me and my boyfriend live together we are expecting our first child together and he has 2 children from a previous relationship who live in denver colorado, every month secretly he has been paying rent for his BM, but what ***** with me is that she has a live in boyfriend that he did not know about until he took a trip down there to see for himself. after his knowledge of this he still continues to pay her rent and if he dont she be callin him leavin all types of ****** up messeges using his kids as pawns yall no like a guilt trip. i am cool with the fact that he may have to send money for the kids clothes and other needs but if the ***** got a man is he supposed to be paying rent for her and another dude to lay up? thats bullshit!! what should i do? and the fact that he trys to keep the **** secret from me is even more disturbing. thanks to western union online!! please someone give me advice on how to deal with this bullshit!!!
2006-06-05 12:53:19 · 14 answers · asked by yousexythangyou 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He should be paying child support, but not her rent. Do you have child support agencies in the states? Here in Oz, most go through child support agency, who determines how much one should pay the other, that way, whoever gets the CS can't turn around in a year or 2 and say they haven't been receiving money and the payee gets hit with a big bill.
It's not good that he hasn't told you before now. You need to have good talk about trust.
2006-06-05 12:58:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him know what he is doing is not agreeable. He should get a fixed support amount to pay her and that's it. What He needs to do is make sure she is giving the child a safe home and not using the child as a money pit. If the two of you share a life then You should know where the money goes. Don't forget with two kids she may get 40% of his income so he may be taking the cheaper way out. Unless there is a legal position he is dealing with she can always mess him up. Get things settled now and if He cannot face the facts then be ready to leave him because she will have a big hold on him until the kids are away from the nest.
2006-06-05 13:04:09 · answer #2 · answered by old codger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....you're pissed!!!!! He probably feels like this, his babies are living under that roof. Maybe that guy she's living with is a real piece of sh!t and just mooching. Then you're man has got make sure his babies have a roof over their heads.
I don't know if you're mad because he's paying the rent or he's keeping it from you...or both. But whatever the case, you definitely need to tell him secrets are not cool. Especially when it comes to finances and you have a bundle on the way.
Don't yell and scream at him, it will just piss him off and make him take the defense. Plus, you're body doesn't need the stress. Try talking to him, calmly if that can't be done, walk away. and try again.
2006-06-05 13:00:59 · answer #3 · answered by shakia27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is fine for him to pay money called child support for his children. But not to support her that is bull. She has a boyfriend let him support her. Besides you and him should be discussing this , he should not do it behind your back, the best way to deal with this is to confront him. And tell him to support just the kids through the courts child support and stop supporting her and her boyfriend. Or why not have him take her to court.
2006-06-05 13:02:35 · answer #4 · answered by mistyjlr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at least you know he is taking care of his other kids and considering that you are expecting your own with him... you should be happy about that. not many men even do that these days. who really cares if his BM is hooked up with another man... he didnt. so why do you? just remember... you might be an ex to him one day and your views just might change at how he treats an ex. not to mention CHILD SUPPORT comes in all forms. its meant for anything a child needs. most important i think is a house.
2006-06-05 12:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by blossomingcactus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe your bf wants to keep it from going to court where he knows that he will end up paying way more money then just her rent
maybe your bf really wishes he could still be with her
or
maybe he just wants his kids to have a place to live and he is afraid that she wouldnt pay the rent
2006-06-05 12:56:34 · answer #6 · answered by bluskygreengrass 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its good that he wants to pay for his kid but if there is no court order he can stop with no penalty. and if they go to court about it bring up the live in 6months in colorado and they are common law so you can play that card if they signed a lease together.
2006-06-05 12:57:28 · answer #7 · answered by gsschulte 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check with a lawyer. He should be responsible for his children but doesn't have to support a former girlfriend. Especially if she has a live-in-lover.
2006-06-05 12:56:04 · answer #8 · answered by Garfield 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gurl u sed pay rent i culd understand payin child support but he payin rent tell him 2 stop he wastin muney specially if he yo man nd if the momma b%$$* got her man but gurl step up 2 that women nd tell her yo man wuld not continue payin rent
2006-06-05 12:58:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to handle your language before the baby is born
2006-06-05 12:57:10 · answer #10 · answered by bigjimmyguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋