My husband and I are raising his three children as well as my four children. His eldest is a 15 year old girl. We used to have a great relationship but lately she has started to act just like her mom. I have been getting phone calls from some of her closest friends telling me about some really mean and hurtful things she has been doing to them. She also has admitted that the only reason she likes to go to her moms house is because her mom lives with her grandmother and her grandmother buys her a lot of the stuff that we can't buy her. She will borrow her sisters things but will hide all of her own stuff so no one can use it. She sneaks their clothes and anything else that she wants to her moms and won't bring it back. I have even caught her taking my clothes over there and giving them to her mom. She used to be such a sweet person, now I don't know what to do. She is doing the things that she hates her mom doing and she can't see that she's acting just like her. Any suggestions?
2006-06-05 12:28:58 · 15 answers · asked by ♥Stacy 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
She's reached the stage of identity crises, and it's magnified because of the circumstances. Sounds like she's taking out her anger and rage on the entire world - not unusual for the age group. Since it has gotten to such a rough point, it might be wise to try a therapist - sometimes it's a good thing to give them someone outside the family and close friend group that they can talk to and rant at.
2006-06-05 12:32:59 · answer #1 · answered by PuterPrsn 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well she has been taught the sekie value set of materialism. If you are sekies (non religious folks or not serious about your religion to have it affect your lives) It will be hard to purge this value set since you have taught it to her whether or not your aware of it. The first set is to be aware of your world view and what and why you believe because you cannot teach her a better value set if you not have one and consistently follow one of your own. How does she sneak around and do stuff are you and your husband at work while she does this? Primarily she is stealing and stealing should not be tolerated in your household period. Is your husband backing you up? Where is he in the picture? Something is influencing her or she has realized (whether right or wrong) Her mom got screwed over by her dad and deserves to be treated just like you. I think the best way is to confront head on and say why are you doing these things. If she doesn't want to cooperate then you need to make an ultimatum that hits her in the materialistic heart. You will quit stealing or you will have __________ taken away period end of story! You and your husband need to present a untied front in this or he will undermine not only your authority as parent but his as well.
2006-06-05 12:39:00 · answer #2 · answered by xx_muggles_xx 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
15 years old - yes expect a bit of difficulty. I admire you and your husband having 7 children to contend with.
One of my daughters, at 15, thought she would get away with walking away whilst I was speaking to her. I telephoned her father, we had been divorced 2 years. And asked him to get her for the night and speak to her. She cried non-stop. When she came home the following evening she apologized. To be honest we have bonded closer since that one night.
She had taken me for granted. I showed her that as much as I love her I was not prepared to accept bad behaviour.
Both you and her father should sit her down and point out to her the negative impact she is having on the household. Probably she is hurting? Have you spoken with her class teacher?
She needs help. It's not that she is bad, could be that she is sad.
2006-06-05 12:47:42 · answer #3 · answered by enigma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking
2006-06-05 12:31:24 · answer #4 · answered by chick-a-dee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should give her some time. she is a teen and they act like that some times for no reason at all. if she's still acting that way then u and her father should have a talk with her. maybe somethings going on and she don't know how to handle it.
2006-06-05 12:34:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
her mum might be using her to get revenge or maybe she's just jealous that she'd left alone living with her parents so that only way she can reach and harm to satisfy her is to use her sweet daughther and turn her into evil, so it will bring cold and bad atmosphere to the family.
2006-06-05 12:40:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um try talkin to her and if things don't work out try seekin professional hlep liek form a counsleor
2006-06-05 12:39:06 · answer #7 · answered by kara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at 15 she's at a hard point in her life - try to be somewhat understanding but her behavior is destructive to her and family/ friends - counseling might be in order or maybe tough love -- good luck
2006-06-05 12:34:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
every teen gos trew that but u have to set rules and make sure she listens to them and if she dont want to do that well start takeing her things away from her untill she does
2006-06-05 12:41:26 · answer #9 · answered by lilsweetay101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk 2 her
2006-06-06 05:18:15 · answer #10 · answered by sunnyh_911 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋