We now have 4 dogs. Four. I didn't ask for any of them, but when she brought in one, I eventually adjusted and loved this animal. She assured me that she didn't want any others. Then she became obsessed with finding another one, and without asking me, brought home another dog. I adjusted and enjoyed both of them. She assured me that she wouldn't bring home anymore. Then she became obsessed with finding another dog, and without asking me, brought home another dog. I haven't even had a chance to adjust to three dogs (INSIDE dogs, no less) and, although she has assured me that there was NO way she'd get another one...she has become obsessed with another dog and now has just surprised me with another puppy. Along with the 2 kids, this is so much for me to take. This isn't the only thing issue we've had in our marriage, but I'm at the point now where I feel she is so self-centered that she is only concerned with her own immediate self-gratification. How do I deal with this???
2006-06-05 13:31:06 · 11 answers · asked by foot lovin man 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I didn't mean to sound like I was complaining about having 2 kids. I meant to say something along the lines of "in addition to 2 kids who will not help with them at all"
2006-06-05 13:32:18 · update #1
Why don't you tell her that you will not take care of the dogs anymore.... She wagged them home, let her take care of them! If you don't want them inside, you might have to invest in an outside kennel.
From now on, when she brings one home, meet her at the door and take it right back outside, and tell her it will stay outside until she returns it. If she doesn't get rid of it in a timely manner, you will have to be the one to return it or take it to a pet adoption center. Or you can place an ad in the paper giving the dogs away to good homes. She might see you mean business if you get rid of them when she brings them in.
**You are the man of the house and you should put your foot down.**
By allowing her to keep them (and in the house, no less!), you are condoning her behavior.
I'd say ONE inside dog is plenty, providing you have enough room and the house is kept sanitary.
Isn't there a law in your state as to how many dogs you can have anyway??
2006-06-05 21:46:09 · answer #1 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I work at an animal shelter. Its hard to understand a womans need to take animals home. I think the usual answer to this question is attention and the need for activity. Does she complain that she's feels busy all the time? Since having the kids and the first pet, she feels like she doesnt have a life. She thinks i might as well add another pet because thats the only part of my life I can alter and make a difference it the world at the same time. Believe it or not a woman is never satisfied with the mundane. She wants change and excitement, even if she is conservative. If a husband doesn't find something to fill that requirement a wife will search dangerously for it by herself. Animals can temporarily fill that void. They are new and exciting. They can give there undivided, ever loyal, admirable and adoring attention. She feels like a Queen! Finally, shes made a difference in the world and the pet acknowledges it. I'm not sure what you guys roles are. But maybe if you did crazy unexpected wonderful things for her and kept the ball rolling, she wouldn't have time to be preoccupied with pets. Spend more time with her. Find babysitters for the kids. Help out more around the house. You know 50/50. Explain to her that you feel crowded and uncomfortable. Hopefully, she will understand. Also let her know that the kids should be helping with the animals. Animals are part of the family and everyone should pitch in.
2006-06-05 13:55:22 · answer #2 · answered by vividcaramel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, *blushing* I have done some similar things, only I "talked" my husband into it. It got so bad I had to sit back and really try to figure out where this need was coming from. I am the only one who takes care of these pets and I am at the limit that I can properly care for let alone afford.
After looking deep inside, I realized that I was desperate for love. This may sound weird if no one else has felt this way. Now, I'm sure you love your wife and I am sure the kids love their mom. Try to think of it like being in a crowded room yet feeling completely alone. So, perhaps concentrating on your relationship a bit more will help with the problem. Again, I'm not assuming that there is anything wrong necessarily but that you may want to put more effort into it. Do things around the house together. Talk to her, find out what's on her mind, what she worries about during the day, what she dreams about... get to know her again. If she enjoys the attention, I'm sure that she will reciprocate. It's not about gifts and romantic evenings, it's about connecting on a deep and emotional level.
2006-06-05 13:46:18 · answer #3 · answered by Ready2Go 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your wife how you feel about this. Tell her that you love her and your kids, and even the dogs, but you are wondering what is causing her to feel the need to go out and get new dogs. She may have some issues deep down and she is acting out to try and appease it.
Tell her how you feel, find out how she feels. Find out what you can both do to make your marriage better for you and your whole family. You can also see if your wife would be willing to see a couple's counselor.
2006-06-05 13:39:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love your wife...no don't get upset..I am a straight female..lol..I'm also an animal nut!...I have 4 dogs, 2cats..1 ferret and a turtle..when I started "collecting " animals I didn't know why I did it..I would tell myself...what's one more?...I was lonely and that's how I handled it...no doubt at the time I didn't realize this...it wasn't until a few years later I did...maybe she's missing something in her life and the animals help her deal with it..
2006-06-05 14:32:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are various problems right here. a million. do no longer enable your guy produce different women folk... it is going to in no way artwork. 2. for sure he isn't happy along with your intercourse life. attempt making it extra constructive. 3. i'm undecided which you have something to make an apology for. do no longer assume you're incorrect. 4. Why take him back. He sounds lazy, he makes you pay the expenses and he cheats on you. Why could you're taking him back? Why could you communicate approximately it?
2016-09-28 03:26:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She feels insecure. She feels loved by the dogs. You need to help her with this. But you need to love her.
Good luck-I have four dogs, none of them mine. But they become part of the family. I feel for you- I can say I know how you feel.
You gotta stop her from getting more dogs-how, I just dont know. Tell her you love her every day-that may help.
2006-06-05 13:44:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it seems to me that you are stuck with these animals in your home. Telling her to get rid of them would be like telling her to get rid of a family member and would only make matters worse. Make sure you talk and tell her that you can't handle any more animals and tell her your feelings of being betrayed because she didn't communicate with you or let you in on the decision making process.
2006-06-05 14:12:47 · answer #8 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and let her know how you feel about this. What kind of dogs are they? Does she show them? Why does this make her so happy? To me i would rather have the dogs there then have her with other men!
2006-06-05 13:35:44 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahhhhh just enjoy the new dog hes just a dog and he'll have a good home with you love and play with him feed the dog and walk the dog enjoy the new family member
2006-06-05 13:41:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋