She is sometimes too hard on me. She can also have a rude streak.... I don't know if maybe I should stick it out with this guy. He isnt totally a slob he just doesnt clean until I tell him to. The point is I dont want to have to tell him what to do. I wish he already knew.
2006-06-05 15:36:18 · update #1
"I think I'm misserable"... hmmmm... red flag hunny. He is right about one thing, no one is perfect for sure. However, he is who he is. He will not change, I don't care how many times he says he will. You are not there to change him. You are there to be his partner and lover. You have two choices from what I see. 1. Leave him because he loves his video games and is lazy and so-so in bed... or 2. Put up with all those things because he loves you and you love him. Love is compromise...
2006-06-05 13:38:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust him then theres a problem. Either you start trusting him or you don't have much of a relationship. Talk to him about how you feel and why you are having a tough time trusting him fully. See if you can work things out. If you feel you need to get out of the relationship then do it - don't let him "talk you into" staying.
2006-06-05 13:36:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have our little quirks and idiosyncrasies. The question is: can you live with them? Do you love him enough to put up w/ his habits? I think relationships are built on trust and honesty. If you can't trust this guy, you never will. Trust can be gained and lost, but only to a certain extent. You've got to have a fundamental connection, and unquestionable trust to make it.
2006-06-05 13:36:59 · answer #3 · answered by :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not dump this dude then you are in store for a very miserable life! Buy the book "Co-Dependent No More" by Melodie Beattie....it will save you life!!!
2006-06-05 13:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you're having doubts, you definitly shouldnt stay with him. take some time away from him to realize how you really feel. take some You Time to find out what you want, and then decided if hes capable of giving it to you. If you dont think he is (and dont think you're going to be able to change him, because you cant) then ditch him and find someone who can really make you happy
2006-06-05 13:37:54 · answer #5 · answered by MRose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres two sides to every story. This one sounds double sided. He is a player. Forget him or you'll be sorry. :o(
2006-06-05 14:07:57 · answer #6 · answered by silhouette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break up with him or try to tell him to spend time with u and tell him to listen to ur conversation u bring up
If i was u i would break up with him
get a man that would listen to u and spend time with u
2006-06-05 13:37:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was that way when you met him..and fell in love with him anyway maybe you're making reasons to push him away!
2006-06-05 13:37:13 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it simply boils down to this: can you see yourself with this slob for the rest of your LIFE?? You know what you need to do.
2006-06-05 13:36:01 · answer #9 · answered by grisgris100 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is 90% of the relationship and without it you are left with only 10%..........................in school they would say that your relationship is failing and you should get out of it.
2006-06-05 13:43:06 · answer #10 · answered by JusChillin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋