if u read my last 2 questions u will know the situation. my last question is this. do u think i should have told my husband right away, or wait until he knows something is going on? my sister told him wat i did. he asked if i would have told him. i said no. i wouldn't have told him because i didn't see wat good it would do. i might have felt better not keeping a secret but he would have felt really bad. there was a possability he would never find out and then we wouldn't be going thru all this. so, do u think i should have told him? btw, if the situation were reversed i would not want to know and i told him so.
2006-06-05 11:34:10 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i really didn't think he would find out. my sister also has a drinking problem. she doesn't even remember saying anything to my husband.
2006-06-05 13:57:00 · update #1
You might have had the option of not telling if no one else knew but I think it's terrible that he found out from your sister instead of you. You absolutely should have been the one to tell him if it was inevitable he would find out.
2006-06-05 11:39:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did not see previous questions, however, it sounds as if you are referring to an affair. If so, no, I would never have told him. I would have repented and never gone down that road again, but you are right, if it was reversed he would not have told you either. It only brings pain.
Sometimes, it is better to part and try seeing someone than it is to do it while in a relationship.
Now, if you are talking about having a child by another man, yes, indeed tell him as soon as you find out, because withholding that kind of information only breeds resentment and unfortunately, the child will suffer more than you. Hope I was helpful.
2006-06-19 01:59:10 · answer #2 · answered by gravelgertiesgems 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scoot, bless your heart. You and your hubba need to get to counseling if you are interested in saving your relationship. Deception is a very hard thing to get over. Yes you should have told your husband so that he could at least have the option of not looking like the fool you made of him. You need to think about why you did it (For Real) and then try to change what is lacking in you. I am sorry for your husband and your situation. Some problems can only be fixed with time. You need to do some soul searching and growing up.
2006-06-19 08:17:35 · answer #3 · answered by nanawnuts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I dont know the other 2 questions.....maybe this is you had an affair and you told him. WELLLLL.....been there done that. Had no emotional connection to spouse, he was not changing, found another, but told him, because of guilt, and he still rubs it in my face, so NO, I would not have told him, because, I would not have to listen to what I did forever. I think I would have preferred he left, unfortunatly. He takes no responsibility either. SO if this is what you are talking about, based on how some men react, I do not think I would tell. But maybe yours is not a past thrower......
2006-06-19 09:05:24 · answer #4 · answered by sokrvolleyhoopsmom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in a marriage, you should be able to go to your husband and talk to him about anything, there should be no secrets between you. Even though your sister told him, it was not her place to tell him, you should have been the one to tell him. Your husband would have been more understanding, and you would not be going through the drama you now find yourself in. One thing I have learned, is no matter what I do, as long as I tell my partner, husband, what ever the situation, the truth, they will be understanding. By telling the truth, no matter how hurtful, you are showing them "respect"..... If you no longer love your husband, then you need to do the honorable thing, and divorce him. But if you truly love your husband, and you feel its worth saving, then I would say go to a marriage counselor.
2006-06-19 01:36:22 · answer #5 · answered by angel_fire_2149 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The true wil come out even you keep the secret very well, soon or latter, it just about time.
If he find out the true latter by him self or sombody tell him and not from you, You will make him hurts more than now you telling him. Maybe he will forgive you for being honest and respect him. Then you both can solve the problem together.
2006-06-18 16:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by Fie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The cat is out of the bag, to late to worry about how the bag tore.
Now you have to take care of the problem. I also think you are the force in this relationship and it seems to revolve around you. Perhaps you should see that as a blessing and try to change it to be more equal.
Good Luck and God Bless!!
2006-06-09 15:48:59 · answer #7 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tried to read the whole story, but she is suspended. Too bad, I want to know what happened.
2006-06-18 08:42:58 · answer #8 · answered by boit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its best to tell your husband everything, the worst thing is for him to hear it from someone else.
2006-06-18 15:47:06 · answer #9 · answered by tela95 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes sweetie, the truth will always set u free
2006-06-05 12:40:50 · answer #10 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋