what would you do if your partner was like this?

Question

i,ve took to sleeping in the spare room as my partner smells so bad he only ever washes about every 4/5 weeks maybe longer his bed clothes aint been changed in 6months he,ll scratch his sweaty balls ectra then continue to eat a sandwhich . he,ll ask me for a kiss or cuddle maybe sex and i,ve given up with the hints so tell him honestly that no i dont want a kiss ectra cause he smells he,ll say yeah so what,can i have a kiss ectra so i repeat agian no so he,ll say **** you then but he still wont wash/bath i,ve tried telling him i prefere him clean ectra and he turns me on more when he,s clean i,ve even been over the top with him WHEN he,s bathed kissing him,cuddling him saying things like ohhh you smell sexy i love it when your clean blar blar but noooooo that still dont sink in you,d think the fact i,ve slept in the spare room for months now would jolt him into taking action but nooooooooo i feel sick just to see him mess around with his pits and privates then try touch me after HELP!!

Answer 1

was he not like this when you married him?

or has he slumped down badly into this habit of not washing?!

i know it sounds horrible, but you have to tell him.

i really believe that when people dont wash for so long they dont realise that they smell. its like if you have perfume on for a long time other people can smel it but you cant, cos you are so used to the smell.

but he should have cottoned onto the fact that it is wrong and he should be making the effort.

no matter how hard it is you have to give him an ultimatum and put it to him that either he washes more frequently or thats it.

sleepin in a spare bedroom without sex and attention isnt a good relationship for anyone to be in.

good luck

Answer 2

Seems as though he has lost respect for himself and cant be bothered. It is quite possible that he maybe suffering from depression. Has something happened recently that would knock his respect, someone died, lost his job, worried about money for instance. When people decline into unhygenic acts there is a reason for it, find that reason and help him through it.
what you might be able to do in the mean time though is suggest that you take a bath together and wash each other in a romantic setting. I know that will entail getting into the dirty bath water with him, but hey bath water doesnt say hot for too long! As for his bed clothes, why dont you wash them when he isnt looking?

Answer 3

If it was me, then I would tie him up, drag him to the bath and scrub him with wire wool and carbolic soap, that is disgusting. In this day and age cleanliness is not expensive and is not hard to achieve, he has no excuse and if he won't clean up then leave him. There are plenty of men out there who wash and smell good and have the basics of hygiene down. This man is a stinky tramp and you deserve better, sorry to be horrible about him but dump him quickly. Talk to him again and say you just can't bear it, if he stays dirty then he has to say goodbye to you.

Answer 4

Remove the door handle on the inside of the bathroom door then when he goes to the loo don't let him out till he washes! If the bath and loo are separate then every time he goes to sleep pour something gross like lavender over him & the bed, write things all over him wih lipstick or even marker pen, then hopefully he'll soon clean up his act (excuse the pun!)

Answer 5

Wow... I can't imagine how gross that must be. It sounds like your pretty unhappy, so give him the low down. Tell him you love him and want to stay with him, but you can't stand the way he smells. Tell him you desperatly want to have sex with him and find him so sexy when he's clean, but you can't stand the thought of being with him when he's so gross. If that doesnt work suggest a couples shower??? In all reality though, maybe you should give him a final warning and move on if hes not willing to clean up. His condition is unfair to you and if he is aware of that he should try to change it.

Answer 6

What does ectra mean??? I'm lost. I'd leave him if he's nasty. Not trying to be mean, but c'mon. That's disgusting and he obviously doesn't care for you enough to even make an effort. How does he hold down a job even?

Answer 7

omg get out hes yukky omg how do you put up with it yuk my hubby works outside all day and when he comes home hes all sweaty and you know down below ohhhh it stinks man he gets a shower as soon as he comes home from work ....ohhh how can he go without a wash for that length of time no wonder you feel sick and dont wanna touch him let alone have sex jesus man go find a man who smells lovely...good luck

Answer 8

Sorry, but if after all you have done, if he still hasn't changed by now he never will. You have to face facts, he is happy the way he is and if you can't handle it (& i must say i don't know anyone who would,even for a few weeks!!!) you have to get away from him before he brings you down.
You deserve so much better and no one would blame you for walking away from a cesspit and looking for a meadow.

Answer 9

Do you think he may suffer from depression? A close family member of mine used to be like this - he took no interest in his personal hygiene whatsoever for weeks on end. Turned out he had depression and just lost interest in himself. Once he got that sorted out, he was fine again.

If not though, he sounds just plain selfish and I couldn't put up with it. It needs to be sorted one way or the other!

Answer 10

By him a huge cake of soap, hand it to him along with a towel, a bottle of shampoo & some deororant & tell him "Either use these now & every day from now on or you are history". Then walk away & let him think about it.
If he refuses, then start packing his stuff.
Also, do not let him touch you at all.