Am I just being way too jealous?

Question

I take care of him and our newborn baby. He recently had an incident that put him in ICU I nursed him back to health.
The funny thing is that when he was in the hospital I called his job to call him off. When the secretary found out she ran down to the ICU department to check on him like 15 minutes after I called.
I was taking with the doctor and when I came back in she was there. She told me to leave my husband and let her stay with him, while he was in ICU. She gave him a $100.00 gift card and does other special things for him. I also found her cell number in his phone. When and several missed calls from her. When I called her on the cell of course our number came up but she gave me an alias number. He described her as having big breast. He says that I am just too jelous. He does not sleep with me and we are not physical much because the baby is 2 months. I have not got my looks back yet although I am working out again. Should I worry? Is she just nice am I just paranoid?

Answer 1

Unless she is a older lady I would be ticked !!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Honestly I am not trying to be hurtful but yes I would be keep an eye out lets review. You said she gave him a 100 dollar gift card, does she give that to everyone ? or just him, Another thing several missed calls from her why the hell is she calling anyway! And if you husband didn't want you to be jealous then why would he be telling you she has big boobs no offense but is he stupid? A smart guy would never tell his wife or girlfriend that to make her feel not attractive, get you body and looks back and show him whats up with other guy friends not to mention tell that ***** to find her own man. You are worth more than that!

Answer 3

Im sorry! I would worry too, but thats just the way I am. Some people get really close with the ones they work with. I wouldnt worry about her visiting him in the hospital, maybe she thought she was doing you a favor since you have a new born baby. And having her number in his phone is another common thing when people work together. As for him stating that she has big breast, men just dont think about how we will feel about these things. I think you should sit down and talk to him about it. I would jump to any conclusions yet, they will just make you worry, and probably for no good.

Answer 4

Holy crap what a disrespectful person she seems to be! Even with the best of intentions, your husband has no business telling you that your feelings don't count. Your opinion should count before Mrs. big breasteses'. What's this about that girl telling you to leave your husband with her alone? Tell her, "Nice try!" A *nice generous friend* tried to pull the same thing on me once, and when I told her "I don't think so, he's my man and if I want to go along with him I will not be told to stay behind so you can have your time with him" she backed right off and was forced to understand. It worked out in my favor when I spoke my mind. Stand up and take your place :)

Answer 5

I'd definitely keep an eye on her. You can also ask your husbands doctor to not allow her in to see him. I've been cheated on before when my daughter was 3months & some of the things your wrote sound fishy. Make sure that if you really want to know if he cheated on you (supposing he did) it's because you either are willing to leave him for good or stuggle for years to regain that trust. As a women, we tend to stay away from other men that are takin, to aviod problems. It sounds that this women wants/wanted to be there reguadless of how that probably made you feel or in what situation it placed her in. If it were me, I'd keep on eye & absorb everything and put the puzzles together. Don't be harsh on your husband either because it could be all a misunderstanding & you can drive him away from you w/your jealousy. Act your normal loving self till you have concret facts.

Answer 6

I believe if she is doing all that she is more than just his secretary. Unless of course it was Boss' day and then does he pay her enough to give him a $100 gift?? If she was concerned for her "boss" she would have offered to stay with you or babysit so you could sit by YOUR husband. Don't worry about your looks, you just gave him the most precious gift of life & he needs to grow up and be a husband and a father and get rid of the secretary if it bothers you.

Answer 7

You have a right to be paranoid and suspicious because you are his wife and you are the only one he is to be at his bedside and in his bed. explain your feelings to him about why he's never told you about the calls and that it's odd that this woman is so devoted to him. I would speak to him about the importance of marriage, that no one is to interfere between the two of you and that if he can't respect that, then he better consider your marriage. I mean, if you just had a baby, he should be understanding that your body is adjusting, he should be respectful of that and know that he is a part of this too. He can't be selfish knowing that his needs are not being met and if he needs thngs to be fulfilled, well, that's something that both of you need to discuss. But tell him to have the woman back off and that it's making things worse for the both of you and it's not just jealously without a warning, but it's justified because he wouldn't feel great if you befriended a male co-worker who was giving you expensive gifts and was in great need to be there at your bedside. This woman needs to be respectful of your marriage, she's not included in it.

Answer 8

To start at the end...Your looks after the baby are not what makes a man cheat. If he has a cheating heart, he will cheat. If he says it is because of your post partum looks...he's a liar. Most men that cheat do it because they think they need a different experience, when in reality they are not satisfied with themselves...not you. As for wether he is cheating...hard to say. You would think that the Secretary wouldn't make it soo obvious just because he is in the hospital.

Answer 9

You have nothing to lose--set boundaries.

If he goes -sorry he goes. Tell him you want boundaries set. No gift taking-no phone calls-He is enjoying the attention. She is crossing the line. Don't scream but tell both polity-not acceptable behavior for them. And you do not have to be friendly to her-she is out of line-not mean but aloft. Tell him this is not acceptable and show him post. He is being kinder to someone else-than he is you. He can turn down gifts and calls-if he wants-and not be mean-just say no sorry you can not do this-I love my wife and it might hurt her. You are not paranoid-this is wrong. And I have been married for 38 years. I have co workers and friends -I also have boundaries. And so does my husband.
And it wouldn't hurt him to call you from office-or invite you for lunch or pick him up from work ect.

Looks should have nothing to do with-is he so shallow?

Answer 10

well here's the thing, you don't want to be wrong and neither do you want to be right- either direction will sorely hurt because if you are wrong then that means you get jealous easily. if you do end up being right well then...the truth hurts. there has to be something going on if all your husband tells you is that "you're just too jealous." but don't jump to conclusions. observe the way he acts discreetly, if he seems different from how he usually is there is nothing wrong with confronting him.
i mean maybe the nurse is just being nice or maybe your husband knows he's being flirted with but is much to flattered to say anything. i don't know but whatever you do make sure you don't regret it.

Answer 11

Either your husband is having an affair with her, or this lady is just obsessed with your husband and your husband is too nice to tell her to bugger off or doesn't want to cause drama by telling her so. Either way, you need to be concerned, because the phone calls, gifts, and no sex are signs of cheating. Hire a private investigator.