幫我改英文日記

Question

我用我的超級無敵破英文寫了三篇日記
有誰可以幫我改勒 拜託><
我現在高三

Dear diary:
I was late for school again this morning,because I dealt with
some data about KMU and went to bed too late last night. I feel very tired
today.
Today we watched a film about the infectious disease in military
training lesson. It is a very excitng film. But the film was so long that we
couldn't finish watching it. I'm looking forward to the next military
training lesson so much.
Today I didn't take the school bus after school,but to go to the
chemical reviewing lesson.The content of the course today is
electrochemistry. It was my first time to stay at school to have reviewing
lesson.And when I back home, it was already 9:30 p.m.
Amy 12/26/Wed

Dear diary:
There are only 35 days before the College Entrance Examination.
But I have no preparation. And the more I feel nervous, the more I don't
know what I should do.
I felt a sharp pain in my head this evening.Maybe, it was because
I am too tired.
Today I studying in McDonald, because I am tired of studying in
the cram school. I want to change another place to study. Perhaps I will
go to library tomorrow.
Amy 12/27/Thur


Dear diary:
I get up at 7:15 this morning.I must to be late for school today.
Although I took atexi, it was still too late. I don't know why I didn't hear
the voice of my alarm.
Today is Friday, so the traffic nearing Taipei Railway Station was
very terrible in the evening.It took me almost an hour from Taipei
Railway Station to my home.
Andrew will have English lesson tomorrow morning, so I should
get up early to entertain his tutor.
Amy 12/28/Fri

Answer 1

我不是故意寫錯時態的 ...><...
不過謝謝大家給我的意見

Answer 2

寫日記要用過去式哦
因為是敘述文~ 而且是敘述已經發生的事情..

基本上自己的日記不需要放上來給別人看@@"
自己寫的爽就好
養成習慣
你的英文就會進步
過幾個月再拿出來看
相信你自己就會看出文法的錯誤囉!

Answer 3

Dear diary:
I was late for school again this morning,because I dealt with some data about KMU for staying too late last night. I felt very tired. today. Today we watched a film about the infectious disease in military training lesson. It is a very exciting film. But it was too long for us to watch through it. I'm looking forward to the next military training lesson. I didn't take school bus after school,because I had chemical lesson.Today's content is electrochemistry. It was my first time I study at school. When I got back at home, it was already 9:30 p.m.
Amy 12/26/Wed

Dear diary:
There are only 35 days left for the College Entrance Examination. But I am not get prepared. And I feel more and more nervous, for I don't know what I should do. I felt a sharp painful in my head in the evening. Maybe, I was too tired. Today, I studied at McDonald, because I don't like to study in the cram school. I want to change another place to study. Maybe I will go to library tomorrow.
Amy 12/27/Thur


Dear diary:
I got up at 7:15 in the morning. I was going to be late for school today. I took a taxi to school but I was late. I am not sure I heard the alarm clock ring. Today is Friday. The traffic near Taipei Railway Station was very heavy in the evening.It took me almost an hour from Taipei Railway Station to my home. Andrew will have English lesson tomorrow morning. I should get up early to impress his tutor.
Amy 12/28/Fri

2007-12-29 02:49:30 補充：
其實你寫得很好,不需要大幅修改.
多寫, 你文法的毛病會一天天改善.

我幫你換字, 是為了修正習慣用法.
習慣用法比文法重要.

Answer 4

Dear Diary:
I was late for school again this morning, because I went to bed really late last night busy working on KMU. I felt really tired today and we watched a film about infectiuous disease in military traning lesson. The film was really exciting but it was too long for us to finish it. However, I'm really looking forward to watch the film again tomorrow. I didnt take the bus home today, because I had a chemistry review lesson. The lesson today was on electrochemistry and it was my first time to stay for after school lesson. It was already 9:30 p.m. when I got home. (結尾不完善, 至少說一下你對當天的感覺)
Amy, 12/26 Wed

Dear Diary:
There are only 35 days before the College Entrance Examination and I havent prepare anything for it. I'm getting more nervous each time when I ever I think of myself not knowing what to do. I had a terrible headache this evening because I am stressed out. I studied in McDonalds today instead of cram school, because I am tired of that place. I will probably change my study place to the library tomorrow.
Amy 12/27 Thur

Dear Diary:


I got up at 7:15 this morning and I knew would be late for school again.
Even though I took the taxi to school, but it was still too late. I do not know why I didnt hear the alarm clock.
Today is Friday and there was a traffic jam closed to Taipei Railway Station this evening. It took me almost an hour to get home from Taipei Railway Station. I will have to wake up early to entertain Andrew's tutor because he will be taking the english lesson tomorrow.
Amy 12/28 Fri

結論: 寫得很有趣很不錯 = ) 不過(but)你有些conjunction不是用得很好.
but這個字和and這個字用法是不同的..
for example:
I am going to the movies tomorrow, BUT no one can take me there.
She can't go to the movies tommrow, BUT she could go to Europe.

I am going to the movies tomorrow and the day after that.
I will be visiting your uncle and then come back to Taiwan.

不曉得這樣你懂了嗎?

2007-12-29 02:12:28 補充：
如果是寫正式Essay的話, 你的tense絕對不能跳來跳去.
但是寫日記是比較口語, 所以是比較沒有問題.

For example:
I went to Taipei yesterday and I also "visit" Taipei 101.
因為前面用went, 所以後面的visit要變"visited"

2007-12-29 19:37:32 補充：
學英文不用太急, 慢慢從錯誤中學習效果會更好.