健康與文化的英文論文: 請英語達人們幫我看看文法!

Question

我的教授說我英文的聽 / 說 / 讀都OK，唯獨文法不太好！以下有兩小段是我寫的，老師還沒看過，但想請英文好的大大們幫我看看是否有哪邊需要改進或是語法錯誤！如果有說明者最佳！謝謝：
(1)
This study will be looking at beliefs and attitudes towards persistent pain and current pain treatment between Chinese people and general New Zealanders. The thesis will begin with a general overview regarding theories about pain and various kinds of pain management. Following chapters will be focusing on cultural issues relating to pain and treatment, as well as different health beliefs across cultures in New Zealand . Issues of acculturation on treatment choices will also be discussed.
(2)
Chronic pain often begins as acute pain yet persists longer than the expected healing time, arbitrary defined as 3 or 6 months (Sanderson, 2004). It is a condition that is harder to treat since chronic pain may come with a specific cause, such as cancer or arthritis; while in other cases the dynamics are less identifiable, making the condition more difficult to explain (Hawthorn & Redmond, 1998). In addition, rather than occurring unexpectedly as a result of a single event, Linton (2005) suggested the development of persistent pain conditions is also due to environmental factor.

Answer 1

版主您好:

This study looks at the differences in beliefs and attitudes towards persistent pain and associated treatment between Chinese and New Zealand people in general. The thesis begins with an overview regarding theories about pain and various kinds of its management, followed by chapters focusing on related cultural issues as well as different health beliefs across cultures in New Zealand . Issues of acculturation on treatment choices has also been discussed.

Chronic pain, often with an actue onset, persists longer than the expected healing time, arbitrarily defined as 3 or 6 months(Sanderson, 2004). It is hard to treat since some cases may come with an underlying cause, such as cancer or arthritis, while in others the dynamics is less identifiable, making the condition even more difficult to explain(Hawthorn & Redmond, 1998). In addition to being an unexpected result of a single event, the development of persistent pain conditions can also be due to environmental factors, as suggested by Linton(2005).

1. 對於一篇已經完成的論文, 在introduction時通常使用現在式, 不須用未來式.
2. [overview]=[a general summary], 不須再用[general]
3. 其餘的小幅修改, 相信以版主的實力並不難瞭解.
4. 學術內容在下並不完全熟悉, 若有誤解, 仍以正確性為主, 文法不必強求.
5. 版主的文章其實已經寫得很不錯, 大部分的修改處多半是一時疏忽吧.
6. 尚請指教.