Im 20 ive fallen in love with a woman a few yrs. older, i want to build a life long relationship w/ her. how ever she keeps leavin me for her ex b/f, but then realizes im the one that will put her first in my life, and has told me im everything hes not, but also says shes dumb for not being with me. i love this woman and to fight for her is worht anything to me. ive never nor would i ever be dishonest or cheat on her, unlike her ex who has a number of times, she knows she'll never be able to completely trust him where me she says she does. So what can i do to open this girls eyes and see that im what she needs, im here for her, to be there always no matter what, support her in anything she does, not him? I want her, not only her but her problems, her imperfections that i love so much about her, i want the inner and outter, both good and bad, because thats what makes her,her and i love her for it. Someone please send me some advice because i cant lose this beautiful thing in my life.thx
2006-06-05 12:31:18 · 34 answers · asked by Justin J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I BET SHE IS PLAYING WITH YOUR LIFE
I WOULDN'T PREFER BEING WITH SOMEONE WHO LEAVES ME AND GOES TO THE EX THEN COMES BACK TO ME
ALSO IF I DO MARRY HER THEN WHEN I L HAVE KIDS SHE MAY LEAVE THE KIDS AND GO TO MEET THE EX
ITS NOT SAFE FOR MY CHILDREN
ALSO IF YOU LIKE ALL THESE "BAD" THINGS ABOUT HER AS WELL THEN GO FOR IT BUT BELIVE ME IT WILL NEVER LAST
AND AS FOR OPENING HER EYES I BET YOU SHOULD TELL HER THAT YOU ARE MOVING ON AND IF SHE WANTS YOU THEN SHE WILL TEL YOU NOT TO GO
ALSO YOU WILL KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY ARE IN HER LIFE JUST A JOKER OR SECURITY OR A YOUNG MAN IN BED
YOU ARE ONLY 20 GO AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE
YOU WILL SURELY FIND SOMEONE WHOM YOU DONT HAVE TO PROVE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM
JUST WAIT FOR THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE
YOU WILL GET GOOD GIRLS COZ YOU HAVE SUCH GOOD QUALITIES SHE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU
CHEERS
2006-06-13 09:30:47 · answer #1 · answered by prlnr 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes you can. This "beautiful thing''--as you describe her or your relationship with her--has the best of both worlds. When her ex is being a pain, she can run to you. When she misses him, she knows there's a revolving door, and can go back to him at any time. This constant attention and competition must be flattering to her.
Here's my advice. Walk away. And stay away. Don't call, email, contact, stalk, or reach out to her in any way whatsoever. If she realizes that you are no longer in the equation, that may make you more desirable to her. If that is the case, she'll seek you out. However, if you don't hear from her at all, then it wasn't meant to be, and you are free to heal your pain and move on with your life, in time.
It sounds like you have some wonderful traits for any age, much less a 20-year old. Take your time. Get seasoned. Live your life with authenticity. If you do that, you will meet someone on the natural path of your life because God placed them there. You'll know it when it's right. Have faith.
2006-06-17 21:11:36 · answer #2 · answered by Ancespiration 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there's anything you can do. In fact, I think it'd be best if you just continued being yourself, and loving her like you do (and wow, that is some love you got; i might even be jealous :P) I think really this is something SHE has to deal with. She's obviously torn between you and her ex, and only she can figure it out, and that's something nobody can help her with, shes gotta do that on her own. Just be patient, she'll come around. And losing patience, that could very well lead to her settling with her ex instead of you. I really hope you can keep this love you have, it sounds amazing.
xoxo
2006-06-19 05:21:15 · answer #3 · answered by sleepyface 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's your problem: nothing you do while the two of you are together is going to make a difference. You don't want to see that because you're infatuated with her. It's tough . . . it's ugly . . . and it's the last thing you want to hear . . . but it's the truth. Sorry, dude.
She will see everything you want her to see, though, if that's any consolation to you. But it won't be with her. It'll be when you've decided to move on and find someone else that you feel this way about, who truly appreciates you, that she'll see all these things about you that is tearing you apart right now. "It's only when we no longer have something that it becomes something special."
2006-06-17 08:52:17 · answer #4 · answered by David 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about opening your eyes!!!... You say that she continues to leave you for her ex....maybe there's a reason behind this....We as women have a strong desire and need to be loved, nurtured, and cherished both emotionally and physically. However, most women know what they're looking for in a man, and sometimes it may take years of returning to someone to figure out that the person is not right for them. Are you willing to continue to play second fiddle to this guy? Also, when are you going to realize that you deserve better than to be someones rebound lover?
2006-06-16 18:50:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a wonderful man - much more mature than your age OR the woman in your life. i know you love her and you may not want to hear this...but you deserve someone who can love you and be as committed to you as you are to her..not someone who can't see what a great catch she has in you. make the break. lose all contact with her and then IF she realises what she had and breaks all contact with her ex THEN perhaps you guys have a chance. i think her eyes are ALREADY open..and she's enjoying the best of both worlds.... good luck with it and God Bless..hope you find happiness..with or without this woman.
2006-06-18 04:15:56 · answer #6 · answered by glasgow gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is odd ... and no not your situation cause just reading this i was thinking back to a story i'm currently working on and your character, the way you subconciously described yourself right now, is exactly the way my character is. that's very sweet and nice of you, it really is. if you love this woman that much then stay by her side but then realize that she may just be using you or you her because of some sort of dependency. i'm sure that if you wait long enough she'll finally realize but how to make her realize is a mystery beyond comprehension. it's not wrong to wait because you clearly love this woman but please, for your sake, don't wait forever.
2006-06-05 12:44:35 · answer #7 · answered by tinerr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think you do look i try ed that and end up broken heart thy will all ways tell you what you want to hear to keep you you must decide what you know you can handle the most being with out her or the hard ship of a broken heart?
2006-06-19 06:03:27 · answer #8 · answered by annabello726652003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit back and wait if you really want her. There's nothing that you can do until she comes to the realization that she doesn't want to continue on in the relationship with with her ex. She has to have time to herself for a bit. If you like her like you claim then wait. You don't want to be the rebound guy.
2006-06-18 23:07:03 · answer #9 · answered by Temptation 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she is in love with the boyfriend, sometimes in life women do not always make the right choices for the right reasons. Perhaps if you took yourself out of the equasion she would be forced to make a decision.
2006-06-17 02:43:29 · answer #10 · answered by damonsbaby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, darling, she doesn't deserve you! Why not get over it and get on with it? I KNOW there is someone out there that will appreciate you and not muck you around. Not a put-down at all, but speaking from experience, you'll never forget her, but it will get easier. One day you will smile when you think about her - some people don't have that - you're lucky!
2006-06-18 00:57:29 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋