I never dated the other person, though we were pretty good friends. Things are ok with the relationship I am in, but I think about her all the time and I feel like it is cheating. Help
2006-06-05 11:19:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah, long engagement coupled with your saying that the relationship is only "OK" suggests to me that it is not the greatest move. If you are under 25, kill the engagement and go find something else.
2006-06-05 11:22:44 · answer #1 · answered by zw88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend that you do not get married until you have erased all questionable doubt. I am saying this because I had thoughts like this before I got married. I still had them after I was married. In fact, when ever my husband and I aren't doing too well, things like that still come up. Sometimes I have doubts about my marriage because I had doubts before it. Just take more time if you need it. I don't think you should act on any of these feelings, but you need to let your heart play out all of these feelings before you get married. That way you can look into his eyes at night knowing that you haven't questioned whether he is the right one for you. Also, delaying or canceling the wedding now, will be a whole lot easier. It will get harder with each week that passes as you get closer to the date.
If I were you, I would talk to him and let him know that you are feeling insecure. Tell him it's not over but being engaged is putting you in a tailspin. You are not mentally prepared for this type of commitment and you just want to take the pressure off so that you can get over this insecurity. -Good luck!
2006-06-05 13:36:34 · answer #2 · answered by Ready2Go 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometime douth do appear in a relationship. But, you need to ask youself is it worth giving up someone you know love and have some connection with for some one you possibly may not like after getting to know them. Looks can be decieving. Then too, if you are thinking about another person while you with her that can mess up a good thing that you have going, you will be surprise what a person can feel when you are with them and thinking about someone else. You need to get that thought out of your head as soon as possible, cheating always start in the heart and shows itself later.
Also ask yourself how would you feel if she felt that same way about some one else? How would you feel once you found out that she didn't want you because of a crush. That shoe don't feel so good when it is on your foot.
The way I see it, if you love her and when you open your eyes in the morning and close them at night she is on your mind and If you think that the world stop and your heart skips a beat when she walks in a room or calls your name I say "let the crush stay where it is at". Get the marriage on because you love her. Life will not be the same without her in it with you.
There is always going to be someone in our lives that we may have thought about or have a crush on. But, it's not like you love them. Don't mess up a good thing for a maybe, it's not worth it.
2006-06-05 11:49:43 · answer #3 · answered by Just want to know 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bird in hand alway's beats 2 in the bush. it's ok to think about some chick in the past. and the fact that u never actually smashed the other chick only makes the curiousity stronger. but leave the past in the past. if u have a good thing going appreciate it. if u don't want to get married b4 knowing what it would be like to smash the other chick, don't get married. there is nothing that says you HAVE TO get married. it's something u do when u are ready for it.
2006-06-05 11:43:08 · answer #4 · answered by feetal2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love your fiance or is it a CRUSH? What would your life be like without her? How does this "good friend" feel really about you? Sometimes things from the past should be left there. If you were meant to be with this "good friend" then you probably would have been. Many of us have very fond memories of past friends and exes, but that is all they are.
2006-06-05 12:56:38 · answer #5 · answered by B Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you are hopelessly, madly in love with your fiance you are still human and if you marry her and years down the road you are human and may think of a ex or your friend or the sexy girl next door. Do you love your fiance with everything in your being, do you think you can be with her forever and never cheat on her? If you can marry her, having thoughts about others isn't cheating its only human.
Good Luck!
2006-06-05 11:25:35 · answer #6 · answered by JAngel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should stay in this relationship for sure.... Let your past be that just the past and let the woman go.... You are in this marriage for better or worse so love and enjoy and cherish what you have at home. Since you are not married i guess it is really your choice who you choose. I cant tell you what to do.
2006-06-05 11:28:47 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally if you don't find that one person you will regret it for he rest of your life. you will never be happy in your marriage or any other realationship if you don't. Do it before its too late.
2006-06-05 12:30:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kill the engagement and search her.......
2006-06-05 11:25:05 · answer #9 · answered by foudakias 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋