this is a question about women's attitude with men: please help?

Question

I have noticed some guys are so sweet, I can talk to them about anything; some others are so tough and strong they even hurt my feelings ; and yet I prefer and fall for the tough guy?! it doesn't make sense!? is it just me? is it a natural mistake women do?

Thank you so much everybody for your answers. I have learnt a lot from you so far.

Just for the record, I wasn't talking about abusive relationships with men (like emotional and physical abuse) no no no, I am definitely not attracted by these. I was just comparing how some men are so much more sensitive and sensible than others that are more like the tough macho kind of guy... that I thought was my type. But after reading you, I have realised that depending on the cycle, the type of guy that attracts me changes! Right on Trish D and the BBC article! thanks for the input!!

Answer 1

I think you are just attracted to the "tough guy" sexually. A lot of gender differentiation has been attributed toward heightening sexuality, and so the difference between a sensitive woman and a "tough guy" heightens that sexual difference. Hence, you feel more attracted to the tough guy, because he's more like your image of what a man is.

Perhaps it's an exaggerated picture of what a man should be like, though.

You can't really help who you're attracted to, but you might start thinking with your head a little bit, instead of just your heart. After all, your heart can lead you into the same destructive relationships, but your head can tell you: I see the same signs for a loser, I'll avoid the problems this time.

Another way to look at it is this, reconsider your definition of strength. Is it strong to be inconsiderate and self-centered? Or, is it strong to think of the one you love, avoid doing the things that hurt her feelings - a strength of soul to care so much that he would *want* to and *be able to* make his woman happy. ;)

Answer 2

i agree with a lot of these guys here and say that it's genetical...but another thing lies in our hormones...
some women have higher levels of testesterone (male hormone). Those women act or even sometime look a little more masculine than usual. These women are usually attracted to the sweet, nice guy, who's more in touch with his feminine side, because in the end they need something that compliments them.
Other women, have higher levels of estrogen (female hormone). They are usually petite, and very feminine. These women are usually attracted to the macho, tough looking guy who's more in touch with his musculine side. This kind of man compliments them...
And please before you misunderstand what i mean by "in touch with his feminine side" i don't mean gay, or girlish in any way...These guys can be very musculine in appearance, but they would have interests that are usually considered feminine. Like cooking, getting a pedicure once in a while...careful about their appearance. Always dressed well. sensitive, and are good listeners....the like....

Answer 3

The answer is in our genes. There was a time-prehistoric time, to be precise-when the world outside was so tough that struggle for survival was Man's daily bread and a wise woman would choose the guy who was strong enough to protect her from predators-animal and human. Looks or brains were irrelavent

Answer 4

I too fall the bad boy and I wish to god that I wouldn't! I have a stella history of not only falling for the wrong guy but actually attracting them!!! Drug Dealer, wife beater, alcholic and my favourite the sex addict!!! All I want now is the love of a kind, solid gentle man who has no intention to hurt me but protect me.

This is why I am trying to consciously make the effort to go for guys that I would not normally consider because he was more 'friend' material its still work in progress but I haven't walked in on my boyfriend shagging 2 blondes on my bed in like 6 months so progress it is.

Think you should try to to the same there is no good in a bad boy!

Answer 5

Oh, don't worry, it is not so black and white. If you blame genetics, it seems like you can't help it, but, fortunately, it is not true. You fall for the strong guy, but you know that you don't need to be hurt and abused. What do you like in these guys is that they appear as self-confident, mature and protective, and there is nothing wrong to like those properties in people. But if you feel violated, hurt, abused, don't hesitate to protect yourself or even break the relationship. When you respect yourself, your taste and tendencies will crystallize and will lead you in a proper way.

Answer 6

most teenage girls prefer tough guys bcos they think they are tough and they are in d same league with them ,they also think of tough guys for protection but the sweet guys also can protect them the only thing that matters is who u love sometimes both tough and sweet guys may just be a camoflague so it depends on what u really want.

Answer 7

Ive fallen foe tough guy and always got hurt. Then I hurt the decent guy! Doesnt make sense. Got the right balance now though.

Answer 8

Well, i personally am the Sweet guy, it may be a phase but you will like the sweeter ones as soon as the tough ones give you a apiece of thier mind, try not to let that happen, it hurts. :P

Answer 9

It's not just you. I think sometimes women want to feel protected by a man but they end up with more than they bargained for. Sometimes the tough giys seem more exciting.

Answer 10

Remember.."GOOD"....."BAD"...."TOUGH"...."WEAK" are all determined for you by society, and the LIFE AND TIMES that we live in. For example, ever read about "THE LIFE and TIMES of:
Jesse James"....????

Now, consider this: "The MisEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL", or
May J. Blige's "MY LIFE".

Have YOU LISTENED to the answers that those two dynamic women offered about RELATIONSHIPS?

I'm a man...so....I certainly would'nt be able to TELL YOU ( a woman) about what I learned from them about being STRONG,...
TOUGH...WEAK...GOOD...OR BAD,....could I?

There are times I like to think of myself as SUPRE-BOY. So,...
when does a BOY become a MAN. A when does a man become
just another "little boy"???

YOU will KNOW,...when YOU decide what it truly means for HIM
to be A GOOD MAN TO YOU!