I was married to my first husband for over a dozen years. Yes, i strayed. I admitted my wrong, i learned from my mistakes. I have been married for 2 years to a great man. He has no idea how much I love him. His job takes him long distances from home. His previous wife strayed on him, and they divorced. I do all i can to reassure him that i love him, to show him i am there for him. He makes me relive my past over and over again...he says because of what I did, in my first marriage, he cannot trust me, and never will be able to. He says that she taught him that. I am sure that he strayed on her before her on him, but thats irrelevant to him, bcause he says that when she chose to stray, he had already realized his love for her...Why must i relive my past mistakes over and over for him..i cannot be the person i told him i want to grow to be if i continuously must relive the past. Please tell me how to deal with this. I'm not sure how long i can keep living my life like this.
2006-06-05 12:54:56 · 8 answers · asked by Elly 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ohhh, that's a tough one. Your relationship can not last if its built on a foundation of distrust. Especially since he has told you that he will not trust you. I went through a similar situation, and you both have to ask yourselves, "Can I drop the past of my partner and move on, on a positive note. If your can't answer "yes" than you need to take a step back and reevaluate your relationship and decide if its worth living a life of suspicion and distrust. Counseling will help. Good luck!!
2006-06-05 13:03:54 · answer #1 · answered by rayngirl6 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its true when they say if you don't have trust you have nothing. I would just say look yes it did before and it was a long time ago HOWEVER do not beat me up because your ex wife screwed you up in the head as well, I shouldn't have to pay for her mistake. If you guys cant seriously work through this your marriage is going to come to a halt.
2006-06-05 13:03:08 · answer #2 · answered by chemicalbrothers13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling and help to get past this... It sounds to me like you have brought alot of baggage into this new marriage. You both may need marriage counseling and stay true to him and never stray. Prove to him that you are changed and that you learned from your past mistakes. He needs to love and forgive you for your mistakes just like you do him. You both need to let the past be the past and move on and not look back!
2006-06-05 13:10:00 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont live like that. Trust is the biggest part of any relationship. If he says he'll never trust you, get out and find someone that will.
2006-06-05 12:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by bigjimmyguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you could use some professional counselling. Trust is a huge issue
2006-06-05 12:59:00 · answer #5 · answered by Hunny B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems to be punishing you for what his wife did to him. Either you have to talk to him and both go to counseling on this......or, it will be over. Stand up for yourself and tell him what YOUR boundaries are. But, the bottom line is...it is not what HE does but what YOU do. You can go to counseling on your own and find out about who you are.....you will then know what to do.
2006-06-05 14:12:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your self how can you be with someone who dont trust you. you need to leave him to be happy life is to short if you want the past to stay in the past. beside how much do you really know about the trips it may be him you need to Q
2006-06-05 13:18:12 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
without trust there cant be love..jealousy is one of the 7 deadlies..
2006-06-05 13:00:36 · answer #8 · answered by luvmadukes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋