英文自傳 可否幫忙修改？ 謝謝

Question

My name is ╳╳. I am twenty five years old. I was born in Kaohsiung in1981.I am an active girl. I 'm somewhat outgoing and I was a great sense of responsibility and merging with the Colleagues.There are four people in my family, including my parents, younger sister and myself.
I was brought up in a happy family. My parents teach the way democracy to the child, mainly hopes our joyful growth. Because of, has so trained me to many matters frontage ponders and the optimistic positive manner.

I graduated from ╳╳ University. My major was Tourist Business. During the phase of studying, I was also an administrative assistant.

I have working experience of the administration assistant for more than 4 years. In the past 3 years, I held the post of administration assistant in ING CO.LTD.I am good at office application, ex. word, excel, power point, As400.., and so on. I also have sale experience of the assistant for 3 month. Because I decide to move back to Kaohsiung.

In my previous job, I have assisted my co-workers in job related duties, and learnt how to deal with customers and how to interactions with co-workers. I am a detail oriented when it comes to my work. I take pride in my work; and, I am very responsible.

As for my career plan, I am eager to have a stable job to gain some professional training and skills. My long-term career goal is to become an experienced professional expert to help attain goals of the company I work for.
In the future, no matter what type of positions that I hold, I will do my best to do a good job and contribute to the company. I hope I have the opportunity to work for your organization. Thank you for your time and consideration.

我最近要找工作，但因為英文不好，
要麻煩 請各位幫忙我糾正或者修改。 謝謝囉

Answer 1

my name is ______(name...). I am twenty-five years old. I was born in Kaohsiung in 1981. I am both an active girl and an outgoing girl with great sense of responsibility. (the rest doesn't make sense...) I am an detail oriented person that take pride in my work. (moved this up from paragraph 4)

I was born in a happy democratic family with my parent and my younger sister. My parent tried their best to give us the most comfortable living environment. They have devolved their live to make us happy.

I have graduated from the _____(name..) University, and have majored in Tourist Business. During the four years in the university, I have worked as an administrative assistant in ING Co. Ltd where I have excelled in business application such as Microsoft Word, Excel, Power Point and AS400. However, I have worked as a _______(what kind of sales?) sales when I was moving back to Kaohsiung. (I don't see how this is related to your ING job)

From my working experience, I have assisted my co-worker in their work. Moreover, I have developed a cheerful communication technique that improve communication with the customer as well as co-worker.

As for my career plan, I am eager to get more professional training in stable job. My long-term career goal is to become an professional _____(job title...) who is able to assistance your company in _______(somethin' that they want .... ex: achieving their goal, increase profit/revenue, etc).

I believe I am an excellent candidate for this position and look forward to meeting with you to discuss it in greater detail. Thank you for your time.

**********************************************************
i tried my best to make sense out of what you have provided... good luck

2007-09-12 14:59:00 補充：
*As for my career plan, I am eager to get more professional training. My long-term career goal is to become a professional

Answer 2

你可以去看看下面那個部落格，它裡面有滿多英文自我介紹範例和英文自傳翻譯和中英履歷相關的範例&文章，你也可以在上面發問或留言！



滿多需要英文求職信件和履歷表的人在那邊討論可以去看看滴

部落格網址：http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/supercanada2007/

Answer 3

如果有中文原文比較能做出適當的修改，因為您提供的英文部分有許多地方語意不清。

如能提供這份自傳的目的(什麼類型的公司、申請什麼樣的職位等等)會更好，可以順便看看您的自傳有沒有切到重點。